https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog daily 0.75 2026-02-17 https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/8-unique-ways-to-overcome-money-dysmorphia monthly 0.5 2025-02-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/b48de876-85cc-43a2-8d2f-054965e02cfd/pexels-cottonbro-6650004.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - What is Money Dysmorphia? Dysmorphia occurs when there is a disconnect between reality and our perception. Therefore, money dysmorphia occurs when one has a distorted perception of their financial situation. Examples of money dysmorphia include… Obsessing about small expenses despite being financially stable and having a high net worth Buying a new, expensive car despite having significant consumer debt Constantly comparing your possessions (home, car, clothing, etc.) or financial situation to the perceived financial situation of others Money dysmorphia can stem from a number of places, such as a history of financial trauma or instability, social media, reality tv, societal or familial expectations, etc. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e10d3fe4-11c2-4249-b775-de1499a3f799/pexels-mikhail-nilov-7534380.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - Impacts of Money Dysmorphia In the day and age of TikTok and Instagram, money dysmorphia runs rampant. According to Bloomberg, nearly 50% of millennials and Gen Z experience money dysmorphia. People with money dysmorphia experience frequent feelings of shame, disappointment, anxiety, stress, and overwhelm. These feelings can ultimately lead to unhealthy financial behaviors, including financial avoidance, financial hyper vigilance, financial hoarding, and overspending. While money dysmorphia can feel all consuming, overcoming money dysmorphia is possible with time and consistency. Consider the following 8 unique ways to overcome money dysmorphia. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/da39b311-a69d-4f57-9e32-35c67a8db892/pexels-george-milton-6954222.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - 1. Learn The Truth About Influencers Influencers curate their lives for social media. They carefully edit photos and reels to show you only what they want you to see. Influencers have been known to purchase name brand clothing to appear wealthy, only to leave the tag on their Prada jacket, so they can later return it. Similarly, influencers will rent a luxury vehicle and film themselves driving the Porsche around town - pretending they own it. Of course, not all influencers use these manipulative tactics but many do. Check out Hannah Alonzo’s YouTube channel, where she exposes influencer scams. Additionally, the vast majority of influencers do not earn the millions of dollars they appear to earn. According to the Washington Post, just 12% of full time influencers or content creators earn more than $50,000 annually. Just 12%! Bear in mind, that 12% includes celebrities, so the number of every day people earning over $50,000 annually from influencing is very small. Meanwhile, the median annual income for US workers in 2024 is over $59,000 - the majority of ‘full time influencers’ are not keeping up with your 9 to 5. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3f3c2e1a-c0d5-4219-bcbe-4492d9933f9e/pexels-liza-summer-6382452.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - 2. Disconnect and Revaluate Take a social media break for a week, a month, or even a year! Do not post a single thing about your life. Do not look at where your high school ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend’s roommate is going on vacation. While taking this social media break, notice… How often you make purchases or do activities for social media instead of doing them for yourself How often you are comparing yourself to others How your overall mental health and wellbeing has changed as well as your financial health and wellbeing If taking a social media break feels too difficult, unfollow influencers and people that you do not personally know. Strive to cut the number of people that you follow in half - that’s right, challenge extended! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/9988cefe-e6b4-43be-ab6b-f4cd514d5903/pexels-anna-nekrashevich-6801865.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - 3. Fact Analyzing If you are seeking out financial statistics or rules of thumb, make sure that you have a thorough understanding of the context surrounding the statistics. For example, according to NerdWallet, the average net worth for US families is over 1 million dollars! If you were to compare your net worth to this number, you may fall short, resulting in feelings of inadequacy, shame, and scarcity. However, knowing that the over 1,000 billionaires of the country - Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Oprah, Mark Zuckerburg, Taylor Swift, and Rihanna - are included in that average adds context to the statistic. Billionaires (and hundred millionaires) dramatically skew the numbers. Additionally, this statistic is for ‘US households’ and does not indicate a specific age range. Someone early in their career is not likely to be close to a 1 million dollar net worth. Similarly, a single person may not have as high a net worth as a couple (especially those DINKS - dual income, no children). Finally, this statistic does not take into account where you live. Seattle’s minimum wage is over $20, while Tulsa’s minimum wage is just over $7! Despite cost of living differences, it is fair to assume that Seattleites will more quickly reach a 1 million dollar net worth than Tulsans. Read Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World--and Why Things Are Better Than You Think by Hans Rosling to better understand statistics https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/bf84f8f7-d93f-49a7-bc89-5d2cc7369883/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4247717.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - 4. Unpack Financial Trauma A history of financial trauma or instability may be a source of your money dysmorphia. If so, consider working with a Certified Financial Therapist, who can help you to identify your triggers, explore your fears and anxieties, and reduce feelings of shame or inadequacy. For many people, the idea of financial therapy can incite feelings of anxiety - after all, who wants to bear their most intimate financial feelings and experiences, financial feelings and experiences that are too taboo to even discuss with friends, family, and partners. However, in my experience as a financial therapist, clients often feel an immediate sense of relief after disclosing their financial feelings, as a weight has been lifted. Through ongoing therapeutic work, sustainable change is possible! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c877094a-9fa0-4b39-8a40-6c9bfa2157b4/pexels-ivan-samkov-7671354.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - 5. Fact Gathering Gather your financial information. Write down your income, monthly expenses, assets, and debts. Pay attention to these numbers on a consistent basis to stay grounded in your financial reality. Look at your savings and expenses over the past month and ask yourself… What purchases did I make or not make due to my money dysmorphia? Did I make these purchases for myself or for others? How does my money dysmorphia make me feel? What changes can I make in the month ahead to reduce feelings of shame, guilt, and regret? What changes can I make in the month ahead to increase feelings of pride, freedom, and confidence? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/abadce17-28b0-4e45-87ca-20e736f5a360/pexels-pixabay-36039.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - 6. Compare with Yourself If you are to compare at all, compare to your past self (proceed with caution when comparing of course). When we compare to others, we are comparing complete information about ourselves to incomplete information about others. When we compare to our past selves, we can celebrate the progress that we have made and increase feelings of motivation. Consider tracking your net worth (assets minus debts) on a semi-annual basis. Tracking your net worth semi-annually will help you to zoom out from the day to day, so you can better see the bigger picture and all the progress that you have made. Celebrate each milestone - reaching a $0 net worth, your first $10,000, your first $50,000, etc. *Do not compare with your twin either - I just could not resist this picture https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6334294f-a6ed-4fe6-b561-7b18a37e3993/pexels-mikhail-nilov-9158373.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - 7. Increase Your Financial Education You may be experiencing money dysmorphia in part due to a lack of financial education. While financial education is slowly making its way into schools around the country, the majority of us never received a formal financial education. While pursuing financial education may sound daunting, it will be worthwhile. Your knowledge will snowball with each book you read or podcast you listen to. If you would like to further explore your relationship to money, read Feel Good Finance by Aja Evans or Mind Over Money by Brad and Ted Klontz If you would like to learn more about investing, read Girls That Invest by Simran Kaur or The Simple Path to Wealth by JL Collins If you would like an introductory financial book, read I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi or Broke Millennial by Erin Lowry https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/28fd2581-6f3a-40be-a49a-244d0d0fbf15/pexels-laura-tancredi-7083925.jpg Blog - 8 Unique Ways to Overcome Money Dysmorphia - 8. Daily Reminders Finally, to combat money dysmorphia requires rewiring your mind. Reciting the following daily reminders (or creating your own) will help you to identify thinking errors as they occur throughout the day. “Knowing my friend’s income does not mean I understand my friend’s entire financial picture, and just as I do not share my financial anxieties with others, they do not share their financial anxieties with me.” “I make financial decisions based on what is best for me, not based on how I would like others to perceive me.” “My net worth does not equal my self worth.” “No one cares more about my money than me, and spending my money to ‘keep up with the Jones’ is a losing battle.” https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/12-months-12-financial-to-dos-for-2025 monthly 0.5 2025-01-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0c15e08c-b040-4e55-a2f9-fb30daf4a7b8/pexels-alena-19602271.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - January: Net Worth and Feelings Tracker Start the new year by tracking your net worth and your feelings. To calculate your net worth add all of your assets (savings, investments, etc.) and subtract your debts (student loans, credit card debt, etc.). You can choose whether or not you would like to include your equity and mortgage or not. Regardless of your approach, be consistent, so you have an accurate picture of your progress. You can use an app, such as Monarch Money, an Excel spreadsheet, or simple pen and paper to track your net worth. Alongside your current net worth, write your responses to the following questions. How do I feel financially at this moment? How will I feel when my net worth doubles? How does the journey to reducing my debts and increasing my assets feel? Every six months from now until forever, continue to track your net worth and your feelings. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/552c6a47-0920-4e59-87e2-f5ec64a3d0f7/pexels-viktoria-slowikowska-5331263.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - February: Income and Expense Tracker Forget budgeting! Instead, spend two months per year tracking your expenses. Tracking your expenses will shed light on how you are actually spending your money, as opposed to a budget which is purely hypothetical. This data can help inform future financial decision making. Keys to tracking your expenses… Only Two Months: Tracking your income and expenses for one month of tracking will not give you a realistic idea of your spending, as spending naturally fluctuates from month to month, while six months of tracking is so. much. work. and ultimately unnecessary. Two months is just right! Annually: Income, rent, inflation, and changes in habits will impact your income and expense tracking on a year to year basis. Tracking annually will help you to stay up to date on your personal finances. Similar to tracking your net worth, you can use an app, Excel spreadsheet, or pen and paper - whatever approach you will commit to is the best approach! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/b5eca3ff-3d65-442c-b15e-80647324d249/pexels-rdne-8140238.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - March: Increase Retirement Contributions March can be a great time to increase your retirement contributions. Regardless of how much you are currently contributing to your retirement, a simple 1% increase could lead to tens of thousands of dollars in retirement, and you will not even notice the 1% removed from your paycheck. If you feel like you can increase your contributions by more than 1%, by all means - you will thank yourself later! Read more about the difference 1% can make in your retirement at CNBC https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/07436832-5cc8-418d-867f-7db4f5c05b55/pexels-rdne-7951974.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - April: Open A New Savings Account (or Two) Having multiple savings accounts with different intended purposes will help you to achieve your financial goals and avoid debt. You can have as many savings accounts as you would like! Consider the following savings accounts… Emergency Savings Accounts: For situations that are necessary, urgent, and unexpected. Sinking Funds: Spread large annual, semi-annual, and quarterly expenses evenly throughout the year. $1,000 car insurance annually + $300 hair care quarterly = $2,200 annually. Contributing $183 to a sinking fund each month will allow you to cover those costs when they arise. Travel Savings Accounts: For visits to friends and family or international adventures. Future Funds: To achieve future goals (a car, a downpayment, a memory foam mattress, whatever your heart desires). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/7e93c848-f121-41a4-9923-fa7c5eff010e/pexels-gustavo-fring-8769718.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - May: Social Security Benefit Estimator Now that you have filed your taxes, take a moment to create an account through the Social Security Administration. Through the SSA, you can check your estimated monthly benefit depending on your projected retirement age. This information is an important part of your overall financial picture and will help you to more effectively plan for the future. You will also be able to see exactly how much money you have earned each year since you started earning money using your social security number. Enjoy laughing at how little you made at your first job 30 years ago and celebrating how far you have come! Also, take the time to ensure there are no errors in your income, as this could impact your monthly benefit in retirement. If you are considering skipping this month, read CNBC’s Will Social Security Run Out? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/1f1117f0-2307-4c66-aa06-03135e1498f4/pexels-pavel-danilyuk-6812549.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - June: Track Work Contributions As we are (almost) halfway through the year, take some time to write out a list of your work contributions - ways in which you have met or exceeded expectations this year. Continually update this list throughout the year. When you are completely your year end self-evaluation or negotiating for a raise, you will have plenty of evidence of why you are deserving. Also, if you are applying for a promotion or interviewing for a new job, you can use examples from this list to demonstrate your qualifications. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8c98a9c7-0339-46f9-9c61-d65ab10edc3e/pexels-agallego007-2257043.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - July: Read A Financial Book Not all financial books are dry and boring! Enjoy reading one of the following books to expand your understanding of yourself and your finances. Feel Good Finance: Untangle Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being by Certified Financial Therapist Aja Evans Die With Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life by Bill Perkins The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness by New York Times Best Selling Author Morgan Housel https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c8c0e7a5-6ffa-4092-a235-58f8cbab9df4/pexels-mikhail-nilov-8101725.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - August: Check Your Credit Your credit report will provide you a detailed review of your credit history (on time and late payments, credit inquiries, etc.) Checking your credit is important for a number of reasons, including detecting inaccurate or incomplete information as well as fraud. Check your credit report with all three major credit bureaus for free at AnnualCreditReport.com. Note: checking your credit report does not impact your credit score. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/25bcf738-7731-4f43-8b54-7bc10ab27df1/pexels-josh-hild-1270765-2949140.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - September: Organize Debt If you have debt of any time, take September to get organized. Track the total balance, interest, and minimum monthly payment of each debt. Create a plan to pay down just one of your debts. Pro Tip: You can contact banks and loan providers to change your payment date, so all of your debt payments land on the same date. Fewer payment dates can lead to fewer accidentally missed payments. Another Pro Tip: Contact banks and loan providers to request a lower interest rate if you automate monthly payments. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/02c50853-68fa-4637-8a7b-0d477602d93a/pexels-gabby-k-5634776.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - October: Financial Self-Care For some people, financial self-care means spending more money on themselves. For others, financial self-care means saving money for the future. Reflect on what financial self-care means to you. How are you spending money in ways that enhance your financial health and overall wellbeing? How are you saving money in ways that enhance your financial health and overall wellbeing? What changes would you like to make this month to improve your financial self-care? How do you plan to implement these changes? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e2706ae9-ba68-4b74-b822-46e662937fd3/pexels-pavel-danilyuk-8152732.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - November: Meet With Human Resources November is the perfect month to arrange a one-on-one meeting with Human Resources, as open enrollment is underway. Equipping yourself with knowledge regarding workplace benefits will help you to feel empowered and confident as you elect benefits and enter the new year. Ask HR… What new benefits exist? What changes to current benefits are there? Are there any lesser known benefits that I should be aware of? Remember to… Take notes during the conversation Continue asking questions until you understand https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/9ad568b0-7f2a-4111-a328-d38c80be4879/pexels-shkrabaanthony-5493200.jpg Blog - 12 Months, 12 Financial To Dos For 2025 - December: Donate To A Cause With lots of holiday spirit in the air, December is a wonderful time of year to give your love, your time, and your money. Consider donating money to a cause that is meaningful to you or to a local organization that would immediately impact your community. Review Forbes’ list of Top 100 Charities to learn about organizations that could benefit from your donation. Use resources such as Charity Navigator and Charity Watch to assess the impact and practices of specific charities. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/8-personal-finance-tips-for-people-with-adhd monthly 0.5 2024-12-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/38196e7a-5311-41fa-af9e-659e3e05f0f3/pexels-cottonbro-5529905.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - Personal Finance + ADHD Difficulty managing personal finances can be difficult for anyone. People with ADHD face unique financial challenges that can make managing personal finances even more difficult. If you have ADHD and find yourself struggling to manage your personal finances, you are in good company! According to The Guardian… 65% of people with ADHD believe that having ADHD makes managing money more difficult The most common issues that people with ADHD face are impulse spending (58%), difficulty budgeting (51%), and struggling to save (49%) As impulse spending is the most common issue that people with ADHD face, let’s take a moment to talk about spending. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c6c77aee-7b67-4d03-81c3-5ab3d58287f6/pexels-sam-lion-5710208.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - Spending + ADHD Spending is a single aspect of money, a necessary aspect in fact. Therefore, spending responsibly is an important skill for everyone to learn. Impulse spending and overspending, or spending beyond your means, does not mean that you are bad with money. More importantly, impulse spending and overspending does not mean that you are a bad person. Remember… Overspending is a verb, not a noun. Your spending is not a reflection of who you are. Having ADHD does not mean that you are incapable of having a strong financial future. ADHD does not define your capacity with money. Having ADHD can be a strength in financial management. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/bebe559d-d305-444a-9c2a-e96f4b4373a9/pexels-mart-production-7606028.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - 1. Nix The Spreadsheets: Automate! Forget the spreadsheets and automate. Automate. Automate. Automate. Automation is recommended for everyone, not just for people with ADHD. Automation reduces human error - in our busy busy lives it can be easy to forget when our credit card or utility bill is due. Automating can feel like a lot of work at first. Fortunately, you only have to spend time getting organized and automated with everything once. You may occasionally need to automate something new - for example, retirement contributions when you start at a new employer - but for the most part, once you have automated your finances, you are set to forget! Explore these freeing budgeting alternatives Automate credit card payments, bill payments, retirement contributions, retirement investments, etc. Schedule just ten to fifteen minutes once a week to check your bank account and credit cards for any errors. This can be while walking your dog, watching tv, or between sets at the gym. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d279ef67-652b-4e2d-82fb-e2be27ff67e5/pexels-yankrukov-6816422.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - 2. Eliminate Spending Triggers We all have triggers that cause us to spend. Triggers can be internal, external or emotional. Identifying and eliminating spending triggers can reduce overall spending. If having your credit card saved on your phone and laptop leads to increased spending, delete your credit card information from all devices. If retail emails lead to impulse spending, unsubscribe from all retail emails. You can spend time unsubscribing from all at once, or as you receive emails each day, you can unsubscribe from them. If upcoming events (holiday party, birthday party, etc.) lead to impulse spending, consider asking the host how specifically you can contribute. To learn more about emotional spending triggers, read 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c81e380b-1ed3-46c5-a38e-bf41ab2783f6/pexels-cottonbro-4690306.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - 3. Assess Your Purchases Many people with ADHD are ambitious visionaries - they see a postcard and envision an art project or they have an idea to rearrange the living room that is more functional. While in so many ways this is beautiful(!!), unnecessary or unused purchases can create financial strains. The goal is not to eliminate spending altogether, rather to simply reduce the amount of spending that you are doing, so you can achieve your financial goals and have financial safety and security. Create a list of questions specific that you can ask yourself before making a purchase. For example… “Do I have the money for this purchase?” “Is this a need or is this an exciting idea?” “If this is an exciting idea, how likely am I to follow through with this idea?” “Could I save this exciting idea and purchase for when I have more time and capacity?” “If I find an item that sparks a exciting idea, can I wait 72 hours to make this purchase?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/46072ddd-5276-4b4c-a631-ff0963c8b4fc/pexels-tima-miroshnichenko-5199164.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - 4. Plan For Impulse Spending While planning to spend impulsively may sound contradictory, it is actually very responsible! If you know that you are going to impulsively spend, instead of exerting so much self-control in an attempt to contain your impulses, plan for them. Planning to spend impulsively will not only improve your finances but it will also reduce feelings of shame. Open a savings account for impulse spending. Automate your contributions to the account. If you have money in the account, impulse spend away! Move your emergency and long term savings accounts to a different bank than your checking account and impulse spending account, so you are not tempted to use them - out of sight, out of mind! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/52139f37-3f40-40cd-b1d6-032cd7cf0de1/pexels-samson-katt-5255154.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - 5. Tell Yourself A New Story Repeatedly, telling yourself that you are bad with money or that you are incapable of managing your personal finances will only hold you back from achieving the financial safety and security that you are seeking. You do not need to tell yourself that you are excellent at managing money - just that you are capable. Write down three to five ways that you are responsible with money (everyone has three to five ways at least!) Increase your financial literacy Read or listen to a personal finance book, such as I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Rami Sethi Listen to the ADHD Money and Finance Podcast Focus on improving one area of your finances each month January: Automate accounts February: Increase retirement contributions 1% March: Open an impulse spending account Etc. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/2daf16e7-c5de-4737-8874-09bfa40a7063/pexels-ingo-609771.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - 6. Expand Your Community Community helps to increase connectedness and decrease feelings of shame. Connecting with other people with ADHD who struggle to manage their finances can help you to feel less lonely and to learn different ways that people manage their money that work for them. You may find that you have ideas that others could benefit from too! Follow… Tina Mathams - the ADHD Accountant David DeWitt CFP - ADHD Money Talk Ellyce Fulmore of Queerd Co. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a09bc800-38fb-4a27-b38c-97317b2d4adb/pexels-thirdman-7659546.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - 7. Ask for Help There are many aspects to personal finances - spending, saving, investing, taxes, charitable giving, etc. Find the aspects of personal finance that you feel confident about and do those yourself. Find someone (a professional or a trusted friend or family member) who can help you with the rest (this is called outsourcing). If you have joint finances with a partner or spouse, communicate with one another about what areas of finance you feel most confident managing. Consider… Working with a Certified Financial Therapist (CFT), an Accredited Financial Counselor, or a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5920e38f-471d-46c3-9ecf-70dabc43125f/pexels-martin-138963-449609.jpg Blog - 8 Personal Finance Tips For People With ADHD - 8. Keep Trying If you experience a financial setback, know that everyone does - keep trying. If none of the tips in this blog post work for you, seek support elsewhere - keep trying. If you feel like you are taking two steps forward and one step back, you are still making forward progress! You deserve financial safety and security - keep the end goal in mind. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/25-transformative-money-affirmations-manifest-that-a-series-part-iv monthly 0.5 2024-11-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/857bed00-e349-4214-820e-f0c53d1b3624/pexels-tima-miroshnichenko-6169639.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Employment Affirmations Jobs serve different purposes at different times in our lives. There may be times in our lives when we are seeking personal fulfillment from our jobs at the expense of flexibility and high pay, and there may be times when we are seeking structure and predictability at the expense of professional growth potential and creativity. Sometimes, we can have it all. Oftentimes, we cannot. Awareness about what you need in a job for this season of your life is crucial in providing direction, alleviating guilt, and feeling confident in your decisions. Use the following activities to inform your employment affirmations… Read Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life by Jordan Grumet, MD Read Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4dc2477d-2f59-410d-8777-4b3432fda6e2/pexels-mikhail-nilov-8923026.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Templates It is okay that earning more income is a priority for me. It is okay that earning more income is not a priority for me. I can work in a helping profession (teachers, nurses, social workers, etc.) and earn money. I do not have to be a martyr, sacrificing my wellbeing for my career. I am going to apply for new jobs, as I am not fairly compensated or recognized for the work I do at my current employer. I will keep track of my work accomplishments throughout the year, so I can present them to my boss at my annual review. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/bfa82e40-e396-4694-9317-30b91ba46852/pexels-cristian-rojas-10039531.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Empowerment Affirmations Financial empowerment takes many forms, including opening an independent savings account, investing your first dollar, starting your own business, and creating a trust for future generations. Financial empowerment reduces feelings of shame and increases feelings of confidence, enhancing overall mental health and financial well being. You do not need to be a high income earner or a high net worth individual to feel financially empowered. Feeling financially empowered is for everyone. Use the following reflections to inform your empowerment affirmations… What does financial empowerment mean and look like for you? In what ways do I feel empowered financially? In what ways would I like to feel more empowered financially? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5689bbac-8d11-4aa0-9e6f-4e957f45230e/pexels-kseniachernaya-7302894.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Templates I trust myself to make a good financial decision. I trust myself to seek financial help (financial therapist, mental health therapist, financial advisor, etc.). I recognize that money will always play a role in life, and I want to actively decide what role it plays. I can identify what is within my control and what is outside of my control, and I am focusing on what is within my control. I deserve to feel financially empowered. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ba9b6ba7-83d2-4f34-9b9b-72ff7ab10475/pexels-ron-lach-7803551.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Partnership Affirmations Multi billionaire Warren Buffet among many others believes that the most important financial decision that you will ever make is who you marry. Not only is marriage an economic contract, your partner is the person who will support your dreams and ambitions and who will collaborate with you on setting and working towards achieving your financial goals. Or they won’t. Regardless, you will greatly impact one another financially. Whether or not you are in a long term partnership, you and your partner can always work on your relationship to money. If you and your partner are looking for unbiased support, consider working with a Certified Financial Therapist. Use the following activity to inform your partnership affirmations… Follow @soundfinancialtherapy for financial conversation starters to bring you and your partner closer together https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/eac4189d-1c4f-4379-bf80-69c14677cda3/pexels-mizunokozuki-13931241.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Templates I will communicate with my partner what I need in order to feel financially safe and secure with them. I will start financial conversations with my partner by sharing my feelings as opposed to discussing numbers or making accusations. I am starting to say ‘our money | income | debt’ instead of ‘my money | income | debt’ or ‘your money | income | debt’, so my partner feels more financially safe and secure. I understand that, because I committed financial infidelity, it may take my partner time to trust me again. I understand that, because my partner experienced financial infidelity by a former partner, it may take time for them to trust me. This is a healthy protective mechanism that they have adopted. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5df69bbb-1478-4c4f-8045-d69bce52d5f9/pexels-yankrukov-7691766.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Wealth Affirmations We all have a unique relationship to wealth. Some believe that you can never have enough wealth while others believe that wealth is evil or greedy. A commonly-held belief albeit a misconception is that wealthy people do not have financial stress. While money can solve many problems, it certainly does not heal feelings of financial anxiety, shame, and guilt. If you are working hard to have enough money to eliminate your financial shame, consider working with a certified financial therapist, as you may never reach ‘enough’. Regardless of your beliefs about wealth, it is ever beneficial to take the time to better understand these beliefs - their source, purpose, and impact. Use the following reflections to inform your wealth affirmations… Define wealth Exactly how much money (income or net worth) does one need to be considered wealthy? Are people with $100 less than this amount not wealthy? How about with $1,000 less? $10,000? How important is attaining wealth to you? Why or why not? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/47bd9815-a083-4f1f-af15-8a7b01a18a6a/pexels-karolina-grabowska-6328876.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Templates My passion does not generate wealth. It is okay for me to pursue my passion. My passion does not generate wealth. It is okay for me to pursue wealth. Money is not what gives my life meaning. As I build my wealth, I will always prioritize contributing money to causes that are meaningful to me. I have financial privilege yet I cannot sleep at night, because I continue to worry about money. I recognize that money is not about numbers, and I am committed to doing the inner work I need to alleviate these worries. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8b29c67b-ad71-4ee1-8ea2-a57c14aadb48/pexels-saturnus99-17815774.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Hobbies and Interests Affirmations Our hobbies and interests are worth investing in as they are vital to our self-care and mental health and wellbeing. Some hobbies and interests are more expensive than others; therefore, different hobbies and interests can have drastically different impacts on our budgets. We should spend money on our hobbies and interests, and we should do so thoughtfully. Use the following reflections to inform your spending affirmations… What three hobbies and interests are absolutely essential to my mental health and wellbeing? Why? What one hobby or interest do I have that has a higher financial investment than wellbeing benefit or return? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/db1b94d3-7466-4001-8296-1de8c6d4f1bb/pexels-hazardos-1214566.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part IV] - Templates I cannot afford every hobby right now, but I can afford them over the years to come. Timing is everything. For every one hobby that I have to spend money on, I will find one that I do not have to spend money on. I will only purchase clothing if the price per use (price of item divided by number of uses) is less than $7. I can find creative ways to engage in travel (couch surfing, visiting friends, Host a Sister, staying with alumni from my alma mater, etc.) that do not require me to spend as much money. I am going to make personal finance my new favorite hobby! https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/10-helpful-tips-to-arguing-about-money monthly 0.5 2024-11-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c501e288-9d0a-46ce-b800-7a222f9c2dce/pexels-thirdman-7236843.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - We All Argue Sometimes Tips on arguing about money? Yes! Arguing in a relationship is inevitable, and as money is deeply personal and emotional, arguing about money in a relationship is also inevitable. Instead of avoiding arguing altogether, you can equip yourself to argue in a way that is more constructive and less harmful. Being able to fight fairly, compassionately, and vulnerably is an important relational skill. Some of the following tips can be implemented in the moment while others require ongoing work and self-reflection. These tips will not prevent you from arguing, rather they will help you to have more conversations about money that simply feel good. Read Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr. Julie Gottman and Dr. John Gottman https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4919097c-6692-4b58-8cb4-362f8077fe6f/pexels-elizabeth-ferreira-1040803688-20846841.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 1. Self-Awareness When arguing about money, couples often think that they are talking about the numbers or the budget. In actuality, feelings are pouring out - through tone of voice, body language, rising heart rate, dissociation, etc. These feelings actually drive the conversation and the resulting outcome. Self-awareness can help substantially during financial conflict. Learning and knowing your financial beliefs, fears, needs, and triggers will enable you to be more present, communicative, and vulnerable throughout the conversation. You can always grow in your relationship to money, and exploring your relationship to money will help you to better express your financial shame or financial anxiety to your partner in the moment. Read Financial Shame Talk with your therapist or a Certified Financial Therapist about your relationship to money https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4991de4e-2b07-40ef-af0e-b5fb377d7836/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4759644.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 2. Identify The Actual Problem If you and your partner are arguing about the $7 that your partner spent on coffee this morning, you are not arguing about money. Pause the conversation, and identify, within yourselves, the actual problem. Perhaps you feel betrayed and disappointed that your partner said that they would change their spending habits yet continue to make daily unnecessary expenditures. Or perhaps you feel frustrated and exploited, as your partner is not working and financially contributing to the household. Or perhaps you feel anxious and insecure about your partner spending money, as you grew up with a financially anxious single parent. And these are just your feelings! Consider how your partner may feel - powerless, guilty, ashamed, resentful, or inadequate. Regardless of how each of you feel, ultimately you are not arguing about $7. You are not arguing about coffee. When a financial argument arises or escalates, ask to pause the conversation for 10 or 15 minutes. Use that time to consider how you feel. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/187de824-97a2-4e70-9f72-141d758678f6/pexels-sedcreatives-11569991.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 3. Do Not Fight Emotion With Logic If your partner expresses feelings of shame, worry, or anxiety about money, all the logic and spreadsheets in the world will not help. In fact, it is most likely that your logic and spreadsheets will have the opposite impact, resulting in your partner feeling misunderstood, helpless, or frustrated. When your partner expresses their feelings about money, they want to feel heard and understood. It can be difficult to fight the urge to ‘fix’ the ‘problem.’ However, remember that usually, when we want to quickly ‘solve’ our partner’s feelings, it is due to our own feelings of discomfort. Regulate your own emotions Identify and validate your partner’s feelings Ask your partner, “how can I best support you right now?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/577a133e-a51c-4dce-8c10-23d31a638513/pexels-yankrukov-6818310.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 4. Do Not Fight Logic With Emotion If your partner wants to review your net worth or debt pay down approach together, sharing your emotions may be counter-productive at this time. Your feelings of worry, anxiety, fear, and shame are real, and there is a time and place to express them. If every time you and your partner start discussing money, you become emotionally heightened, it will be difficult to have a constructive conversation. Your partner may avoid future financial conversations or feel hurt, annoyed, or frustrated that you are unable to meet them in this discussion. Of course, shutting off your feelings is not possible. Fortunately, the goal is not to shut off your feelings entirely. Instead, strive to be present to the conversation and task at hand. Regulate your own emotions If you need time to regulate your emotions, ask your partner for a 15 minute break from the conversation, so you can reset and refocus. Use the 15 minute break to move your body and drink some water. Identify your financial triggers and communicate them to your partner https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a7f3168a-208c-470a-bd36-63df27735561/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4657894.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 5. Accept That You Are Both Right In personal finance, there are no universal truths, no rights and wrongs, no ‘should’s. There is only our unique experiences and identities which have shaped our financial beliefs and feelings and our relationship to money. If your partner wants to pay off student loan debt before investing in a Roth IRA while you want to pay off student loan debt and invest in a Roth IRA at the same time, you are both right - how frustrating! Or, how liberating! Accepting that you are both right in your own way allows you to be stronger together than separate. You both add value and merit to the conversation and decision making. You both have blind spots that the other person can help you to see. Recognize and validate your partner’s perspective Express appreciation for your partner’s perspective, although you may not agree with them https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/dd59b35a-0c0c-4207-9d28-57275e4002b8/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-5039514.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 6. Me + You, not Me > You Always remember that you and your partner are on the same team. If you feel like you, individually, have ‘won’ the argument, then as a team you have both lost. If just one of you leaves the conversation feeling hurt or unheard, you have both lost. Approach financial conversations with a collaborative mindset, with the hope and goal of better understanding one another. Ask your partner questions from a place of curiosity rather than a place of judgment. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt - assume that they are not making accusations, that they have a more complicated relationship with money than you currently know or understand, that they want to work together with you. Hear your partner. Be vulnerable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/834df47a-2e6e-4fa2-9b9b-3c826f203393/pexels-kindelmedia-6774942.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 7. Blame and Accountability Blame and accountability go hand in hand. Avoid placing financial blame on your partner. Aside from abusive relationships, financial circumstances and financial conflict are rarely (if ever) entirely one person’s fault. In fact, both people play a part in the dynamic. Oftentimes, people assume that the ‘spender’ in the relationship is entirely the ‘problem’. This is not the case. Sometimes, ‘spenders’ are not in fact spenders at all. Rather their partner underspends - for example, not replacing basic household necessities due to a scarcity mindset or financial hoarding - ultimately resulting in one person spending more to overcompensate. Avoid blaming altogether. Similarly, take accountability for your actions. Taking accountability for your actions creates a space where both people can be vulnerable, honest, and humble. If both people are able to take accountability, you will make swift progress! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4c777851-d71f-4f4e-912e-ad7c4abb96d1/pexels-shvets-production-8972563.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 8. Lifelong Relationships Your relationship with your partner is lifelong as is your relationship to money. Your relationship with your partner impacts your relationship to money. For example, if your partner is money avoidant, you may feel obligated to manage household finances, leaving you feeling incompetent and incapable. Similarly, your relationship to money impacts your relationship with your partner. For example, working towards financial goals together can help you feel more connected and increase emotional intimacy. Keep all of this in mind during a financial argument. That change takes time. That your words matter. That some arguments are not worth having (pick and choose your battles). That you are in this relationship for the long haul. That sometimes you will not and cannot come to a resolution. That you can always come back to the conversation another day. That you care about one another. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/bd62ab2b-3783-42da-9bfc-a918adebbc63/pexels-diva-plavalaguna-5711502.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 9. Work With A Couples Financial Therapist If you and your partner continue to argue about money and feel like you are having the same arguments over and over again, you may benefit from working with a financial couples therapist, who can offer unbiased support and new perspectives. A financial therapist is not a financial advisor and cannot legally give you financial advice. However, a financial therapist can help you to better communicate about money, become more aligned, and identify financial goals and a path towards achieving those goals together. Search for a Certified Financial Therapist through the Financial Therapy Association Google ‘financial therapist near me’ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a79311bc-e4ce-416d-b922-7296743d402a/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4746809.jpg Blog - 10 Helpful Tips To Arguing About Money - 10. Commit to Repair and Connection Following a financial argument (or any argument for that matter), committing to repair and connection is essential. Their are many ways to repair and connect following an argument. Find the approach that works best for you and your partner. Consider the following ways to commit to repair… Apologize Listen reflectively Validate your partner’s feelings Consider the following ways to commit to connection… Physical touch Remove yourselves from the physical space where the argument took place Engage a shared activity that you both enjoy Go on a walk together https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/8-impacts-of-race-ethnicity-and-culture-on-financial-beliefs monthly 0.5 2024-11-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4745d94f-d69e-473b-ae49-e319a94cee10/pexels-kampus-6721940.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - Financial Beliefs In Context “You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.” Your financial beliefs did not just fall out of a coconut tree. Rather, they exist in the context of culture. Culture permeates our being. Our sense of humor, time orientation, work ethic, personal space, dating practices, even our gestures are all formed through culture. Oftentimes, we accept these behaviors and beliefs as universal truths, and as we are submerged in our culture, it can be difficult to notice let alone accept that these behaviors and beliefs are not universal truths. While they may feel true to us, there are no universal financial truths. Just as public displays of affection are not inherently good or bad, spending money on oneself is not inherently good or bad even though our culture may have strong stances for or against it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4645cb3d-2feb-435d-8d64-5a8d39f14ad5/pexels-rdne-5530667.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - Financial Compatability in Interracial and Intercultural Relationships Your partner’s financial beliefs also did not just fall out of a coconut tree. Your partner is just as much their culture as you are your’s. Your partner’s financial beliefs are deeply, deeply held and true to them. Interracial and intercultural couples can learn a lot about themselves, their culture, and their beliefs through their partner. Better understanding how culture impacts your financial beliefs and your partner’s financial beliefs will improve communication about money, lead to sustainable behavioral change, increase alignment, and bring you closer together. Learning from one another’s financial beliefs and gaining new perspectives could even help to improve your individual relationships to money. Be open to your partner’s financial beliefs - you just might learn something! Question your own financial beliefs - questioning your financial beliefs does not mean that you need to change them (but you might!). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/332c88e8-161d-4d8b-b55d-2d8bda8d1fa6/pexels-keira-burton-6147237.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - 1. Cultural and Global Historical Events We learn about money from our caregivers, who learned about money from their caregivers, who learned about money from their caregivers, and on and on. Therefore, the impact of cultural and global historical events, such as the Cuban Revolution, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and the very recent independence of Kosovo, on personal financial beliefs cannot be overstated. Intergenerational financial trauma can lead to feelings of shame, anxiety, insecurity, and more. Understanding the roots of your financial beliefs can help you to address and change them (if you want to that is!). Ask your parents or grandparents about the cultural and global historical events that shaped their financial beliefs. Learn more about the history of the country that your parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents were from to better understand their financial beliefs and your financial beliefs. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ebee0de1-e5fe-4351-82d7-fe5965fe2323/pexels-jonathanborba-6520595.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - 2. Global Political Differences Country politics dictate the rights, restrictions, opportunities, and freedoms of a people. These rights, restrictions, opportunities, and freedoms instill different financial beliefs. For example, according to the World Bank, some countries “do not provide for equal inheritance rights for sons and daughters”, while in the United States, you can leave your assets to anyone (partner, child, sibling, friend, charity, or even a guardian for your pet!). Imagine the different financial beliefs that these two vastly different scenarios could instill in a person. Learn about the financial rights, restrictions, opportunities, and freedoms of the country that you live in and consider this has shaped your financial beliefs. If your family and\or your partner’s family has immigrated from another country, learn about the financial rights, restrictions, opportunities, and freedoms of your\their country of origin. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8b7f4344-d9b9-4891-9cfd-ca25db181639/pexels-pavel-danilyuk-6549790.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - 3. United States History Let’s take a look at two major historical events that have shaped American financial beliefs and behaviors. Many people who lived through the Great Depression of 1929 strongly believe in saving money and being frugal. Children of Depression era parents witnessed these financial behaviors and formulated their own beliefs about scarcity, insecurity, hoarding, etc. Furthermore, according to the Library of Congress, African Americans were most impacted by the Great Depression with unemployment rates reaching nearly 50%. Consider how you and your partner’s families were impacted differently by the same historical event. Until the Fair Housing Act of 1968 and the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, mortgage lenders and creditors could legally discriminate based on race and national origin. Reflect on the intergenerational financial privileges and disadvantages that you and your partner have. For example, if your parents could not obtain a mortgage or credit card, how did that shape your financial beliefs? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a11b54a0-3bb7-4745-9577-63b3352398b4/pexels-cottonbro-6284624.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - 4. Social Mobility The social mobility index indicates the possibility that a person can move from a lower social status to a higher social status either through means of a ‘better’ title or higher pay. According to the World Population Review, Denmark has the highest social mobility index at 85, while the United States has a social mobility index of 70. Countries, such as South Africa, India, Guatemala, and Egypt, have a social mobility index in the 30s and 40s. Growing up in a country with a high social mobility index could instill financial beliefs, such as “You should not tell people how much money you have or make” or “More money will make you happier.” High social mobility could lead to feelings of hope and optimism or feelings of fear and anxiety. Growing up in a country with a low social mobility index on the other hand could instill financial beliefs, such as “Good people should not care about money” or “I will never be able to afford the things I really want in life.” Low social mobility could lead to feelings of content and calmness or feelings of restlessness and sadness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3cea5323-09a9-4031-8dfb-36e8f832ca12/pexels-vlada-karpovich-8528756.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - It is also important to recognize inter-generational social mobility. For example, if your partner’s parents were undocumented immigrants, they likely had to work low paying, manual labor jobs. Today, your partner has graduated high school and is working a stable job with benefits. Your parent’s on the other hand were born and raised in the United States and finished college themselves. You now have a masters degree and are earning more money than your partner. These are both instances of inter-generational upward mobility - both are progress, both are wonderful! Everyone has different starting points. Consider your starting point and your partner’s starting point, and celebrate the progress you have both made. Identify your money scripts using the Klontz Money Script Inventory. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/7860727a-fdfe-4af9-8cd1-22194dabb1fb/pexels-maksgelatin-9929048.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - 5. Individualistic versus Collectivist Cultures North America and Western Europe have predominately individualistic cultures, whereas much of Eastern Asia, Latin America, and parts of Africa have collectivist cultures. Let’s explore the differences of these types of cultures and their impacts on financial beliefs. Individualistic cultures strive to move their self and family forward. While individualists save for and spend on themselves, they are not necessarily greedy or selfish. In fact, many individualists donate time and \ or money to charities. Collectivist cultures work together to elevate the entire community. Some of this is out of necessity - for example, if no one in the community can afford to build a latrine, but everyone’s pulled resources can build a communal latrine, the community unites to build a latrine together. Collectivist cultures do not only pull together out of necessity. This mentality of supporting your neighbors and community extends beyond finances. Explore the upsides and pitfalls of each of these cultural approaches to finances. How could you benefit from adapting some of the mentality of the opposing culture? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8cf55382-c7db-4936-922a-2cc97b669b7b/pexels-ron-lach-9210496.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - 6. Immigration There is much to be said about immigration and financial beliefs. Even if you did not immigrate to the United States but your parents or grandparents did, your financial views have inevitably been shaped by the experience of immigration. The expectations of first generation immigrants are very different than the expectations of second generation immigrants. First generation immigrants face many financial challenges, including lack of access to employment and financial resources (EBT, healthcare, etc.), the responsibility of sending money to family in their country of origin, etc. Depending on immigration status, these financial challenges can take years to overcome. While second generation immigrants oftentimes (but not always) have more educational and professional opportunities than their parents, they tend to feel the pressure of high expectations from their parents. These high expectations can lead to perfectionism and self-criticism as well as feelings of shame, anxiety, and inadequacy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/55360017-0a8e-46bb-9843-09f02988b1f4/pexels-zen-chung-5529011.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - 7. Family Size Historically, people have had many children. However, as healthcare has improved and the infant mortality rate has decreased, people can assume that there is a high likelihood that their children will live into adulthood. Therefore, people are having fewer and fewer children. People also had many children with the expectation that they would work and financially contribute to the family. The number of siblings that you, your parents, or your grandparents have could greatly shape your financial beliefs. For example, growing up in a home with several children could impact the resources accessible to each individual child. Some children may be expected to drop out of school at a young age to work or to take care of other children in the home. Read the United States Department of Agriculture’s The Cost of Raising a Child Learn more about Children in the World through the World Population Review https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d0aafc8b-8910-4ac2-9003-87f0b535b5a2/pexels-tim-samuel-5838911.jpg Blog - 8 Impacts of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Financial Beliefs - 8. Let’s Not Forget - Intersectionality! Finally and so very importantly, the formative experiences of historical events, politics, and immigration on women, children, queer people, and people with disabilities is vastly different than on men. The rights, respect, and responsibilities afforded to women, children, queer people, and people with disabilities varies greatly by country and culture. Knowing how different cultures revere these groups of people can provide helpful context in understanding your and\or your partner’s financial beliefs and behaviors. While it often takes a little more digging, seek personal accounts from women, queer people, people with disabilities, etc. to further know and appreciate the roots of your, your partner’s, and your family members’ financial beliefs. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/10-spooky-and-10-not-so-spooky-financial-facts-to-empower-you monthly 0.5 2024-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/66ecd715-2f60-4467-bf2a-541cb98b52be/pexels-karolina-grabowska-5422595.jpg Blog - 10 Spooky and 10 Not So Spooky Financial Facts To Empower You! - The Real Spooky Financial Facts I don’t know about you, but personally, I am exhausted by all the ‘scary financial facts’ referring to individual credit card and student loan debt, lack of savings, inadequate retirement preparedness, etc, when the real spooky financial facts exist at a much higher (state, federal, global) level. We are made to think that we are entirely the problem when it comes to our financial circumstances and wellbeing. While there is always room for growth in terms of our relationship to money and personal financial management, the systems and structures that we live and work within greatly impact us financially. Recognizing the interconnectedness of our personal finances and government policy helps us to better understand our greater financial picture. My hope in sharing these spooky financial facts is to reduce feelings of financial shame. Also, some of the real spooky financial facts are just for fun, because they are wild! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/15e0f33e-a579-4728-9709-e4b09d5f0ff8/pexels-charles-parker-5859173.jpg Blog - 10 Spooky and 10 Not So Spooky Financial Facts To Empower You! - The Not So Spooky Financial Facts I also want to take a moment to acknowledge all the amazing and beautiful financial facts of the nation and the world. There are, in fact, many. Living in the spooky financial facts alone can feel daunting and leads to a distorted worldview. Being grounded in the reality that there are many spooky financial facts and many not so spooky financial facts will help you to make more well rounded and fully informed decisions. As you read through the spooky and not so spooky, take a moment to notice how the different financial facts make you feel. Ask yourself… ‘How does this financial fact make me feel and why?"‘ ‘Which financial facts am I skeptical of or resistant to and why?’ ‘How does this financial fact change my perspective on myself, the nation, or the world?’ The real reason for the not so spooky financial facts though - I do not do scary well (no haunted houses for me). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/7613979b-1d85-42df-a66a-6ada6e5c52be/pexels-karolina-grabowska-5422601.jpg Blog - 10 Spooky and 10 Not So Spooky Financial Facts To Empower You! - Spooky Government Financial Facts 1. Only 7 states require high school students to take a semester long personal finance course, yet seniors in high school, at just 18 year olds, can open credit cards…spooky! 2. The Trump administration blocked attempts to regulate predatory lending (such as payday loans with triple digit interest rates), which predominately impact low-income people and people of color…spooky! 3. In the past 20 years alone, the national debt has more than tripled to over $35 trillion (that’s $35,000,000,000,000)…sp000000ky! And they have the gall to shame you for $20,000 of credit card debt! Need help conceptualizing a trillion dollars, check out this CBS article 4. The Pregnancy Discrimination Act was only implemented in 1978 and the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) was only implemented in 1993…spooky! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/161b1d17-d1a3-4db2-977c-bfeb47d5650a/pexels-josephine-parra-48865681-15029108.jpg Blog - 10 Spooky and 10 Not So Spooky Financial Facts To Empower You! - Not So Spooky Charitable Giving Financial Facts 1. The Cleveland Clinic has found that charitable giving has health benefits and makes people happier…not so spooky! In what ways do you spend money that brings you happiness? 2. 67% of all Americans donate money, averaging 4% of their total income…not so spooky! What cause would you like to donate to and why? 3. Americans are twice as charitable as Canada and three times more charitable than the UK…not so spooky! 4. The Giving Pledge, created by Bill Gates, Melinda French Gates, and Warren Buffet, is a growing philanthropic community of over 240 billionaires worldwide, who have pledged to donate at least 51% of their wealth to charitable causes. It is estimated that The Giving Pledge has donated over $600 billion to various causes of their choice…not so spooky! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e5161162-d1a9-44ed-8e23-fad385a2b842/pexels-pedro-figueras-202443-626163.jpg Blog - 10 Spooky and 10 Not So Spooky Financial Facts To Empower You! - Spooky Industry Financial Facts 5. According to the CDC, the tobacco industry spends over $8 billion annually on marketing (that is $22.5 million each day, over $1 million an hour). Sounds like a lot? Not to the tobacco industry, that earns over $100 billion dollars in a single year…spooky! 6. The timeshare industry generates over $10 billion of annual revenue (that’s more than Major League Baseball!) through means of intimidation and manipulation…spooky! Check out Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Timeshares For more information on avoiding timeshare scams, read the Federal Trade Commission Consumer Advice’s Timeshares, Vacation Clubs, and Related Scams 7. Major investors are buying residential homes at increasing rates pushing out average home buyers…spooky! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/098ea8d5-16e3-4567-9644-63d78c3278ff/pexels-susan-flores-232226967-14205102.jpg Blog - 10 Spooky and 10 Not So Spooky Financial Facts To Empower You! - Not So Spooky State of the Nation and World Facts 5. In the past 20 years, the number of people living in absolute poverty has been cut in half…not so spooky! 6. Over the past 53 years, the average mortgage rates have been 7.37% - today’s mortgage rates are 6.35%, less than average…not so spooky! 7. Say what you will about the TikTok generation, according to the TransAmerica Center for Retirement Studies, 66% of Gen-Z is already saving for retirement…not so spooky! 8. The average annual stock market return is 10%…not so spooky! Read 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing and How to Address Them to learn more about stock market downfalls and gains throughout history. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/f1d3661e-140f-498f-9563-6a10d76cb52e/pexels-cottonbro-5435562.jpg Blog - 10 Spooky and 10 Not So Spooky Financial Facts To Empower You! - Spooky Education and Healthcare Financial Facts 8. The benefits of a college degree are decreasing as tuition rates rise, often exceeding $100,000 for a four year degree, and two thirds of Americans have some to no confidence in the higher education system…spooky! Explore alternatives, such as technical school, or earning an Associate’s degree at a 2 year school to reduce overall loans 9. As of May 2024, childcare now costs more than housing in all 50 states…spooky! Read more about How Other Nations Pay For Childcare in The New York Times 10. The United States spends more on healthcare costs than any other wealthy country…spooky! Read Never Pay the First Bill by Marshall Allen https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/2cd6c2c1-0194-4951-a357-523ca529af42/pexels-mike-jones-9740474.jpg Blog - 10 Spooky and 10 Not So Spooky Financial Facts To Empower You! - Not So Spooky Women’s Empowerment Financial Facts 9. 33% of the world’s wealth is held by women…not so spooky! 10. According to Kiplinger, 49% of women are the ‘chief financial officer’ of finances in the home and 43% are the primary breadwinner…not so spooky! Bonus fact: According to the Harvard Center for International Development, “women typically reinvest up to 90 percent of their earnings in their families and communities compared to only 30 to 40 percent among men”…amazing! https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/8-steps-to-improving-your-physical-and-financial-health-and-1-important-anti-step monthly 0.5 2024-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/54351345-c2fe-4550-bff2-2bcfd77243a0/pexels-withnhic-2114703.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - A Lifetime of Physical and Financial Health Caring for your physical and financial health and wellbeing is the greatest, most worthwhile gift you could give yourself, as the benefits of improving and tending to your physical and financial health are endless, having a ripple effect throughout your life. Physical and financial health are intricately intertwined and improving your health in one area can improve your health in another. According to Columbia University Irving Medical Center, “even an additional $5,000 per year can give you a measurably longer and healthier life”. With an additional $5,000 of income annually, one can purchase fresh produce instead of junk food or join a gym. Similarly, good physical health can open more job opportunities, increase focus, and minimize sick days or unpaid leave needed for medical attention. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e5347367-eead-42cb-ab72-4542c8e8facd/pexels-kiersten-16037850.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - Challenges to Being Physically and Financially Healthy While there are many benefits to improving physical and financial health, many people struggle to make the change that they desire. According to Gallup, the most common goals that Americans set are personal health or fitness goals (80% of goal setters), and “financial goals are next at 69%.” People consistently recognize the importance of improving their physical and financial health, yet many meet barriers they feel cannot be overcome. The joke - each January the gym fills with ambitious resolution setters, each March the gym is empty - is deeply true. Improving physical and financial health requires ongoing consistency, moderation, discipline and forethought. Working on your physical and financial health for one week is great and probably will not have a long term impact. However, working on your physical and financial health for a year, you will certainly see change! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/7259d662-7098-40be-a7f7-54bf8882a4b1/pexels-cottonbro-7207552.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - 1. Start Today Many young people in particular do not realize the compounding effect that taking care of their physical and financial health will have. Fortunately, schools recognize the importance of physical health, as physical education and health classes are commonplace. Unfortunately, schools do not (yet) provide financial education, so many people do not start taking control of their financial health until they are well into adulthood. Regardless of your age, you will never be younger than you are today! The benefits of starting today will compound throughout your life - you will thank yourself one day. There is always a reason to start tomorrow. Why are you resisting starting today instead? What is one small change you can make to start taking action today? For a quick refresh, watch Investopedia’s What Is Compound Interest? To learn more about the many advantages of improving your physical health, watch the TEDx Power of Fitness by Vincent Lam https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3cf28f0b-c13a-478d-abe6-0924bd79646f/pexels-andres-ayrton-6550875.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - 2. Explore All Components of Physical and Financial Health Physical and financial health are multi-faceted. Physical health includes cardio, muscular, nutrition, sleep, etc. Financial health includes saving, spending, investing, debt, income, etc. All of these facets are interconnected. Just as improving your cardio will help you to sleep better, decreasing your spending will help you to pay down debt. Oftentimes, many small changes can be made across all facets of physical and financial health, ultimately leading to substantial improvements. While some people prefer to focus exclusively on one facet, focusing on all facets (albeit to different degrees depending on your specific circumstances) can lead to faster changes. Being an excellent sleeper (there is such a thing!) is not enough to make you physically healthy. Similarly, being a great saver is not enough to make someone financially healthy, as it is also important to know how to spend money in ways that bring you the most joy. Ask yourself… ‘What aspects of my financial health are strong?’ What aspects of my financial health need improvement? Why?’ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c5675b9b-64f7-4dfd-9459-bc242ec871ba/pexels-pluyar-28403274.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - 3. Set Short-Term and Long-Term Goals Improving your physical and financial health does not happen overnight. You must commit to a lifetime of new habits and a new relationship to your health and wealth. Setting (and celebrating!) short-term and long-term goals can be a helpful step to maintaining motivation. Short-term goals that are specific and attainable will keep you motivated throughout your financial journey! Examples of short term goals… Physical health: Eat one fresh fruit daily Financial health: Create a list of all debts (corresponding interest rates and minimum payments) by Saturday Long-term goals may feel impossible to attain, a lifetime away. Track your long-term goals and set milestones to celebrate along the way. Before you know it, you will see progress. Examples of long term goals and milestones… Physical health: Run a half marathon Milestone: Run a 5k Financial health: Save a downpayment for a house Milestone: Save $10,000 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/db439347-bc24-454c-baca-01c5cdd21ae3/pexels-mart-production-8121740.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - 4. Surround Yourself With Supportive People Our peers greatly influence our physical health as well as our financial health. Simply spending time with people who spend beyond their means will lead to increased spending, whereas spending time with people who are financially conscientious will lead to you being more financially conscientious. People who guilt or exclude you for not spending money in ways that they spend money are not friends. Friends are supportive of your goals to improve your physical and financial health. If the immediate people in your life do not support your goals (or worse, actively discourage you from working towards your goals), you can find people who do. Communicate your goals to your peers and share how you would like them to support you Seek out financial support groups on Facebook, Reddit, etc. Attend Workaholics Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous, etc. to find people with similar goals https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4c5b44c4-0e22-4ac4-9507-decb2d7d159c/pexels-eren-li-7241470.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - 5. Prioritize Rest Days According to Penn Medicine, crash diets do not work. Similarly, no-spend months can lead to increased future impulse spending or revenge spending. Exerting excessive self-control for an entire month is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. When rest days are balanced and intentional, they can further your progress towards meeting your goals. Just as rest days from the gym are necessary for recovery, spending money on things that bring you joy is necessary to remain motivated in your journey to financial wellness. It is important to define the freedoms and limitations of your rest days. Ask yourself… ‘How often would I like a rest day?’ ‘How will I behave differently on a rest day?’ ‘On a rest day, I will not go to the gym.’ ‘On a rest day, I will not look at my bank account.’ ‘What behaviors would I like to maintain on a rest day?’ ‘On a rest day, I will still eat a piece of fruit.’ ‘On a rest day, I will still not online shop.’ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e0d398f1-8cef-4102-aa5d-ac897d418a9c/pexels-yaroslav-shuraev-8691942.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - 6. Consistency is Key We engage with our health every day (moving our bodies, eating, sleeping, etc.) just as we engage with our finances every day (turning the lights on, driving the car, eating groceries, etc.), and improving physical and financial health is slow by nature. Therefore, the healthiest and most sustainable approach to improving your health as well as your finances is gradually and consistently. Weighing yourself or checking your net worth every day will actually be discouraging. Instead, to increase motivation and to remain consistent, track your progress occasionally (quarterly or semiannually for example). In six months, you will notice a difference, a difference that will get you excited to continue your health and wellness journey. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/76fa8f16-396a-4154-bceb-907c6b18fa48/pexels-mikhail-nilov-6740343.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - 7. Seek Professional Support If you find yourself struggling to stay on the path towards financial health and wellness, consider seeking professional support with a Certified Financial Therapist for support with your relationship to money, increasing your financial confidence, and reducing feelings of financial shame. For support along your physical health journey, seek out holistic sports counseling for support with mindset conditioning, processing performance trauma, and navigating transitions such as injury or retirement. To learn more about the many benefits of financial therapy, read Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] Find a Certified Financial Therapist through the Financial Therapy Association https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c87ad5ca-c64c-499c-a9d2-6c8128364715/The-Transtheoretical-Model-of-Intentional-Behaviour-Change-Adapted-from-Pacheco-40.png Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - 8. Give Yourself Grace The most important step on your journey to physical and financial health and wellness is always giving your grace. There will be setbacks. You will fall into old habits. That is okay! Actually, that is more than okay - that is a part of the process. Relapse is one of the stages of change. Through relapse, we learn. Ideally, relapses will become fewer and further between (notice the upward spiral due to learning from relapses). Following a relapse, not all hope is lost! Just because you missed a credit card payment does not mean your credit score will never recover - get back on the path! Read 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! Write financial affirmations for yourself that you can refer back to when you feel discouraged https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8b64823c-576a-453b-b7ad-e6c15febd764/pexels-rpnickson-2526127.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Improving Your Physical and Financial Health [and 1 Important Anti-Step] - *Do Not Compare Comparison is human nature, and looks can be are deceiving. Just as physical appearance is not an accurate indicator of physical health, physical possessions are not an accurate indicator of financial health. Social media allows for curated portrayals of our lives. When the person that you did not even talk to in high school posts a photo in a Tesla, you make many quick assumptions - that they do in fact own this Tesla, that they can afford this Tesla, that they aren’t lying awake at night stressing about the monthly payment, etc. When that same person posts a photo in a swimsuit on the beach, you assume that they did not photoshop the image at all, that they feel comfortable and confident in their swimsuit, that they did not take over 100 photos to find the single photo that they feel okay posting, etc. To combat comparison, try the following… Attempting not to compare yourself at all to others is an unrealistic expectation, so allow for nuance in your comparisons. A lot of shame about physical appearance and financial wellbeing stems from incomplete information. Ask yourself… ‘What information am I missing?’ ‘Am I comparing the beginning of my journey to the middle of someone else’s journey?’ Compare yourself to yourself. All that ultimately matters is that you are improving and that you feel happier and healthier. Through FutureMe, write your future self a letter about where you are physically and financially today, so you can be reminded of your progress. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/7-financial-topics-to-discuss-with-your-aging-parents-a-series-part-2 monthly 0.5 2024-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c259af77-f50f-4713-b73e-9bff4903e06c/pexels-mike-jones-9461762.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - ‘Where Do I Begin?’ You may be wanting to discuss finances with your aging parents but do not know where to begin or what financial topics to discuss. While 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] explains how to prepare for, initiate, and hold a financial conversation with your aging parents, this post will provide you with specific financial topics that you can address with your parents as well as important considerations for each topic. Keep the following financial topic tips in mind when having a conversation with your parents… Take It Easy After reading through the 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents listed below, choose the topic that you feel most comfortable with and that you think your parents will be most receptive to for your first conversation. While this topic may not be the most pressing, it will make future, more challenging conversations easier. If you are still uncertain which topic to begin with, I recommend working through the financial topics in the order that they are written. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/56b5cbe3-9288-449a-9f45-a844decadb7c/pexels-pavel-danilyuk-7429506.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - Less is More You are establishing a routine of ongoing financial conversations with your parents. Therefore, you only need to address one financial topic at a time. Attempting to discuss several financial topics in a single conversation can feel overwhelming for you and your parents. You will have future opportunities to continue the conversation. No Expert Necessary You and your parents do not have to be experts on these financial topics in order to start talking about them. Together, you can ask questions, learn more, and possibly seek out a financial professional when deemed necessary. Decision Free Discussions Not all conversations need to have concrete decisions or answers at the end. Sometimes, the conversation in and of itself is enough. Remember that you do not need to come to any conclusions today. You are simply getting the ball rolling! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/863774a2-61ee-4059-8a27-7d66906e370d/pexels-shvets-production-8899558.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - 1. Retirement Preparedness It can be difficult to gauge your parents’ level of retirement preparedness. Your aging parents may still be working by choice or out of necessity, or they may be fully retired. Do not assume that your parents are financially prepared for retirement, simply because they have not mentioned financial stress or anxiety. Also, do not assume that your parents are not financially prepared for retirement. They may have a pension you never knew about that will cover a significant portion of their retirement! Awareness of their actual preparedness will help you to know what options are available, next steps you can take, and what may be expected of you financially. Ask… ‘Do you feel financially prepared for retirement?’ ‘What sources of income do you or will you have in retirement?’ ‘What financial concerns do you have for retirement?’ ‘How do you imagine your retirement?’ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a65a739a-0245-4d99-b692-9dba8496cc53/pexels-anete-lusina-4792282.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - 2. Physical Location of Information In the event of an emergency, it is important that someone (you, a sibling, a friend, etc.) knows where to physically access important financial information. Important financial information includes usernames and passwords to financial accounts, physical documents (deed to the home, car title, social security card, etc.), contact information (financial advisor, financial power of attorney, etc.), and keys and codes (safety deposit box, safe, etc.). Your parents may or may not have this information already organized. If they do not have this information organized, encourage them to begin this process. To learn more about what specific financial information and documents to include, read the National Institute on Aging’s Getting Your Affairs in Order Checklist: Documents to Prepare for the Future. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ad2c37b0-7b92-4e9f-8f35-558029b0f5d3/pexels-kampus-8871407.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - 3. Identity Theft and Scams While identity theft and financial scams have been around forever, scammers are constantly finding new, creative, and complex ways to target people. In 2023, approximately 50% of people lost money from a financial scam. While seniors are targeted for a number of reasons, including a belief that they have a significant amount of money in their retirement savings, increased trustworthiness and generosity, social isolation, cognitive decline, etc., many people, young and old, are scammed every single day. Normalizing financial scams can help reduce feelings of shame for those who have been scammed. Scammers often use a sense of urgency or emergency situations to propel people to act quickly, without thinking. Encourage your parents to pause whenever anyone asks for money or access to an account. Reassure your parents that you, your siblings, and your children will never ask for money via email or text. Help them to create a plan in the event that they are scammed. Review the Federal Trade Commission’s Consumer Advice on How To Avoid A Scam and What To Do If You Were Scammed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5f6e0434-57eb-4ed1-b00c-63086d9731bf/pexels-lisa-anna-901356985-19846356.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - 4. Long Term Housing There are many housing options for aging adults. Oftentimes, people have a specific vision of or strong preferences for their long term housing, whether or not they have communicated them. Preparing for long term housing - physically, emotionally, and financially - can help to ease the eventual transition for everyone. Explore the following options with your parents… Aging in Place Aging in place (or aging at home) is a common desire. If your parents would like to age in place, start to assess the accessibility of their home. For example, is there a main floor bathroom with a walk in shower (no bathtub)? Is there a ramp up to the front door or several steps? Aging in place requires forethought and planning. These issues can be addressed and a home can be modified. It is better to take these steps now rather than when they become urgent or a necessity. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/60579f01-e0cd-4729-bfa9-01ad055a77f0/pexels-shvets-production-8929195.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - Intergenerational Living Intergenerational living is prevalent in many cultures and similar considerations must be taken to those as aging in place. If you are not open to your parents living with you as they age, gently communicate this as soon as possible, so your parents are aware and can explore alternatives. If you are open to your parents living with you as they age, be sure to express this to them, as many parents do not want to feel like they are a burden to their children. Transparency is key. Independent \ Assisted Living Today, there are many high quality independent and assisted living homes that provide ongoing assistance throughout the many changes that aging brings. The cost of these homes can vary greatly depending on location (city, state), level of care, etc. If your parent would like to live in independent or assisted living, it is worth exploring options now to assess overall affordability and feasibility. Visiting these living facilities well in advance has many benefits: exploring what your parents do and do not like to find the right fit, knowing what to expect in the future, getting expected, etc. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/691cfd7f-6e4d-4714-858e-75e915f3704d/pexels-mikhail-nilov-8729936.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - 5. Financial Power of Attorney A financial power of attorney is a person who will make financial decisions on your parents’ behalf, if they are incapacitated or have given up their decision making rights. A financial power of attorney may never need to go into effect for your parents; however, in the event that a financial power of attorney does go into effect, it is helpful for you to know who will be responsible for financial decisions as well as the specific responsibilities included in the financial power of attorney. If you are the financial power of attorney, ask your parents… ‘What specific financial responsibilities are included in the power of attorney?” 'Can I have a digital copy of the power of attorney?’ If someone else is the financial power of attorney, ask your parents… ‘Do you trust this person?’ ‘Is this person responsible and organized?’ For a detailed explanation of financial power of attorneys, read FreeWill’s What Is A Financial Power of Attorney?. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/58884355-367e-4f71-8faf-df5990829b26/pexels-kampus-8439686.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - 6. Last Will and Testament A will indicates who will receive your assets after you die. If your parents do not have a will, their state’s intestate succession laws will dictate who their money will go to upon their death. Additionally, in order for the state’s intestate succession laws to be enacted, you will have to go to probate court to settle the assets, and there is a cost associated with probate court. Therefore, by writing a will, your parents can be proactive, saving you and your siblings significant time and money. Ask your parents if they have indicated beneficiaries on all of their savings, retirement, and investment accounts. If your parents have not yet created a will or established financial power of attorneys, encourage them to do so for free at FreeWill or with an attorney. Learn more about the differences between wills and trusts to determine if a trust is right for you or your parents with NerdWallet’s Will vs Trust: What Do You Need? Cost, Process, and Uses Review TRW Law’s 25 Steps to Estate Planning If your parents do not believe that they have any assets to leave behind, inform them that cars, pets, sentimental items, etc. can be included in a will and help to prevent familial conflict. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3ca83564-de2f-4210-8615-673663127678/pexels-rollz-19995467.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Topics to Discuss with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 2] - 7. Long Term Care Insurance Long term care insurance helps to pay for, well, long term care, such as assisted living, memory care, hospice care, occupational therapy, physical therapy, home healthcare, etc. Not everyone has or needs long term care insurance. Some people can afford to fully finance long term care in the future if needed. However, many people cannot. Like any insurance, your parents may or may not ever need to use their long term care insurance, and long term care insurance can be expensive, but so can health care bills. Having long term care insurance may be worthwhile, as life has many unexpecteds, especially while aging. Learn more about the pros and cons of long term care insurance at Ramsey Solutions to determine if long term care insurance is the right choice for your parents. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/money-talk-how-to-suggest-financial-therapy-to-a-loved-one-part-i monthly 0.5 2024-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3525c395-d685-4d80-9d99-7080708eb6a0/pexels-cristian-rojas-8880154.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - Financial Therapy: An Act of Love The most common response I receive when people find out that I am a financial therapist is “I need that!”, “My partner\sibling\parent\child needs that!”, or even “Everyone needs that!”. While many people can think of at least one other person that could benefit from financial therapy, few actually suggest or recommend financial therapy to a loved one, as money is typically a sensitive subject. Remember, caring about the mental health and wellness of a partner is an act of love. Providing support and encouragement to a friend is an act of love, and suggesting financial therapy to a family member is an act of love. The first step in suggesting financial therapy to a loved one is preparation - having a thorough understanding of financial therapy (what it is and is not, who can benefit from it and how, etc.). This knowledge will be helpful in fielding questions from your loved one and will ultimately enable you to have a more constructive conversation. Let’s take a look at the most common questions about financial therapy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/45e677c8-a130-4ea4-91f1-41ca8d83621b/pexels-cottonbro-6941123.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 1. What is Financial Therapy? Financial therapy stems from the idea that money is about more than just numbers and math. In the world of financial therapy, money is not purely logical. If money were purely logical, we would all have zero credit card debt, ample emergency savings, and robust retirement accounts. If money were purely logical, we would all spend money confidently and comfortably. If money were purely logical, the 56% of Americans who lose sleep thinking about money would be getting eight blissful hours of rest a night. However, this is simply not the case, because money is deeply emotional. We all have a unique relationship to money that evolves from a number of places, including our upbringing, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, ability, generation, family structure, etc. Financial therapy gives individuals and couples the opportunity to explore and transform their relationship to and beliefs about money. Financial therapy helps people to feel less stressed and more confident and in control of their personal finances. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c35e9fe6-84d7-4f0c-97aa-1e9051ac3d8a/pexels-kindelmedia-7298444.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 2. How is Financial Therapy Different from Traditional Therapy? While traditional mental health therapy focuses on many aspects of your life, financial therapy is a space dedicated to improving your relationship to money and enhancing your financial health and wellbeing. Just as you may seek out a mental health therapist who specializes in chronic pain to address the impact of fibromyalgia on your mental health, you may seek out a financial therapist to address the impact of retirement planning on your mental health. While financial therapists delve into many aspects of life, including upbringing, relevant traumas, impactful relationships, etc., they do so with the purpose of exploring and understanding how these situations and people have impacted your beliefs and feelings about money. Similar to traditional mental health therapists, financial therapists use many different modalities, such as Solution Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Narrative Therapy, etc., and lenses, such as feminist financial therapy, systemic financial therapy, etc. in their work. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c343e6eb-db99-4d46-b00f-19a33eca89f2/pexels-kindelmedia-7979437.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 3. How is Financial Therapy Different from Financial Advising? While financial advisors often take full control of your money and make financial recommendations and decisions on your behalf, financial therapists cannot legally provide financial advice. The role of a financial therapist is not to tell you how to manage your money rather to help you better understand your relationship to money and empower you to confidently manage your own money. Some financial therapists do provide financial education. Financial education is distinct from financial advising in that financial education empowers you to make your own decisions. For example, financial education may consist of an explanation of Roth IRAs and Traditional IRAs as well as the pros and cons of each. Financial therapists may use financial education and provide you with resources in an effort to help you feel more empowered in your financial decision making. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/bcb9e7b4-8c63-42a2-9b12-d88b8fb0e657/pexels-timur-weber-8559952.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 4. Who can Benefit from Financial Therapy? A common misconception is that financial therapy is only for people in debt. In actuality, financial shame, anxiety, guilt, envy, entitlement, etc. do not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, age, gender, sexuality, ability, etc., and people of all socioeconomic statuses can benefit from financial therapy. I personally believe that everyone can benefit from financial therapy. At least, everyone in the United States (do not get me started on the impacts of capitalism, consumerism, lack of access to affordable healthcare, etc. on our mental health). Here are a few reasons people may seek financial therapy… Feelings of guilt and overwhelm regarding receiving a large inheritance Feelings of fear of not having enough money Feelings of disconnectedness from and inferiority to peers due to different income level Feelings of avoidance and confusion due to lack of financial education Disagreement with partner about how to merge finances Disagreement with partner about how to support adult children financially Breach of financial trust with a partner https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e977a862-c687-4374-a285-194817199eaf/pexels-mizunokozuki-12911631.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 5. What are the Benefits of Financial Therapy? Similar to traditional mental health therapy, financial therapy has many short term and long term benefits. Financial therapy can help you to… Break long-standing financial habits and develop healthy financial habits Reduce financial anxiety and stress Decrease feelings of financial shame Increase confidence in financial decision making Create a financial path forward Change intergenerational money scripts Identify and establish financial boundaries Effectively communicate about money with a partner, friend, or family member Financial stress is related to higher levels of psychological distress, which is associated with adverse health outcomes, such as reduced immune response, heart disease, and increased mortality. Therefore, the benefits of financial therapy are endless as our financial, mental, and physical health are all intricately intertwined. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3d097f31-8d9c-419c-8b63-9eec663fd052/pexels-ron-lach-8243155.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 6. How Long Does Someone Need Financial Therapy To See Results? There is no concrete answer to this question, as everyone starts in a different place and moves at their own pace along a unique path. In my experience as a Certified Financial Therapist, people make great strides relatively quickly. I believe that by the time people have sought out financial therapy they are ready to do the difficult emotional work that is required to make sustainable behavioral change. I also believe that people make these great strides relatively quickly because for many people this is the first time that they have ever said out loud “My wife does not know that we have $40,000 of credit card debt, and I am afraid she will leave me if I tell her” or “My parents spent money on themselves - new cars, clothes, and vacations - but they did not buy me birthday presents” or “I constantly feel financial shame.” Simply by releasing these words, the healing process can begin. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d27adff8-5714-4906-9049-725afd6a0bb9/pexels-mehmetalituran-7493445.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 7. What Can I Expect From A Financial Therapy Session and From My Financial Therapist? While every financial therapist works differently, you can expect a space where you will not be shamed for your past, present, or future financial circumstances. You can expect to be met with empathy, respect, and curiosity. You can expect to be validated and challenged. You can expect to be surprised by yourself as you peel back the layers of your relationship to money. Some people share spreadsheets while others never talk about specific numbers. Some people request ‘homework’, such as concrete tasks or book recommendations, while others prefer to do activities together during appointments. In financial therapy, there is no right or wrong - there is what works best for you in collaboration with your financial therapist. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ba13beaf-6da1-435b-933f-6ad414b0e300/pexels-miriam-alonso-7623729.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 8. What is Expected of Me in Financial Therapy? Financial therapy will require vulnerability and introspection on your part as well as open-mindness and a willingness to change. Financial therapy also requires honesty and transparency, as it is difficult to help someone who is not being fully honest. Finally, financial therapy requires ongoing thoughtfulness and mindfulness both in and outside appointments. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/08b64b14-1281-4862-945b-a9fa2bf910aa/pexels-zen-chung-5749118.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 9. How Do I Find and Choose a Financial Therapist? You can find a financial therapist by Googling “Financial therapist near me” or “Financial therapy [insert city or state name]”. You can also search the Financial Therapy Association (FTA) directory. Most financial therapists offer a free brief consultation or introductory call to answer any questions that you may have and to ensure that you are a good fit. The consultation call is an excellent opportunity to determine if you would like to schedule an initial appointment. If you have never done a phone consultation before, check out MyWellbeing’s 7 Tips To Make The Most Of Your Phone Consultation. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8f4d34a3-c440-4930-b5a8-b56c9b656eda/pexels-ron-lach-9594693.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 10. How Much Does Financial Therapy Cost? If a financial therapist does not list their rates on their website or disclose them in the consultation call, this is an excellent question to ask, as the cost of financial therapy will vary based on a number of factors, including therapist experience, cost of living in geographic location, etc. According to the New York Times, financial therapy ranges from $100 to $800 per appointment - a huge range! For some people, this question can feel uncomfortable to ask. Remember, this is the first of many conversations about money that you and your financial therapist will be having! A financial therapist understands that cost is a factor in your decision making process and does not (and should not) expect you to commit before knowing the cost. If the cost of financial therapy seems out of reach, consider the following question… https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/1a51ac3d-ca04-48b9-b546-b465f9bcaa63/pexels-leeloothefirst-7163942.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 11. Do you accept insurance for financial therapy or offer a sliding scale rate? Some financial therapists accept insurance and \ or offer sliding scale rates while others do not. Whether or not a financial therapist accepts insurance depends on licensure type, state of licensure, and personal preference. Excellent follow up questions to ask include… “Can you provide me with a super bill at the end of the month that I can submit to my insurance for reimbursement with an out of network provider?” The reimbursement rate will vary depending on your coverage. You can also ask for the CPT code, so your insurance can provide the most specific and accurate reimbursement rate. “How do you determine if someone qualifies for a sliding scale rate?” Mental health therapists have different methods to determine who meets their sliding scale criteria. Financial therapists know that income is just a small piece of one’s financial picture and may take into account a variety of factors in determining who qualifies for sliding scale. *Bear in mind, waitlists can be longer for sliding scale spots as they are often limited. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/1f8520e4-0354-4912-9f32-fa3bbaee8381/1689191301Financial-Therapy.jpg Blog - Money Talk: How To Suggest Financial Therapy To A Loved One [Part I] - 12. What Qualifications Do Financial Therapists Have? At this time, there is no legal requirement to becoming or regulating body that oversees all financial therapists. Therefore, unfortunately, any therapist can claim to be a financial therapist. However, several organizations provide specific training and education for financial therapists. The Financial Therapy Association (FTA) offers a credentialing process to become a Certified Financial Therapist (CFT) and requires CFTs to complete ongoing education to maintain their certification. The Center for Financial Social Work offers a Certified Financial Social Worker program, and Trauma of Money offers a professional certification route within their 18 week program. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/5-reasons-not-to-budget-and-5-budget-alternatives-not-budget-variations monthly 0.5 2024-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/7a33ce41-2c8c-41f6-86dc-bb7634035968/pexels-mikhail-nilov-6963846.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - Budgets, Budgets, Budgets We live in a budget-centric society, where budgeting is championed as the solution to all our problems. We download apps named Goodbudget and You Need A Budget. We (falsely) believe that, if we can just make the budget work, all of our financial problems will disappear, so we Google… What is the best type of budget? How to create a budget? How to stick to a budget? Why is budgeting not working for me? Why do I struggle to budget? Agonizing over Excel spreadsheets and downloading the latest budgeting apps, we feel guilt, shame, stress, and overwhelm. Our financial problems persist yet we return to our budget. It must be the answer. After all, we have never been told that true budgeting alternatives exist, and even if we think to Google budget alternatives, we find Zero-Based Budgeting, Reverse Budgeting, Envelope Budgeting, etc. - hardly budget alternatives! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/408bc188-936e-465b-9f81-c33d143d0089/pexels-southstore-design-1197629-2280620.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - I Hate Broccoli. If you told your primary care provider that you hate broccoli and that every time you even look at broccoli you feel disgusted, what would they tell you? To eat broccoli every day for the rest of your life? Absolutely not! I am not a medical professional by any means; however, I bet that your doctor would say something along the lines of ‘There are so many other nutrient dense foods that can get you the vitamin C, K and A that you need! Try brussel sprouts, asparagus, or sweet potatoes (yes, even sweet potatoes have almost the same nutritional value as broccoli!).’ Why force yourself to eat broccoli when you can live healthily without it? Despite what society tells us, budgeting is one way, not the only way, to tend to our financial health. Budgeting is broccoli. Just as we all have different taste buds, we also have different financial management preferences. Broccoli and budgeting are not for everyone. Some people love (and I mean, love) their budgeting spreadsheets, but budgeting does not suit the vast majority of people. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c666c267-a1d2-49e0-bd7a-f09b8c39f01d/pexels-pixabay-262438.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 1. Budgets are Hypothetical Throwing Darts in the Dark More often than not, budgets are completely arbitrary, based on nothing more than simple projections or estimates, ultimately setting people up for feelings of failure, shame, and inadequacy. Budgets attempt to limit spending in various categories using these projections - the key word here is attempt. The problem is that budgets are future-oriented, and humans are notoriously bad at predicting the future. Budgets do not account for the many unexpecteds of life. A check engine light on your dashboard. Impromptu happy hour with friends. Of course, your budget does not work - it is not real and life happens. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/606b0b3a-8695-44fe-a20f-f2b19dad1de1/istockphoto-182721794-612x612.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 2. Budgets are Time Intensive Time > Money In order to account for monthly variances, you must recreate and update your budget every. single. month. After all, how can a 28 day February budget be used in March? How can a budget for a holiday, birthday, and vacation filled month be used in a mundane month? They cannot! Your time is valuable. You have 24 hours in a day. If you work 8 hours and sleep 8 hours, you have 8 hours to eat, shower, commute, exercise, socialize, decompress, run errands, etc. The amount of time and emotional energy spent budgeting could most certainly be better spent with friends, family, baking, gardening, etc. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/f0048e37-23a4-44d3-8df2-de8dfa5c9562/pexels-pixabay-434446.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 3. Budgets are Over Complicated Which Way is Up? Most budgets have tens of line items, separating out how much is spent in every possible category of life. And for what? Do you really need to plan to spend $15 at mini golf this month? The answer is no. What ultimately matters is that you feel financially safe and secure, are working towards achieving your financial goals, and are improving your overall financial health and wellness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/82e2e9ea-a183-4624-b751-310249e75953/pexels-cristian-rojas-8838074.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 4. Budgets are Constrictive No Breathing Room The intention of budgets is to limit, to constrict. Budgets require you to say ‘no’ instead of freeing you to say ‘yes!’. With budgets, there is often little to no wiggle room - once you have hit your dining limit, you must stop eating out otherwise the budget will not work…again. The constrictive nature of budgets can feel sad, hopeless, and stressful. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/1989395b-7fed-4cd6-a146-4ea15dc0054e/pexels-kseniachernaya-4740575.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 5. Budgets are Forever A Band-Aid, Not a Cure Budgeting is inherently short-term, completed on a month to month basis. Tediously looking at and stressing over a budget every month forever sounds exhausting. Most people budget for years and years and years. That could be hundreds of months of budgeting! Budgeting does not address the root of your financial behaviors or allow you to live freely within your means. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/30fccdc2-d00d-4179-96bb-3d439bac8f87/pexels-introspectivedsgn-4273288.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 1. Automated Finances To automate finances, start by identifying your short and long term goals. Open a savings account for each goal - you can have as many checking and savings accounts as you want! A savings account for a trip to Taiwan next year, a savings account for a newly used car in three years, a savings account for a future home downpayment. Then, work backwards - calculating how much money you need to set aside each month to achieve your goals. Next, through your employer’s portal or HR, you can indicate how much money you would like to be automatically deducted from your paycheck and deposited into each savings account. You can also automate your retirement contributions and any debt payments. Now the fun begins! All of the remaining money that hits your bank account is meant to be spent. Once you have paid your necessities, how you spend the rest is up to you. Want to spend $150 on Nikes? Go for it! Want to spend $125 on Bad Bunny tickets? Vale! You can now enjoy spending while simultaneously working towards achieving your goals. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/9f4e0aef-b12e-42a9-ab8b-6c2a1e4ee0ad/pexels-steve-16375120.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 2. Intuitive Finances Intuitive finances starts with manually tracking your income and expenses for two months (just two months) every year. Tracking your income and expenses will give you actual data (as opposed to projections) and will open your eyes to your spending and savings habits. Paying attention to your habits during these two months will help you to act more intuitively throughout the year. The remaining ten months, you can live intuitively - not budgeting or tracking, simply enjoying. Through intuitive finances, you will be able to live more freely and enjoy life, without scrutinizing over every expense. *Do not forget to track your income and expenses annually, as there can be changes in your income and habits as well as inflation or deflation. If you do not yet trust yourself to practice intuitive finances, alternate tracking your income and expenses and living intuitively every month or two months. As you increase confidence in yourself, you can gradually extend the amount of time that you are living intuitively. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6964eb6d-aaf5-4894-b80c-f80398d9ab95/pexels-anna-pou-8330249.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 3. Categorized Finances If you hate budgeting but are still really attached to the idea of budgeting, you can try categorizing finances. Start categorizing finances by looking at your past three months of expenses. Again, data is always better than projections. Start by categorizing expenses into five (or six) different buckets: Housing, Transportation, Food, Recreation, Savings \ Investing, (and Kids). Looking at fewer, larger categories helps you to make more significant financial changes. By categorizing expenses, you no longer need to nitpick over each little expense, as people often do with budgets. By looking at broader categories, you have more useful information. For example, the most you can save on a $15 Netflix subscription is $15. However, if you notice that you spend $1,600 a month on food, you of course cannot save $1,600 as you do need to eat, but you may be able to save $300, which is a lot more than $15! Consider quickly categorizing your finances at the end of each month or every so often to monitor your progress. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6c17280f-05f2-4670-bd4f-8d74bef97c59/pexels-noon-26180147.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 4. Dual Income Finances If you have joint finances with a partner, attempt to live exclusively on one income. If one partner’s income can cover all major expenses (housing, food, transportation, utilities, insurance, recreation, student loan payments, etc.), the other partner’s income can be used exclusively for savings, retirement, and vacations. Depending on feasibly, you may choose to live off the larger or smaller income. Regardless, you will be saving a significant amount of money. The clear cut nature of dual income finances helps you to live within your means. The major advantage of this method is that, if one partner loses their job unexpectedly, while you will temporarily not be saving or investing money, you will be able to manage all of your expenses based on a single income. What peace of mind! If you do not have joint finances but you work two jobs, you can create your own dual income finances by living off one income and saving and contributing to your retirement with the other income. Read The Two Income Trap by Elizabeth Warren (the Elizabeth Warren) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4b53041d-81c1-4815-b78a-5fb33ef1a646/pexels-taryn-elliott-4426555.jpg Blog - 5 Reasons NOT to Budget AND 5 Budget Alternatives [Not Budget Variations] - 5. Therapeutic Finances If none of these options feel good to you or if you want to improve your relationship to spending, saving, investing, debt, retirement, etc., consider therapeutic finances. Through therapeutic finances, you will gain insights into your financial habits and financial decision-making, which will ultimately improve your financial health and well-being. To start your journey to financial wellness… Follow Certified Financial Therapist Aja Evans and pre-order her book Feel Good Finance: Untangle Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being Listen to Certified Financial Therapist Lindsay Bryan-Podvin’s Mind Money Balance podcast Participate in a Money Relationship Makeover with Certified Financial Therapist Haylie Castillo Start working with a Certified Financial Therapist today! https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/25-transformative-money-affirmations-manifest-that-a-series-part-iii monthly 0.5 2024-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c8cbd2c1-58b9-4a9b-943a-a1207308f44c/pexels-sam-lion-6001183.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Financial Worthiness Affirmations Financial worthiness affirmations address your inherent value. Everyone is worthy of financial safety and stability just for being. Everyone. If you have tens of thousands of credit card debt, you deserve financial safety and stability. If you spent all of your grandmother’s inheritance, you deserve financial safety and stability. If you are paying back student loans for an incomplete college education, you deserve financial safety and stability. As you create financial worthiness affirmations, treat yourself with kindness and gentleness as you would others. Avoid blaming yourself entirely for your financial mistakes while solely attributing your financial successes to luck or external factors. Use the following resources to support you in creating your financial worthiness affirmations… Listen to Dr. Adia Gooden’s TedxTalk Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth Read all about love by bell hooks https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/f67d27f0-2bf2-4997-95c9-ecbe11e5cf4f/pexels-kindelmedia-8550071.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Templates I deserve and am worthy of financial stability and improved financial wellbeing. This may require some changes or sacrifices, and I am willing and wanting to put my mental health first. I have compassion for my financial circumstances in the way I have compassion for the financial circumstances of others. I am worthy of receiving an inheritance even though I may not have earned the money myself. An inheritance is a gift, a privilege, and an act of love. I deserve to not only shop for sales. I can and should spend money on quality purchases that enhance my life and wellbeing. I make financial decisions for me (and my partner | family), not for others. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c9d45617-84c6-4910-8808-dfccd0f437b3/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4308051.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Savings Affirmations Saving and investing money for the future is an act of self-love and, like all things in life, requires balance. Not saving or investing enough money can lead to intense feelings of hopelessness and worry, while saving and investing too much money (yes, I did say saving and investing too much money) can lead to intense feelings of anxiety. Creating a healthy relationship to saving and investing is essential to achieving your personal and financial goals and to sleeping soundly. Use the following reflections to inform your savings affirmations… In what ways is your relationship to saving and investing healthy? In what ways is your relationship to saving and investing unhealthy? What would you ideally like your relationship to saving and investing look like? What is one small step that you can take to achieving this? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6adf92a2-e4ad-4a80-8b5e-17b29842e82a/pexels-tima-miroshnichenko-6693648.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Templates I am increasing my savings by increasing my income and maintaining my expenses. I am increasing my savings by maintaining my income and decreasing my expenses. I will prioritize myself by automating savings from my paycheck. I will open multiple savings accounts to save for various goals. I will open my primary savings account in a separate bank than my checking account, so I am not tempted to spend my savings. Even though I strongly prefer to save and invest, I am going to reduce my contributions to my savings, so I can enjoy more of life today. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c4fb99b1-fc33-40a5-9c02-9f31b2db9201/pexels-kristenmunk-3072443.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Journey Affirmations Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said “Life is a journey. Not a destination.” Finances are also a journey, not a destination. Your financial journey is unique to you and may require you to cross rivers through endless switchbacks, while someone else’s financial journey may require them to boulder overhangs. Inevitably, you will both rest. You will both encounter unexpected trials. You will both reevaluate and change course. You will both find your way. Use the following reflections to inform your financial journey affirmations… Think about the first twists and turns you experienced in your financial journey, 100 miles ago. Think about the peaks, valleys, and plateaus of your financial journey. When have you felt most confident in your financial decision making and financial planning? How have you overcome financial setbacks? Who can emotionally support and encourage you through financial difficulties in the future? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/cf837e9c-4445-4335-a7c6-8cd388e04a59/pexels-rickyrecap-3041347.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Templates I will try different ways of engaging with money in an effort to see different outcomes. I will brainstorm gray areas. I don’t need to operate in the extremes. Gray areas lead to long term, sustainable change. When setbacks arise, they may temporarily slow me down, but I won’t let them stop me from achieving my financial goals. My financial journey is just as much about addressing my feelings as it is about paying down my debt. I will calculate my net worth twice a year to track my progress. I will also use this time to reflect on my behaviors and to reassess my goals. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/838b9556-243a-480a-9052-8532f8c2a46a/pexels-shkrabaanthony-5486155.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Spending Affirmations Similar to saving and investing money, spending money can be an act of self-love and also requires balance. How we do and do not spend our money reflects our values and priorities. Use the following activities to inform your spending affirmations… Create a list of your top 5 values. Next to each value write down 3 ways you do or do not spend money to reflect these values. How can you spend money differently to better reflect these values? Print your credit card statement from last month. Highlight in blue all of the charges that align with your values and in yellow all of the charges that do not. What do you notice about your spending? Use the following resources to inform your spending affirmations… Read Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton Listen to 50 Fires: Money and Meaning with Carl Richards https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/2d163331-319d-4080-b53b-68933f705021/pexels-shkrabaanthony-5264903.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Templates I do not spend money on ‘nice things’ and that does not make me superior to others. I do spend money on ‘nice things’ and that does not make me superior to others. I cannot afford the car I want right now, and one day, with planning, I will be able to. I am going to donate 5% of my income to a cause that is meaningful to me. I am proud of myself for paying for my vacation in full and not charging it on my credit card. I will spend my money thoughtfully and purposefully. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3c3018a9-5e64-4cc4-926b-8af5d2c15f9d/pexels-mikhail-nilov-7887655.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Family and Friend Affirmations Our family and friends influence us in a myriad of ways, just as we influence our family and friends in a myriad of ways. Making changes (financial or otherwise) among family and friends can be challenging, as oftentimes the people that have known us the longest expect us to remain the same. The same as ever. Avoid letting the pushback that you may receive from family and friends prevent you from making the financial changes that you have been wanting and needing to make for yourself. Use the following resources to inform your family and friend affirmations… Read 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries Read 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6d25a4fb-94e6-44d8-966e-ca242853cc9b/pexels-shotpot-7705362.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part III] - Templates True friendships and relationships are not based on the amount of money I spend on them. I want to share my financial journey with friends and family I trust, so they can support and encourage me along the way. I do not have to do this alone. I am being conscientious about the financial lessons I am teaching my children. I am being conscientious about the financial discussions that I am having in front of my children. I want to change my financial circumstances, so I can help my my parents retire in the future. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/10-common-questions-about-financial-infidelity-answered monthly 0.5 2024-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d116447c-313d-49b2-8fd4-9b6d6805a39f/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-5055453.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 1. What is Financial Infidelity? Similar to emotional infidelity or sexual infidelity, financial infidelity involves lying about or purposefully withholding information regarding your personal finances from your partner. Financial infidelity can take many forms, including stealth spending (or secretive spending), lying about your income, hiding money from your partner, and opening credit cards without your partner’s knowledge. Historically, specific adulterous behaviors were universally agreed upon. Today, specific adulterous behaviors vary greatly from relationship to relationship. For example, in modern history, having sex with a person outside of a relationship was considered infidelity. However, today polycules and open relationships mean that having sex with a person outside the relationship is not necessarily considered infidelity. Therefore, the specific behaviors that are considered financial infidelity are defined by you and your partner. As partners, you are engaging in a mutually agreed upon social contract. Ultimately, breaches to that contract are considered infidelity. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c5bd8b03-1907-48c1-be95-161f40a8d0a9/pexels-ivan-samkov-7671362.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 2. Is Financial Infidelity Financial Abuse? Just as sexual infidelity is distinct from sexual abuse, financial infidelity and financial abuse are also distinct. Financially abusive behaviors are, by definition, intentionally used to control, intimidate, manipulate, threaten, and harm another person. While sexual, physical, and verbal abuse are more commonly known than financial abuse, financial abuse is present in 99% of relationships with domestic violence and has significant implications, often trapping victims\survivors in a relationship. Without access to bank accounts, a source of income, or lines of credit, leaving an abuser can feel impossible, especially with children. Additionally, a ruined credit score can make it difficult to obtain housing and employment for years to come. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a4c8a712-baae-49a1-90cb-f9d42e83a1d9/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4757887.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - Below is a list of signs of financial abuse. If you are or may be experiencing financial abuse, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for free and confidential support 24/7. Your partner… Forces or coerces you to apply for a credit card or loan Accrues debt in your name, ruining your credit score Limits access to your bank account, credit cards, etc. Controls your income Controls your spending through an allowance or requiring you to ask permission to spend Forces or coerces you into signing a power of attorney Threatens you based on your spending Prohibits you from working Harasses you at your place of employment https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c565ef28-b57c-45bc-a769-d761318792f4/pexels-ivan-samkov-8962876.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - Nuances of Financial Infidelity and Financial Abuse Some behaviors, such as hiding income, spending, assets, or debt, may be considered financial abuse or financial infidelity, depending on the circumstances, intention, and relationship. Let’s take a closer look… Your partner feels overwhelmed and depressed due to ongoing work stressors. In an effort to protect them from financial stressors, you open a credit card, which you intend to pay off next month. Your partner will never need to know about the credit card. Next month, your car needs an unexpected repair. Instead of paying off the credit card, you charge an additional $2,000. The cycle continues as more and more debt accrues. Your partner takes your credit card from your wallet without your consent. They max out the credit card, never making a single payment. Your credit score drops. Your partner does not allow you to work, so you have no means to pay the credit card off yourself. In the first scenario, you may have (albeit initially unintentionally) committed financial infidelity - again, depending on the social contract you and your partner have agreed upon. In the second scenario, control, harm, and manipulation indicate financial abuse is present. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/02c3a925-d5f2-4314-96e8-a6109aa9b8a4/pexels-mart-production-7328474.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 3. How Common is Financial Infidelity? According to Kiplinger, 42% of US adults have committed financial infidelity. Additionally, 64% of people living with a partner admit to hiding a purchase. Financial infidelity is becoming a buzz word. The Wall Street Journal even posted an article about stealth spending recently. So, why now? Financial infidelity and stealth spending is easier than ever! While financial infidelity has existed for many years, modern day technology as well as an increase in women’s rights has contributed to an increase in financial infidelity. Technology has arguably made every type of infidelity easier. At the tap of a screen, people can open secret bank accounts with paperless statements sent to a secret email. It’s as simple as that! Additionally, according to the Department of Labor, 55% of women participate in the labor force today as opposed to 30% in 1948, and until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA) passed in 1974, women could not open their own bank account or a credit card. Therefore, approximately half of the population could not commit financial infidelity even if they wanted to. Today, anyone can commit financial infidelity at any time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a1b7162b-611a-4c25-a7e6-00fa944af208/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4746717.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 4. Is Financial Infidelity a Crime? Financial infidelity is not illegal and is not criminally prosecutable. While financial infidelity in and of itself is not a crime, certain adulterous financial behaviors may be criminal. For example, opening a credit card in your partner’s name without their consent is illegal, as it constitutes as credit card fraud. If you believe that you are a victim of a financial crime, contact a lawyer for further consultation. 5. Is Financial Infidelity Cause for Divorce? Financial infidelity is considered grounds for divorce in all states (both at fault states and no fault states). The decision to get divorced due to financial infidelity is yours and yours only. Some want to try to work through the infidelity and hope to rebuild trust, while others feel the damage is too great and the relationship is irreparable. Only you know what is best for you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/9a28ad10-f96b-45f2-80e9-6b066ff6b9cf/pexels-rdne-5637806.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 6. Why Do People Commit Financial Infidelity? There are any number of feelings that cause people to commit financial infidelity, including… Feelings of guilt, shame, and fear of judgement about spending behaviors or money management Feelings of avoidance - not wanting to have yet another financial conflict Feelings of entitlement and deservingness due to overwhelm and stress from “working hard” Feeling out of control in the relationship or other areas of life and grasping for financial control or independence and autonomy Feelings of inadequacy and inferiority due to having more debt and a lower income than their partner Feelings of frustration due to not being in agreement about financial goals There is no one reason for financial infidelity. The list goes on and on. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/86051fd9-c4ac-461e-8fd4-847c49ec35ec/pexels-olia-danilevich-8524961.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 7. How to Cope or Deal With Financial Infidelity? First and foremost, if you have experienced financial infidelity, do not minimize your feelings. Financial infidelity is infidelity, and infidelity can lead to feelings of betrayal, insecurity, confusion, anger, and more. 54% of Americans say that financial infidelity is equivalent to other types of infidelity (some even say that financial infidelity is far worse!). Your feelings are valid, and you will like pass through a range of emotions. When you find out about financial infidelity, you do not have to make any rash decisions about your relationship. You may vacillate between wanting to end the relationship right now and wanting to work on rebuilding trust. Many instances of financial infidelity will not require immediate action. If possible, take a step back from the relationship. Taking a step back can range from taking a day to yourself or with a close friend or putting a pause on the relationship for a couple weeks. Use this time to reflect and gain clarity about your path forward. If your specific situation requires immediate action, particularly legally or to protect yourself financially, do not hesitate to contact a lawyer or financial advisor to support you through the process. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0b3e7861-081c-4156-aae4-83e16d14435f/pexels-william-fortunato-6392955.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 8. How to Overcome Financial Infidelity in a Relationship? Overcoming financial infidelity does not happen overnight. Consequences of financial infidelity are two fold: financial and fidelity. Financial infidelity can (although certainly not always) create significant financial problems (namely, debt) for a couple. Some must decide whether they are going to commit to years of paying off debt that they never accrued, while others may be grappling with the betrayal and ruptured trust despite minimal or no financial implications. If you are going to try to overcome financial infidelity in your relationship, ask yourself… What information do I need from my partner to better understand the infidelity and to heal? What do I need from my partner in order to rebuild trust? Do I truly believe that my partner is capable of making and wanting to make these changes? Am I truly open to trying to rebuild trust? What are my financial boundaries moving forward? Consider working with an individual and couples therapist or a certified financial therapist to work on repairing and rebuilding trust in your relationship. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0753c766-6690-4973-94b3-91dae2bf3010/pexels-ron-lach-9584940.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 9. How to Overcome Residual Feelings from Financial Infidelity with a Former Partner? If you experienced financial infidelity in a former relationship, you may struggle to build financial trust in future relationships. Holding onto distrust is a protective mechanism and, to a certain extent, is good. However, do not let your fear of financial infidelity impede your ability to build a relationship with a new partner. Pay attention to how financial infidelity from your former relationship is impacting your ability to trust in your new relationship. Differentiate your former partner from your new partner, and avoid projecting feelings of distrust, anger, suspicion, etc. onto your new partner. Remember, this is an entirely different person. Be gentle with yourself. Overcoming financial infidelity is not easy and may take time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/988b6f46-8c09-4021-826e-e1c36de6f870/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4669840.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - 10. How to Prevent Financial Infidelity in a Relationship? Unfortunately, there is no full proof way to prevent financial infidelity in a relationship. However, you can certainly implement some preventive measures to reduce the likelihood of financial infidelity. Start talking about money early in your relationship. Be open and honest about your income, spending, assets, and debt sooner rather than later. Share your beliefs and feelings about money, as our beliefs and feelings about money ultimately drive our financial behaviors. Clearly communicate your financial boundaries. Define financial infidelity for yourselves to ensure that you are on the same page. What constitutes financial infidelity… Keeping a bonus or raise a secret? Lying about the amount of a bonus or raise? Secretly spending money in specific ways (gambling, pornography, alcohol, etc.)? Pretending a new purchase is an old purchase? Pretending a full price purchase was a sale purchase? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/31f49dc8-1b59-4e3d-8109-f6bc83ec0e9a/pexels-wildlittlethingsphoto-2055230.jpg Blog - 10 Common Questions About Financial Infidelity Answered - If You Have Committed Financial Infidelity… If you have committed financial infidelity, you may also be experiencing a range of emotions. Guilt and shame for your actions, relief that you are no longer lying and withholding from your partner, hopelessness about your financial circumstances, etc. It is perfectly okay and normal for you to be going through your own emotional journey; however, avoid letting your journey overshadow your partner’s. Talking with your partner about your feelings of guilt while they are in shock and feel deeply betrayed and hurt is probably not the best course of action. Instead, seek support outside of your partner from a trusted friend or family member or a therapist. A few final thoughts… Do not expect your partner to simply or quickly ‘get over it’. You have broken their trust. It may take years for them to overcome the betrayal. Disclose all financial infidelity. If your partner discovered your secret credit card but has yet to discover your secret bank account, it is best to come forward with all the information now. This can be a way to start rebuilding trust. Remember that, while you have hurt your partner, you are not a bad person. Take accountability for your actions while practicing self-compassion. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/4-limiting-beliefs-about-investing-and-how-to-address-them monthly 0.5 2024-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/bc61a3f7-b14f-4a66-aca8-e34e8edea18e/pexels-tima-miroshnichenko-7991186.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Investing for Yourself Whether due to complicated financial jargon, indecision about specific investments, distrust in the stock market, or skepticism about the ethics of investing in global corporations, just thinking about investing in the stock market can stir up feelings of confusion, self-doubt, worry, and anger (to name a few). All too often, these feelings deter people from investing in their future and growing their wealth. Investing in the stock market is important, in large part, due to inflation. Throughout history, the purchasing power of a single dollar has dramatically declined. In 1924, a movie ticket cost $.25. Today, the average movie ticket costs $10.78. You could see 43 movies in 1924 for the price of 1 movie ticket today! If you put $220 (or 10% of the average annual income in 1924) into a savings account in 1924, it would be worth $222.21 today. However, if you instead invested $220 in the stock market in 1924, it would be worth over $3,000,000 today! By investing in the stock market instead of simply putting money into a savings account, you can far surpass inflation - and see a lot of movies one day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c07058a3-2d1c-4a88-92ff-5f3ec29dc915/pexels-mike-jones-9052345.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Combating Limiting Beliefs Limiting beliefs are judgments about yourself that you believe to be truths. Everyone has limiting beliefs (financial or otherwise), which prevent us from achieving our full potential. Addressing your limiting beliefs about investing will open the door for you to achieve your goals - you deserve to achieve your goals - and to feel increased financial safety and security. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e2f0f1c7-07e3-4e98-9034-c07fa1744062/pexels-cottonbro-5184946.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - 1. “It’s too complicated. I will never understand.” Financial jargon can feel confusing, overwhelming, and intimating. Financial jargon also makes investing in the stock market inaccessible to the masses. If you feel confident in your understanding of investing and the stock market and choose not to invest, that is your prerogative. However, if your limiting beliefs and all-consuming feelings about investing simply result in you not investing, it is worth learning more about investing, so you can be in the driver’s seat, taking control of your financial future. Fortunately, you do not need to know as much financial jargon as you might think in order to feel confident and empowered to invest. I am a Certified Financial Therapist, Certified Financial Social Worker, and, more importantly, a personal finance nerd (I suppose this goes unsaid), and I cannot tell you what the Diluted WASO or EBITDA Margin is. To be honest, I cannot even tell you what those acronyms stand for, and that is more than okay. I know enough, and you can know enough too! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/769f05ea-8a49-487f-ad7a-2942a3eb76bf/pexels-olgakalinina-7477869.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - From Compound Knowledge to Compound Interest Think of a hobby you enjoy. Let’s say cross-stitching. Now, think of a list of words and concepts related to that hobby. For example, DMC stranded cotton, French knots, and skein. To most people, those words mean nothing, but to you, they make complete sense. When you first started cross-stitching, you probably had no idea what those words meant. Now, you use them fluidly and fluently, without hesitating to think about their meaning. Instead, you are only increasing your cross-stitching terminology as you learn new stitches and patterns. Investing is the same as cross-stitching. As you learn more about investing and begin investing money yourself, your knowledge will start to compound. You will feel increasingly confident and empowered to ask questions, learn more, and make decisions that help you to achieve your long term goals. Investing is not beyond your comprehension; you are just starting to learn a new hobby! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/9188d16e-aaf9-4494-9678-119769188e41/istockphoto-1226386040-612x612.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Complex Investing → Empowered Investing Remember… When learning a new hobby, you will almost certainly make mistakes along the way. Dedication and commitment to learning and practicing a new hobby always yields results. Create your own Duolingo for investing, and learn one new word each day. Today’s word: Stock Tomorrow’s word: Ticker Symbol (there’s no shame in watching kids videos to learn!) Do not ask your friend who ‘day trades’ and always talks about the ‘block chain’ for help. While it may seem that they are knowledgeable, more often than not, they will contribute to your feelings of inadequacy or incompetency. Work with a Certified Financial Therapist or an Accredited Financial Counselor to learn more about investing and to address your feelings about investing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d77a6bda-9cba-45f5-81d2-3a1dbf4a5e88/pexels-pixabay-414943.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - 2. “I cannot invest in companies that do harm to the environment or mankind.” Great! You don’t have to! How you spend, save, and invest your money speaks volumes about your values and priorities. Not wanting to invest in companies that do harm to the environment or mankind makes complete and total sense (do not worry - you do not have to invest in Amazon if you do not want to). Fortunately, there are many companies that you can invest in that are doing good for the world! By assuming that all companies are doing harm, you are actually missing opportunities to help companies that are doing good to grow. Sustainable (ESG) Investing and Socially Responsible Investing (SRI) are becoming increasingly common because of people like you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4cc5889a-10a7-4438-bb9b-f43266741777/pexels-yankrukov-8837742.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Sustainable (ESG) Investing Companies are now given an Environmental, Social, and Governance (ESG) rating, which takes into consideration greenhouse gas emissions, toxic waste management, safe and healthy workplace conditions, access to healthcare, diversity among board members and senior executives, and so much more! ESG ratings give investors deeper insight into a company’s commitment to doing good. ESG ratings are relatively new (created in 2004); therefore, ESG ratings are not yet perfect. However, they are a great start to an ever evolving shift to more sustainable investing. Socially Responsible Investing Socially Responsible Investing is investing in companies that directly have positive social impacts, such as investing in a solar energy company. SRI also allows you to evaluate companies based on your beliefs, values, and morals. You can invest based on your religion, political beliefs, etc. SRI requires a little more legwork than ESG investing, as ESG ratings are universal whereas your beliefs, values, and morals are unique to you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/2e5a43eb-d064-4c88-bb81-37c6c03e03a2/AdobeStock_443265885+%281%29.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - ESG and SRI Investing Performance Advantages According to Morgan Stanley, a global investment banking company, sustainable investments outperformed traditional investments 12.6% to 8.6%. Some even argue that sustainable investments have more potential upside as an increasing number of companies are trying to be more diverse and environmentally-friendly. However, this is not a guarantee. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/1d96f87c-be59-424f-b5f9-c1bacb4beee5/pexels-thgusstavo-2061820.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Anti-Investing → Ethical Investing Learn more about the differences between Socially Responsible Investing (SRI) and ESG Investing. If you still do not want to invest in the stock market, consider investing in small businesses or real estate. Read… The Millennial Money Woman Fiona Smith’s step-by-step guide to investing in small businesses. Read How To Invest In Real Estate: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide To Getting Started by Joshua Dorkin and Brandon Turner. Explore Wefunder, which has made investing in small businesses more accessible. With Wefunder, you can invest in a variety of businesses from Dope Coffee (a black, woman, and veteran owned hip-hop coffee brand) to Seedsheet (which strives to reduce food waste and plastic consumption) to Cadence OTC (which is trying to make birth control accessible over the counter). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a78c6ebf-61eb-4b09-b29e-2d801f3cd5d0/istockphoto-1319411230-612x612.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - 3. “I’m going to lose all my money in the stock market.” Throughout history, the United States economy has continued to grow despite many economic setbacks. It is inevitable that future setbacks will occur, which can feel very scary. It is true that many people have made a lot of money in the stock market. It is also true that many people have lost a lot of money in the stock market. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0d854a4d-74e5-4400-a3c0-6a1dad97118e/pexels-n-voitkevich-6532065.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Generational Financial Differences When you were born can greatly impact your feelings about investing in the stock market, as your life experiences shape your financial beliefs and feelings. Many Boomers were born to parents who lived through the Great Depression. They grew up witnessing their parents’ financial anxiety, scarcity mindset, and distrust in the stock market, which certainly impacted their own beliefs and behaviors. Late Gen-Xers and elder Millennials experienced the Great Recession during a pivotal time in their lives - young adulthood. Due to this experience, many of them are hesitant to invest in the stock market to this day. Gen-Z have spent most of their lives in a strong, growing economy. While they are still young and therefore not investing as much in the stock market, they are projected to be optimistic about investing. Awareness about your generation’s specific financial experiences can shed light on the formation of your limiting beliefs about investing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e3d42da8-2f32-424e-b030-17aa79b7fc61/Screenshot+2024-07-28+232602.png Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Stock Market History While your feelings and experiences are real so are facts. Let’s take a look at some facts about the stock market. Pay attention to how reading these facts makes you feel. Stock Market Downfalls Since World War II, recessions have lasted 11 months on average. The longest recession in US history was the Great Depression which lasted 3.5 years. The shortest recession in US history was the Covid Recession which lasted 2 months. The Great Recession of 2007 to 2009 lasted 18 months. Since World War II, the United States has experienced a recession every 6.5 years on average. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4e9d5590-b97e-411b-91cb-4590ef23be56/Screenshot+2024-07-28+235008.png Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Stock Market Gains Historically, the average annual stock market return is 10% (a lot more than a .01% checking account!). Since 1926, only 8 years have performed between 8% and 12% annually; the other 90 years, the stock market performed lower than 10% or much higher than 10%. Over a 1 year period, investors are 77% likely to have positive returns. Over a 3 year period, investors are 87% likely to have positive returns. Over a 10 year period, investors are 97% likely to have positive returns! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/72e77fec-5db6-4f64-bcec-b3ec206f2b8e/pexels-cottonbro-9811521.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Fearful Investing → Factful Investing Learn about diversification. Diversification means investing in a variety of assets (perhaps real estate, index funds, bonds, and \ or gold) in order to mitigate risk. Diversification helps to reduce feelings of fear about losing all of your money in the market and keeps your portfolio balanced. Increase your savings. People with fear and anxiety about losing money in the stock market may prefer to keep more money in their savings account. Remember that you have not actually lost money in the stock market until you sell your shares. In the event that the stock market crashes, you will be able to utilize your savings and avoid selling any shares until the stock market recovers. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5fcd0bca-b2db-401c-bf2e-8be89a2e1d60/pexels-yankrukov-8837768.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - 4. “I don’t want to make the wrong choice, so I’ll make no choice instead.” Overthinking to the point of inaction, also known as analysis paralysis, is very common in people investing for the first time. You may not know where to invest (a Roth IRA, an HSA, a 401k, etc.) or what to invest in (stocks, mutual funds, index funds, ETFs, etc.). Instead of making the wrong decision, you make no decision. Unfortunately, if you do not invest in the stock market or housing market, growing your wealth will be very challenging. Therefore, avoiding investing altogether may not be the answer. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/07f20613-8160-4c91-9ca8-68dc304cdbf0/istockphoto-1358134959-612x612.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - The Paradox of Choice We think that we want more options. More is better right? Wrong. Barry Schwartz’s book The Paradox of Choice (and excellent TedTalk) explores how increased options brings consumers greater stress than fewer options. For example, imagine you have three ice cream options: vanilla, chocolate, strawberry. You can probably make a pretty quick decision about which flavor you would like right now. You would order your ice cream with little to no regret and feel content with your decision. Now, imagine instead you have one hundred ice cream options! Pistachio, mint chocolate chip, mango, coffee - you name it! You feel overwhelmed and stressed about making the wrong decision. You are torn between ten different flavors and need to sample all of them. Should you order a new flavor or go with your usual (cookie dough for me)? You wait until the absolute last moment, when everyone else has ordered and the cashier is looking at you, to make your final decision. You may enjoy your ice cream. You also may be filled with doubt or regret about your decision. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/292dadf5-40d6-4453-9b66-012d80835942/pexels-tony-schnagl-5586518.jpg Blog - 4 Limiting Beliefs About Investing [And How To Address Them] - Simply Not Investing → Investing Simply Remember that, worst case scenario, you can always change course and make changes. Do not strive for perfection. No investment is perfect. Strive for good enough. Plenty of investments are good enough. Once you have made a decision, you can automate your investments, so you do not have to continue ruminating and evaluating future investments. Set a deadline for yourself. Without a deadline, you may put off the decision forever and miss out on growing your wealth. Read The Simple Path To Wealth by JL Collins to learn more about the pros and cons of index funds. Collins simplifies index fund investing to help make your decision making process easier. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/11-must-ask-financial-questions-in-a-relationship monthly 0.5 2024-07-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/89c819de-a4e4-462f-b400-daf3032951f0/pexels-mikhail-nilov-8351185.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - Managing Finances Together Whether you are dating, moving in together, or getting engaged or married, talking about finances with your partner will help you to ensure long term compatibility and to achieve your goals. Many couples avoid talking about their financial beliefs and values let alone their salary, debt, savings, etc. until they are married (or even years into their marriage when finances become a ‘problem’). The longer finances go unaddressed, the more and more difficult it will be to discuss finances in the future. Just the thought of merging and jointly managing finances can stir up a range of emotions - from excitement to fear. Fortunately, there are no ‘shoulds’. You and your partner can explore various approaches to jointly managing finances or even create your own approach that meets both of your needs. Remember… The structures and systems that you create and implement today can always be adapted in the future. You may need to try various approaches until you find the best fit for you and your partner. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/397d8a71-14cb-485e-b784-c0d7922f9922/pexels-cottonbro-7339362.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - Must-Have Mindset for Financial Conversations Your mindset and attitude entering a financial conversation with your partner will set the tone for how the conversation unfolds. First and foremost, approach the conversation (as well as any financial conversation for that matter!) with curiosity, not judgment. When people feel judged, they are quick to become defensive and shut down. By approaching the conversation with curiosity, you will undoubtedly learn something new about your partner (and maybe even yourself). Ask questions in an effort to better understand, and give your partner the benefit of the doubt when they are asking you questions. Use non-judgmental phrasing… “How does jointly managing finances make you feel?” “What is your ideal approach to merging finances?” “What doubts or concerns do you have about joint bank accounts?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d67f7495-fbf8-43bf-94a0-33d6aad5763c/pexels-sarah-chai-7266998.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - Financial Self Awareness and Emotional Regulation All 11 must-ask financial questions are filled with emotion! If possible, be aware of your money triggers before entering the conversation and know that you may uncover money triggers that you were previously unaware of during the conversation. If your partner starts talking about their debt and you feel your heart racing and mind spinning, breathe. Remind yourself that you are not making any decisions in this moment. You are just listening. Be present. Your goal is not to convince your partner to change their mind. Your goal is not to talk about the numbers. Your goal is to listen and learn. Your goal is to emotionally support your partner, which includes emotionally supporting your partner’s relationship to money. You and your partner can help one another to heal by having compassion and empathy for one another’s financial journey. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8c679745-69a3-4006-b915-d1079f227532/pexels-hannah-stevens-1271742-3724031.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - Financial Safety and Security 1. “How can we assure that we both feel financially safe and secure in the event that we split up?” This question in no way indicates that you do not believe in your relationship or love your partner deeply. On the contrary, loving your partner truly and deeply is asking and answering this question honestly and valuing and honoring your partner's answer. This question is reasonable, responsible, and loving. While you may truly believe that you and your partner will be together forever, life is filled with unexpected and inevitable twists and turns. Most people do not enter marriage assuming that they will one day get divorced; however, the divorce rate in the United States is 43%, and many factors that are outside a couple’s control can drastically impact the likelihood of divorce. For example, the divorce rate in couples with a child with autism is 80%, and couples with twins or triplets are 17% more likely to get divorced. Regardless of whether or not you have children, money (financial infidelity, money arguments, etc.) is one of the top reasons for divorce. If you are engaged… Listen to To Prenup or Not To Prenup? featuring The Fiscal Feminist, Kimberlee Davis on The Money With Katie Show https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/23eec306-2bf0-4fb2-944b-98786649c5d4/pexels-kseniachernaya-7295823.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - Financial Relational History 2. “How did your parents manage money as a couple and as individuals?” Our experiences in childhood shape our understanding of and beliefs about money and financial management. We all witnessed our parents manage (or possibly mismanage) money and consciously or subconsciously adapted similar behaviors or rejected them entirely. Remember that the formation of your partner’s money beliefs can also be traced back to their childhood and that their money beliefs are just as deeply embedded as yours. Understanding how your partner’s parents managed money as a couple and as individual will give you insight into your partner’s financial behaviors. To learn more about your partner, ask these follow up questions… “What did you take away from witnessing your parents managing money together?” “What would you like to do similarly to and differently than your parents in terms of managing money?” Also, focus on yourself and your relationship to money, as you can only control yourself and your behaviors. Ask yourself… “What money beliefs am I holding onto that my parents instilled in me that are hindering me?” “What money beliefs have I accepted without questioning or challenging?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/bd7a075f-8936-4a92-90a2-94fea87cdf91/pexels-timur-weber-8560737.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - 3. “How have your past relationships (marriages or partners) impacted how you would like to combine finances? Past relationships also impact our financial beliefs and behaviors, particularly in past relationships with financial abuse, financial infidelity, or financial shaming. Your partner may feel worried or anxious that you are hiding credit card debt or that you would shame them for their spending habits. This is not necessarily a reflection of you. Rather, your partner may be projecting their feelings about their ex onto you. Understanding how your partner managed money in past relationships will give you insight into their emotional experience of merging finances with you. If your partner has experienced financial abuse, financial infidelity, or financial shaming, ask… “How is this relationship similar to and different from your previous relationship?” If previous relationships (parental, romantic, etc.) have impacted your relationship with money and your ability to engage in healthy and productive financial conversations with your partner, consider… Talking with a Certified Financial Therapist https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6a190009-1e8c-432d-9769-ac677d4de0aa/pexels-cody-portraits-3107528-11664053.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - Financial Dealbreakers and Non Negotiables Identifying your financial deal breakers is essential in ensuring financial compatibility. Deal breakers are concerns that would cause you to end the relationship. Everyone has different financial deal breakers based on their own money beliefs and past experiences. Knowing your financial deal breakers sooner rather than later will allow you to make the best decision for yourself and the relationship moving forward. Set a deadline for when you would like to know these deal breakers. 3 months, 6 months, 1 year. A timeline is important, because deal breakers are exactly that - deal breakers. While you could wait until the fifth date or until you have surpassed your one year anniversary or until you are engaged to ask these questions, you can save you and your partner time and heartbreak by asking these questions sooner. Consider asking your financial deal breakers on the first date! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/f882dd5b-e330-4d52-ae68-a19f420618fd/pexels-ana-daza-479680614-17567992.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - 4. “Do you have debt?” Debt and overspending are two of the most common financial deal breakers. If debt is a deal breaker for you, ask yourself the following questions… What privilege is there in having no debt? How much debt is a deal breaker for me? Is there a specific type of debt (credit card debt, student loan debt, medical debt, etc.) that is a deal breaker for me? Are there exceptions to this deal breakers? If so, what are the exceptions? These follow up questions are even more important than the original question, as they will give you context and a greater understanding of your partner. Ask your partner… “How much debt and what type of debt do you have?” “How or why did you accrue this debt?” “How are you addressing this debt?” “How do you feel about accruing future debt?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4d0335a9-98b1-4b15-97f9-2fa29da6d43f/pexels-mart-production-7679743.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - 5. “What is your relationship to spending?” 83% of Americans say they overspend to varying degrees. Men, women, Boomers, Gen-Z - people of all demographics overspend. Additionally, financial infidelity in the form of ‘stealth spending’ as coined by The Wall Street Journal is on the rise. Approximately 60% of Millennials and Gen-Z admit to stealth spending, or hiding purchases from their partner. Therefore, understanding your partner’s relationship to spending is more important now than ever. To better understand your relationship to spending, ask yourself… Where along the spectrum of overspending to underspending do I fall? What do overspending and underspending mean to me? When and why do I overspend? Ask your partner… “How does spending make you feel?” “Does your spending result in debt or impact your ability to save money?” “Have you ever made secret purchases in a relationship? If so, why?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/9144b800-6015-443e-bb23-04208d520d44/pexels-katerina-holmes-5910809.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - 6. “What are your financial deal breakers and non negotiables?” Your partner’s financial deal breakers are, again, just as important as your financial deal breakers. This question may feel scary to ask - after all, what if your partner’s financial deal breakers lead to the demise of your relationship? Withholding or lying about your financial behaviors in an effort to maintain your relationship can result in major issues, while honesty and transparency in a relationship increase feelings of trust, increase emotional intimacy, and improve communication. Compatibility is a two-way street; while your partner may be a financial fit for you, you may not be a financial fit for them. Loving your partner is being honest, so they can also make the best decision for themself. “Do you have any exceptions to these deal breakers?” “How could you feel better about my debt or overspending?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/255b76d6-e1f0-4592-8073-de8418882aa9/istockphoto-1483118772-612x612.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - Financial Open-Mindedness 7. “Are you interested in financial couples therapy?” According to the New York Times, interest in financial therapy rose following the 2008 recession and again during the Covid-19 pandemic, as financial anxiety spiked. Financial couples therapy is a great way to learn how to communicate about money, identify financial goals, align financial values, and manage money jointly. If your partner is open to financial couples therapy either now or in the future, you can confidently move forward knowing that they will be willing to work through financial difficulties with you as they arise. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5246216f-6af8-4946-a9a7-63fdf9bc49e4/pexels-polina-tankilevitch-4570438.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - 8. “Are you open to exploring the gray areas of joint finances?” Finances, like most things in life, are not black and white. There is always a gray (or rainbow!) area. You do not need to keep your finances fully separate or merge them entirely. You do not need to split your rent equally (50/50) or equitably (as a proportion of your income). There is a whole array of how you can manage your finances together. If you and your partner are open to exploring the gray areas of finances, you will be more likely to merge finances in a way that feels good to both of you. Examples of gray areas to get your wheels spinning… You receive a $10,000 inheritance. You can pay off your credit card debt or put your money into an emergency savings. You can also pay off $6,000 of your credit card debt and put $4,000 towards your emergency savings. You can also pay of $5,000 of your credit card debt, put $3,000 into an emergency savings account, and invest $2,000 in your Roth IRA. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ffa84201-9b47-43de-bd3f-42e93cc9a14d/pexels-emmypaw-5541699.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - 9. “What feels just outside of your comfort zone financially?” Feeling just outside of your comfort zone financially is not bad. Some people feel outside of their comfort zone investing while others feel outside of their comfort zone not investing. Oftentimes, feeling outside of our comfort zone helps us to learn more about ourselves and to grow. Investing can help you to grow your wealth and achieve your financial goals. Not investing can help you to enjoy today more by having more disposable income. You and your partner will not be in 100% agreement about every financially decision, so inevitably, you will both have to make some changes or concessions that feel a little uncomfortable. That is okay and normal - healthy even. One person consistently feeling completely outside of their comfort zone while their partner feels calm and content is not healthy. Consider how you can ease your anxieties and practice ongoing self-care when moving outside of your comfort zone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/de3c8c3b-83d9-4dab-be54-72857dacbebd/pexels-keira-burton-6624478.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - Financial Future 10. “Do you want children? If so, how many children do you want?” The exact cost of raising a child is difficult to calculate, as there are several factors that can influence the overall cost, such as the city you reside in, childcare, clothing, etc. Regardless, at minimum, a single child costs hundreds and thousands of dollars in just the first 18 years of life. Being in alignment with wanting or not wanting children as well as a general idea of how many children you hope for is important as this will be a major factor in your financial picture. If you and your partner would like children, ask your partner… “Would you like to be a stay at home parent at any point? Why or why not?” “What opportunities would you like us to be able to provide for our children?” “Would you like our children to attend public or private school, and why?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/531e1809-6fdd-45c8-b042-e34707e158d1/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4132305.jpg Blog - 11 Must-Ask Financial Questions In A Relationship - 11. “Would you like to buy a home in the future? Why or why not?” Buying a home is likely the biggest purchase you will ever make. In most cases, purchasing a home will be a six figure decision and, in an increasing number of cases, a seven figure decision. While older generations are typically in agreement on this question, younger generations for various reasons (unaffordability, valuing experiences over homeownership, etc.) are divided on this question. Regardless of your generation, do not avoid asking this question and assume your partner’s answer. If you and your partner are in disagreement, learn more about the pros, cons, and myths of homeownership. If you and your partner would both like to buy a home in the future, you can start the process today… Attend open houses together as a date! With no intention of buying a house, you can discuss what you like and do not like in a home in a low stakes environment. Check your credit report today, so you can take steps towards improving your credit if necessary. Enroll in a free first time home buyer course in your state to learn more about the process. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/7-steps-to-beginning-a-financial-conversation-with-your-aging-parents-a-series-part-1 monthly 0.5 2024-07-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0d2b07e6-80be-4bc9-acc1-83c8af4bc987/istockphoto-1336515473-612x612.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - Financial Conversations with Aging Parents Whether or not your parents are financially prepared for retirement, discussing the future with your aging parents can help alleviate financial worry and uncertainty and improve financial wellness not only for you but also for your parents. Many people are completely unaware of their parents’ financial circumstances, wondering… “Do my parents have $5,000, $50,000, or $500,000 in their retirement?” “Does my mom have a plan for her long term care and the means to execute this plan?” “If my mapa were to die today, do they have a will? Where is or who has access to the will?” Lack of financial transparency can lead to intense feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. Your parents may be worrying about money every day and avoiding the conversation as they do not want to feel like a burden. Meanwhile, you feel calm and confident that they have their finances under control. On the other hand, you may feel anxious about your single dad’s financial situation, while your dad has an excellent pension that you do not even know exists. It is impossible to know the truth of your parents’ financial situation until and unless you have a conversation about it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d3adbafa-5e6b-46a0-85bd-685c032f39f7/istockphoto-2147688776-612x612.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - Start Having Financial Conversations Today It is never too early to start a financial conversation with your parents. While it may seem unnecessary or unusual to talk about finances and aging when your parents are 60 years old and pickle balling every day, this is actually the perfect time to start the conversation! Discussing finances before you need to or are forced to due to circumstances beyond your control will allow you and your parents to think more clearly and to collaborate more effectively. If you wait to discuss finances until your parent receives a cancer or Alzheimer’s diagnosis, the financial conversation will be fueled with feelings of fear, worry, grief, and urgency. While you and your parents will have a mixture of emotions throughout the conversation, one day you will all feel grateful and relieved that you had the conversation on your terms. If your parent is already older or has health complications, start the conversation as soon as possible - there is no time like the present! Remember… Oftentimes, the thought of having the conversation is far worse than the conversation itself. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e744f0dd-60a1-4cc1-bb0e-c6945d54f950/istockphoto-160537982-612x612.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - The Intersection of Death and Money Let’s take a moment to acknowledge why this conversation may feel so challenging and uncomfortable. When we talk about aging, planning for retirement, estate planning, and long-term care, we are ultimately talking about death and dying. Your parent may be grappling with their own feelings of sadness, worry, and fear, as they confront their own aging. They may be worrying about running out of money or losing their identity in retirement. They may worry about how to maximize their time and money before their hearing starts to fade or they cannot walk. Talking about aging, death and dying is difficult to say the least. Add that to talking about money, financial wellness, and financial preparedness - who wouldn’t want to avoid this conversation! For many people, confronting and discussing these worries is much more difficult than avoiding them. You may be experiencing similar feelings, as you notice your parent’s hand is shaking or they are struggling to get up from the couch. Unfortunately, in terms of your parents’ aging a lot is out of your control. However, engaging in a financial conversation is well within your means and can help to make aging more manageable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/1f86e0f2-75c7-4127-8808-a3be23c3e544/pexels-viktoria-slowikowska-5332281.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - 1. Consult Your Partner If you have a partner, start the process by checking in with them about initiating financial conversations with your aging parents and their aging parents. Your parents may have very different financial circumstances than your partner’s parents. Therefore, it is important to have this conversation with both sets of parents, so you can make the most informed decisions moving forward. Discuss and brainstorm ways in which each of you would like to support your parents as they age. Ask your partner… "How do you feel about having a financial conversation with our parents?” “What concerns or worries do you have about the conversation?” “How can I support you leading up to, during, and after the conversation?” “How do we envision financially and physically being a part of our parents’ lives as they age?” “Would you like to live close enough to your parents to be able to drive them to doctor appointments?” “Would you like your parents to live with us?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/dd8b3f42-d36e-42b0-9c25-a62a43f1fb33/pexels-canvastudio-3194524.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - 2. Consult Your Siblings Your siblings (and their partners) are another factor in the financial equation and conversation. The conversation you start with your siblings about finances and aging will be ongoing (possibly spanning decades), as it is likely that you and your siblings will one day need to work together logistically and financially to ensure that your parents are cared for throughout their lives. Talking with your siblings before talking with your parents is an important step as they can provide you support in having the conversation. They may ask to participate in the conversation or offer insights into approaching the conversation. Your siblings may or may not have thought about your aging parents’ finances yet. To start the conversation with your siblings, Ask… “How do you and your partner imagine being involved with our parents physically and financially as they age?” Assess… What are everyone’s strengths? Some people love spreadsheets - this will prove very helpful! Some people have flexible work schedules - this will also prove very helpful! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e25b78ae-ad42-4b10-ada8-6f065f0ecf48/pexels-zen-chung-5538609.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - 3. Setting the Stage Setting the stage for a financial conversation is like making a first impression - it is so important to how the conversation will be received. Calling your parents while they are with friends on a Saturday evening is probably not the best time to start a financial conversation. You know your parents best, so consider different times, locations and situations that they would be most receptive to having this conversation. Also, remember that there is never a perfect time or place for anything, so be thoughtful yet do not wait for the perfect time or place or you will never have the conversation. Ask yourself (and your sibling)... “Would our parents be more receptive to this conversation… In the morning or the evening?” On a Tuesday or a Saturday?” Around the holidays or during the summer?” In a coffee shop or at home?” In person, over the phone, or via email?” As a whole family or just with one of us?” Also, consider setting a (mental or explicit) time limit on the conversation in the event that people begin to feel overwhelmed. You can always continue the conversation later! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/209b2967-2201-418b-b0ea-f099a08d65af/pexels-keira-burton-6147391.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - 4. Determine the Purpose and Goal of the Conversation There are many possible purposes or goals for an initial financial conversation. Consider the following common purposes and goals. Information Gathering One purpose or goal for an initial financial conversation with your parents is to gather information. Instead of delving into everyone’s feelings, you can discuss details and logistics. Ask your parents… “If something were to happen to one of you tomorrow, does the other know the financial accounts that exist as well as usernames and passwords for these accounts? If something were to happen to both of you tomorrow, where could Adrian and I find this information?” “At what age do you plan to start receiving social security? Do you have any idea how much you will receive in social security?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8b1ab2cd-8e2d-4a88-a086-773ed8b70394/pexels-john-diez-7388891.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - Information Sharing Perhaps the purpose or goal of the conversation is to help alleviate some of your parents’ financial anxiety by informing them that you have been financially planning for their retirement. Share with them… “We would love for you to live with us in the future.” “We do not want finances to be an added stressor as you age, so we are also setting aside some money to help you in the event you need it.” Identifying Areas of Growth and Exploration You by no means need to have extensive financial knowledge to initiate a financial conversation with your parents. You and your parents may be learning together. Identify areas of financial growth and exploration and incorporate your parents… “I have been thinking about creating a will. Do you know much about wills? Let’s learn more about wills together.” “I am reading Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor’s Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life by Jordan Grumet, MD to learn more about financial power of attorneys. Do you want to read it with me?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/75f5a151-c05a-412c-be0f-85e42ec2d01b/pexels-nadezhda-moryak-7127893.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - 5. Financial Ice Breakers Sometimes, breaking the ice can be the most challenging part of the conversation. Once the conversation gets started, it will flow naturally, and you can segway into other areas. As you create your own financial ice breakers, notice that these conversation starters are in no way judgmental, accusatory or presumptive. “I have recently started seeing a financial therapist, and I wanted to talk with you about your current financial situation, as I am completely unaware of it.” “My sisters and I were talking about your upcoming retirement, and we were wondering about your financial plan.” “I read an interesting article about long term care coverage. Do you have long term care coverage?” “Watching you take care of Lita and Pops has me thinking about the future and your financial situation. I would love to have some of these conversations now instead of later.” “I know that you really do not like talking about money, and talking about finances is really important to me, because I want to make sure that you are taken care of throughout life. How can we have this conversation in a way that feels good to you?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/dea7705e-8677-4438-b5de-aa489dc1ab03/istockphoto-1389465373-612x612.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - 6. Seek Understanding, Withhold Judgement If you have ever felt financial shame (or any shame for that matter), you know how terrible it feels. Try to give your parents the benefit of the doubt; they probably did the best that they could financially, as most people do. Remember, they too did not receive a formal financial education. Remember, intergenerational wealth and poverty exist. If your parents are not in a financially sound position, they probably already feel ashamed. Avoid… Making assumptions. It is unlikely that you are fully aware of all the circumstances that shaped your parents’ financial beliefs and behaviors. Questions such as “Aren’t you worried…” and “Don’t you think…”, as they are biased. Instead ask questions, such as “How do you feel?” and “What do you think?”. Say… “I am not judging you. I just want us all to be on the same page, so we can work together on a plan for the future that feels good for everyone.” Also, if you are upset with your parents for not being financially prepared for aging, consider working with a certified financial therapist. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c1a55107-d39c-41a7-9ccd-a8c10d4c76b8/pexels-anete-lusina-5239790.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - 7. Follow Up Financial Conversations Remember that the first conversation is just that - the first conversation, opening the door to future conversations. You cannot and will not cover every question and concern that you have in the first conversation, so create a concrete plan to continue the discussion at a later date. Even if all of your questions were answered, schedule ongoing financial conversations with your parents as there will be constant changes in their financial circumstances as well as in their health and wellbeing. Set a timeline to ensure that the discussion will continue. Otherwise, the conversation can be easily overlooked, forgotten, or avoided. Create a specific action items that each person is responsible for addressing before your next conversation. These items will be your future financial ice breakers. “Let’s check in again in October. Meanwhile, I will look into what is required to create a financial power of attorney. Mom and Mark will gather more information about Mark’s pension, and Maria will talk with her financial therapist about her financial anxiety about supporting Mom and Mark. ” → “I looked into a power of attorney, and here is what I learned. Mom and Mark, what new information do you have about Mark’s pension?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/55651c63-b7e4-40c7-820a-b45fd2b7f799/pexels-pexels-latam-478514802-17982926.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Beginning a Financial Conversation with Your Aging Parents [A Series: Part 1] - You Did It! The first financial conversation you have with your aging parents could go better, worse or the same as expected. Regardless, you did it! Be proud of yourself for doing something difficult and important. If the conversation goes worse than expected, do not let that deter you from having future financial conversations. Instead use the first conversation as a learning experience. Ask yourself… “What could I do differently next time?” “What supports (partner, friends, financial advisor, financial therapist, etc.) do I need to continue engaging in this conversation?” https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/therapeutic-approaches-to-teaching-your-child-about-finances-tools-for-different-age-ranges monthly 0.5 2024-07-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5f52055c-45ed-4b05-a0f1-e3a595d5b343/Screenshot+2024-07-04+195125.png Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - The Importance of Early Childhood Financial Experiences If you reflect on the people and experiences that most shaped your financial beliefs, financial feelings, and financial behaviors, you are probably recalling your parents or guardians and your childhood. You may (consciously or subconsciously) replicate your parents’ or guardians’ financial behaviors, or you may (again, consciously or subconsciously) strive to engage in entirely different financial behaviors than they did. The importance of early childhood experiences is indisputable. Your understanding of the world, including your understanding of money and the economy, is for better or worse shaped in so many ways by your upbringing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e42f027b-a7fc-4f77-84ec-9a1395641bd6/pexels-william-fortunato-6392845.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Parenting Children on Money Young children are very, very observant. Before children understand the concept of money or can even count to ten, they are absorbing financial messages by observing your financial behaviors. These observations will begin to formulate their future financial beliefs (or ‘money scripts’) and ultimately their future financial behaviors. You may not even realize that you are sending financial messages, as these financial behaviors can seem quiet ordinary to you. Consider the financial messages you are relaying when your child notices… How often you say yes or no when they ask for toys, clothes, money, etc. How frequently you eat at restaurants or order takeout If you buy clothes, phones, cars, etc. new or used How you react when they break a toy How you talk about money Make sure that your financial behaviors align with the financial messages you would like your child to receive. Children also listen. Your words are powerful and can stay with your child for years to come. They hear you say… “We cannot afford that.” “That is too expensive.” “Whatever you want.” Again, pay attention to your choice of words to ensure that you are communicating the financial messages that are important to you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a1f5d13c-4159-487e-b9ff-984082ac55d7/istockphoto-174961402-612x612.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Concrete Learning and Learning Through Play While many people argue that the future is cashless and that we will exclusively be using digital currency, cash is a very tangible way to teach your child about money, and teaching children concretely is the first step towards teaching children abstractly. Beginning with the concrete and then moving to the abstract is one of the foundations of Montessori education. Additionally, cash is not yet obsolete. In 2023, 20% of Americans still used cash (that’s approximately 67 million people!) and nearly 80% of Americans held cash on themselves at any given time. So find some pennies, nickels, dimes and a piggy bank (or a dinosaur bank or a shark bank or mason jars so children can see the money accumulate over time - the options are endless now) and get started! Old school piggy banks still work! Piggy banks are a great way for children to begin to understand concepts, such as saving, accumulation, interest (you can contribute into their piggy bank to simulate interest), etc. Engaging your young child in imaginary play is another great way to teach your child about money at a young age. Consider role playing cashier at the grocery store or server at a restaurant, which can teach children about decision making, tipping, exchange transactions, etc. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/74621328-82ee-433e-bdb8-c6593a8ae4d1/pexels-greta-hoffman-9705768.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Delayed Gratification In the era of short attention spans and instant gratification, teaching your child about delayed gratification is a helpful skill. Short attention spans and instant gratification can lead to accumulation of unused goods as well as over-spending. If your child wants a toy right now, try… Asking… “Why do you want this toy?” “What makes you excited about this toy?” “We cannot buy all the toys, so if we buy this truck, we cannot buy the ball or the doll. How do you feel about that? What do you think about that?” “The toy you want costs $20. We can save $5 each week in your piggy bank, so you can buy it in 4 weeks. Do you want to save money to buy this toy?” Check in each week. “This week, you have $10 for the toy. Are you still interested in the toy?” Creating… A visual list of the toys your child wants. Take a picture of your child with their toy and tell them that you will send the pictures to grandma and grandpa or Santa, so they can receive the toy as a gift. They are learning delayed gratification, and you have a great birthday gift list! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/28a95125-a049-4e10-8eac-850621e47d9f/istockphoto-1618235877-612x612.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Provide Meaning and Understanding Children start noticing differences, such as race and gender, and comparing as young as three years old. You have the opportunity to help them make sense of these differences and comparisons. They may begin to notice that their friends have more or fewer toys than they do or that their friends live in a bigger or smaller home. Over time, a child may think “we are poor, because we have a small house” or “I have more toys, so I am better than my friend”. Instead of allowing your children to draw their own unfounded assumptions, you can help them to make meaning by emphasizing that all people and families are different - not better or worse, just different. Provide meaning… “We buy clothes used, because it is important to us to take care of the environment. Some people take care of the environment in other ways.” “This home is just right for our family. We did not want a big house like Joey’s house, because it is a lot to take care of. We like our cozy home. Joey’s house is just right for their family.” “We drive a new car, because we wanted the extra safety features. I was in a car accident when I was your age, so safety has always been a priority to me. Everyone has different priorities.” Providing meaning also teaches your child that there are reasons behind the decisions that you make and that you prioritize spending money on your values. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/1275a391-59af-4f24-8915-0dd4a4d0074e/pexels-rdne-7982171.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Experiential Learning As your children enter elementary and middle school, they already have a foundational understanding of money. Get creative and start to engage them in experiential learning. For example… Visit the bank together and help them open a savings account. The feeling of walking into a bank is much different than opening a bank account online and will leave a lasting impression on your child. Encourage them to have their own garage sale. A garage sale will teach them a number of skills, such as marketing, pricing goods, negotiating prices, and interacting with customers. Offer them a loan with a low interest rate for a large purchase, such as a bike. While some may argue that instead of offering your child a loan you should teach them how to save, accessing various lines of credit, such as student loans, credit cards, and mortgages, is a part of adulthood. By providing them a loan and educating them on interest rates and on time payments, they can learn how credit works as well as the pros and cons of accessing credit. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/097ac3f7-4974-44f7-bcaf-25e2551782f4/pexels-photo-8342275.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Allowance Alternatives Many parents do not want to simply give their child an allowance. After all, adults have to earn their money through work, so shouldn’t children have to do the same? Other parents do not want to give their children an allowance for cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming the living room, as these are household responsibilities that every family member must partake in. After all, adults do not earn money for making their bed, so why should children? If you would like to structure allowance differently and are not sure how to, consider these alternatives… Earning Through Learning Create a book, podcast, and \ or documentary list on important subjects (personal finance, self-esteem, physical health and nutrition, boundary setting, etc.). Once your child has read, listened to, or watched one of the items and had a discussion with you about the content, they earn a predetermined amount of money. For book ideas, check out the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s Money As You Grow Bookshelf that has books and parent reading guides in English and Spanish for children ages 3 and up. Pay your child 1 penny, nickel or dime for each page of a book they read or 1 dollar for each chapter they read. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/52cbe922-5980-4dea-bd36-bba8d9ebcbf8/What%2Bis%2Bthe%2BGive%2C%2BInvest%2C%2BSave%2C%2Bor%2BSpend%2BMethod.png Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Managing Money: Allowance Once your child has received an allowance or earned money through their garage sale, help them to manage their money. You can teach them how to break down their money into the following categories: save, spend, invest, donate, expenses. Teach them to prioritize saving money to ensure future financial safety and security. If they are not financial safe and secure, it will be difficult to help others and spending will be riddled with guilt and stress. Then teach them to pay for their expenses and any debts (perhaps the loan you gave them for the bicycle). Finally, you can talk through how they would like to spend, invest, and donate their money. Donating, or giving, money looks different for everyone. Some people choose to donate to charities, while others give money to family or friends by paying for dinner or through gifts. Regardless of how your child chooses to give, spending money on others increases happiness. Check out Samantha Bird Shiloh, who shares how she helps her children to manage their money in each of these categories! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/719edd96-ca95-4cfb-a085-71110278df46/pexels-readymade-4032368.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Increased Experiential Learning As your children enter adolescence, you can provide increased experiential learning by involving them in financial decision making. This can be fun for you and your child and can will teach them lifelong lessons! Consider… Sharing… Your own financial goals (past or present) and the steps you took to achieve those goals Your decision making process when making financial trade-offs Involving… Your child in planning your next vacation! Discuss how much you are willing to spend on a hotel or Airbnb and ask them to help you find a place to stay. Supporting… Your child as they start to make their own financial decisions by asking them questions out of curiosity rather than judgement. Seek to understand how and why they made the financial decision they made as well as how they feel about the decision now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/94fb2042-97e8-46ce-98de-3bed12594777/pexels-ron-lach-9518024.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Large Financial Gifts Some parents give their children large financial gifts, such as buying them a car or paying their college tuition. Other parents choose not to or cannot afford to give their children such large financial gifts. Neither decision is right or wrong. To make the decision that is best for you and your family, explore the pros and cons of both options. For example… According to Forbes, children perform better academically when they are responsible for at least some of their tuition. According to Gallup, high levels of student loan debt are linked to worse physical health and financial wellbeing than their debt-free peers. Remember, financial decisions are non-binary! There are always gray areas. For example… You buy a new phone for your child. However, they are responsible for buying the phone case, headphones, and charger or paying for a portion of the phone plan. You offer to help your child to research and apply to various scholarships using Scholly. You offer to pay for your child’s bachelors degree if they pay for and complete their associates degree first. Finally, help your child to think through major purchases, such as a buying car, by asking about priorities, features, etc. By helping them analyze a major purchase, you are instilling lifelong skills, which will far outlast any car they purchase. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6ca2ba9a-355b-424f-9536-9297ccca101d/istockphoto-471149487-612x612.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] - Managing Money: Income Saving When your child starts working, help them to set up automatic transfers into a savings account. A standard rule of thumb is 10% into savings; however, since your child is young and does not have any major expenses (housing, food, car payment, student loans, etc.) yet, encourage them to save 25% (or more)! Retirement When your child starts working, encourage them to contribute to a Traditional IRA or a Roth IRA. How to encourage your 16 year old to start thinking about and taking care of their 70 year old self? Show your child this short video about the power of compound interest. Offer to match a certain percentage of your child’s retirement contributions, similar to how employers provide 401k matches. For example, if your child contributes $50 per paycheck into their Roth IRA, you contribute an additional $20 into their Roth IRA. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/07076b48-764b-4c30-926c-cd52fdc1ee6d/412q9a2O5-L._SL500_.jpg Blog - Therapeutic Approaches to Teaching Your Child About Finances [Tools for Different Age Ranges] Expanding your personal financial knowledge as well as working through your own financial feelings will have a ripple effect on your child’s financial wellness. Consider working with a certified financial therapist who can help you to better understand your own relationship to money and enhance your financial wellness. Expand your own financial knowledge by reading… Clever Girl Finance by Bola Sokunbi Made Whole: The Practical Guide to Reaching Your Financial Goals by Tiffany ‘the Budgetnista’ Aliche Finally, and most importantly, just like (almost) everything with parenting - there is no right or wrong. Trust yourself and strive to be good enough - you’ve got this! https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/10-practical-steps-to-creating-establishing-and-maintaining-financial-boundaries monthly 0.5 2026-02-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a85d38a1-f887-4b8d-8055-e6211b740395/istockphoto-1340883145-612x612.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - Importance of Financial Boundary Setting Oftentimes, we think about setting boundaries as selfish or rude. Rather, boundaries (financial or otherwise) are ultimately a form of self-love as well as an act of love for others. Boundaries allow us to feel safe, comfortable, and empowered. Setting boundaries for ourselves also gives others permission to set boundaries for themselves. Healthy boundaries help to build respect and trust. Financial boundaries are important, because finances are intimate, personal, and vulnerable - how we choose to spend our money indicates our values and beliefs. Before learning about steps to creating, establishing and maintaining financial boundaries, let’s explore some common relationships that require financial boundary setting. This is not an exhaustive list - financial boundary setting with employers, employees, coworkers, roommates, chosen family, friends, and parents are also important! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/2f12bc38-1b94-41f6-9410-5c93de37da13/pexels-julia-m-cameron-8841302.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - Financial Boundary Setting for Parents with Children Adult Children Financial enabling is particularly common when grandchildren are involved, oftentimes at the expense of you, the parent. If financially supporting your adult child is putting your financial safety and stability in jeopardy, it is time to set some more firm financial boundaries. Until and unless your adult child knows that they need to support themselves, they will continue asking you for financial support. Remember… You have worked hard for your money and you deserve financial safety and stability as you approach and enter your retirement. Young Children Setting boundaries with young children can be challenging - especially when you are feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. Wanting to avoid tantrums is real! However, giving children everything they ask for is usually not a long term solution. In fact, giving children everything they ask for is more likely to have the reverse outcome - making it increasingly difficult to say no in the future. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/99b3af62-9239-42e9-9eab-2d38c1e60f1c/istockphoto-874111536-612x612.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - Financial Boundary Setting Tips for Parents Ask yourself… Why do I struggle to say no? What money messages am I sending my children by always saying yes? Read Why Parents Should Feel Good About Saying “No” To Their Children What money messages am I sending my children by always saying yes? What money beliefs would I like my child to hold in the future? What behaviors do I need to have in order to help them develop these money beliefs? If your child is an addict or in recovery, you may have difficulty trusting them with money. Once you have given someone money, you cannot control how they spend the money - however much you may want to. Consider joining a support group for parents of addicts. If your adult child threatens to harm or kill themselves if you do not provide them financial assistance, the threat must be taken seriously. Call the Suicide and Crisis Hotline or 911. Read Held Hostage By Our Son’s Suicide Threats by Neil D. Brown of Healthy Family Connections https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ce567dc2-f222-4186-aa2b-c41830b9ada3/istockphoto-475821872-612x612.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - Financial Boundary Setting for Dating and Relationships Short-Term Partner or Dating As you are dating and entering a new relationship, you are establishing financial expectations, patterns and rhythms in your relationship. If you pay for every meal now, your partner will likely expect you to continue paying for every meal. The start of a new relationship is a great opportunity… Start talking about money from the first date! Long-Term Partner or Spouse If you are in a long term relationship and hoping to set financial boundaries for the first time, your partner may initially feel confused, offended, shocked, annoyed, or hurt. This does not mean that what you are doing is wrong! Change can be difficult, especially when your partner, who you expect consistency from, is setting financial boundaries with you for the first time. This likely will not be a one time conversation, as change takes time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/eac6f7a1-8a4c-4176-bf6d-1aea18fa716d/pexels-orlovamaria-4969859.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - Financial Boundary Setting Tips for Dating and Relationships Ask yourself… Is a pre-nup or post-nup important to me? “I would like a pre-nup or post-nup to keep both of us safe, as we do not know what the future holds.” How much financial transparency do I need to feel safe and secure? “Financial transparency is important to me. I would like to know when you plan to open a new credit card or take out a loan as this impacts both of us.” How would I like to merge finances? “When we move in together, I would like to split rent equitably not equally. I am happy to split all other expenses equally. How does that feel to you?” Do I feel any sort of obligation or owing when someone pays for the first date? “I would like to pay for my own drinks tonight.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/baf420e6-c1f2-41d5-8ebc-c4b42e74a05d/pexels-leticiacurveloph-15662457.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 1. Reflect on Current Financial Boundaries In order to decide where you are headed, you need to know where you currently stand. You may, perhaps even unknowingly, have already set some financial boundaries. You may have very strict boundaries that you are hoping to ease up on. Ask yourself… How have I already set financial boundaries with people in my life? How have these financial boundaries served me? How have these financial boundaries been problematic for me? Are there financial boundaries that I have not yet set but would like to? Why have I not set these financial boundaries? What do I need in order to set these financial boundaries? How have my strict financial boundaries protected me or been in response to past experiences, relationships, etc.? How could less strict financial boundaries be beneficial at times? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5257cf21-5858-4b44-ace4-004391f73e5c/pexels-kampus-7159832.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 2. Explore Your Limitations Everyone has different levels of comfortability with different situations. Consider the following common situations that may call for financial boundary setting… Eating dinner at a restaurant How often am I financially able to eat at a restaurant? How do I feel about splitting the bill evenly versus on an individual basis? Gift giving for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries How do I feel about gift giving and gift receiving? When is it important for me to give a financial gift? What exact dollar amount do I feel comfortable gifting? - this amount may vary depending on the person. A friend, family, or partner asking for money Am I okay giving this person money knowing that I will have no say in how it is spent or used? Am I okay giving this person money knowing that they may never pay me back? In what non-financial ways am I able to help? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/7df1c6fe-a80e-49fc-8532-ed6eb5cf5542/pexels-cottonbro-4255409.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 3. Effective Communication All the reflection on your financial boundaries and exploration of your limitations is for nothing if you cannot effectively communicate your boundaries. Effective communication requires a degree of directness. Oftentimes, people try to soften the blow when enforcing boundaries. However, this typically results in unclear, confusing boundaries, creating further problems. Being direct does not mean that you are harsh or rude. Rather, being direct means being clear and firm. Write down your boundaries in simple, concise sentences using ‘I’ statements and specificity. Complete this template on communicating boundaries. Avoid statements such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not sure this works for me”, as they are vague and unclear. They also leave space for pushback. Ask for the other person’s understanding of your boundaries to ensure that you communicated clearly. “What is your understanding of what financial transparency means to me?” “Did I explain that well?” “Does that make sense?” “Was I clear?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/f1190d34-6aea-41e1-939a-8e2b29799574/istockphoto-1477904241-612x612.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 4. Practice Communicating Financial Boundaries If you are anticipating a specific conversation or situation in which you will have to set financial boundaries, practice! Practice with a friend, family member, your financial therapist, anyone. Practice in front of a mirror. Sure, it will probably feel a little strange or awkward, but practicing will give you the opportunity to find the correct wording. You will also get feedback that will help you to better navigate the conversation when it arises. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/b6c01b83-e7e4-4c20-9186-f5a55b50588b/pexels-ariel-paredes-1160955-2218208.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 5. Give Yourself Time We cannot possibly anticipate every financial boundary setting situation that will arise. Unique situations always present themselves. In some situations, you will have to make a decision in the moment. In other situations however, you may feel like you need to make a decision in the moment, when in fact, you have some time. If possible, learn how to give yourself time to reflect before making a quick decision. Practice saying… “I can let you know by this Saturday.” “I need to talk with your mom before making a decision. We make these decisions together.” “I am considering the opportunity, and I want to take a couple days to think it through further. I will follow up with you.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/79f1d09c-b060-4878-8b60-76ba6b2ad419/pexels-cristian-rojas-8065060.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 6. Positive Framing We often think of boundaries in the negative - what we cannot or will not do. Instead of focusing on what you cannot or will not do, share what you are willing to do. When we start a conversation with “No, I’m not going to…” or “You can’t continue to…”, the other person quickly becomes defensive, hurt, frustrated, etc. Consider the following clear, concise, direct, and positive approaches… “I am willing to pay your landlord directly for your rent” or “I will pay a certified financial therapist on your behalf.” “Giving you cash is not a long term solution. Instead, I can help you with your resume and help you look for a job. I can also drop the grandchildren off at daycare, so you can interview for jobs. ” “I would like to open a joint bank account that we only use for groceries. I do not feel comfortable merging 100% of our finances. A joint bank account is a small step I would like to take though.” “Cosigning a loan is not an option, but I can help you to find a loan that you do qualify for. I can also help you to create a savings plan, so you do not need a loan for this purchase.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3eb1f005-f59f-4a68-9a84-176115b76999/istockphoto-912835970-612x612.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 7. Manage Financial Expectations Managing expectations requires anticipatory communication. For example… “Today, we are going to the store. We can look at toys, but we cannot buy any.” Determining how you are going to split expenses, such as rent, groceries, etc., before moving in together - not after. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4c265601-efa5-47dc-a344-27fccc4dcc73/istockphoto-154222016-612x612.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 8. Follow Through Stating your boundaries is one thing, but following through with them - this can be the hardest part! After setting financial boundaries, you may feel guilty that your partner feels hurt or that your child feels sad. This may cause you to reconsider your boundaries, questioning and doubting yourself. Receiving pushback does not mean that your boundaries are unreasonable, unfair, or problematic. You have done the work (reflecting on current financial boundaries, exploring your limitations, managing expectations, etc.) to set these boundaries. Trust yourself and trust the process - not all boundaries will be well received. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/04b8198d-47ca-4056-9ee9-953f154bd84a/pexels-gustavo-fring-8770676.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 9. Consistency If you are effectively communicating your financial boundaries and following through with these boundaries, you are being consistent! Inconsistency with financial boundaries means that what you say and what you do are not aligned. Inconsistency can (and does) lead to confusion and boundary violations (either intentionally or unintentionally). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/cf11380d-5236-4f0d-83db-713d4a17d151/jed-villejo-pumko2FFxY0-unsplash.jpg Blog - 10 Practical Steps to Creating, Establishing, and Maintaining Financial Boundaries - 10. Financial Boundary Setting Support System Surround yourself with people who support you and your financial goals and decisions. Just as setting financial boundaries is an act of love, respecting the financial boundaries of others is also an act of love. If someone is not respecting your financial boundaries, consider discussing that with them. Ask yourself… Who has crossed my financial boundaries? How did I respond when my financial boundaries were crossed? How would I like to respond in the future when my financial boundaries are crossed? What financial boundaries have others set with me? How do I respond to the financial boundaries others have set with me? https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/6-financial-considerations-for-lgbtq-people monthly 0.5 2025-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3b9cf677-ef22-485b-9a39-15b36ae49672/pexels-gabriella-ally-3664539-13734188.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - ‘Queer Tax’: The Financial Price of Being Queer While 7.6% of US adults identify as LGBTQ (or 25 million adults nationwide), LGBTQ individuals and couples face unique financial considerations. Similar to the ‘singles tax’ and the ‘pink tax’, the ‘queer tax’, or the financial price of being queer, highlights systemic inequities and discrimination that impact the LGBTQ community financially. While it is difficult to calculate the exact financial price of being queer, it is clear that the ‘queer tax’ permeates LGBTQ financial health and wellbeing. While the journey to financial stability and wealth will look different for queer people and may be a longer and windier requiring more forethought and careful planning than for non-queer people, queer people can absolutely achieve financial stability and wealth. Awareness about and understanding of the unique financial considerations that LGBTQ people face is a great first step towards taking ownership and control of your finances and your financial future, and as support for LGBTQ people and queer rights continues to grow, the financial futures of LGBTQ people will continue to grow as well - the future is bright! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/de407afb-062e-4438-9062-be79f0d5a225/pexels-uriel-mont-6315331.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - Intersectionality and the Financial Price of Being Queer Just as queerness is a spectrum so is the financial price of being queer. Intersectionality cannot be ignored when exploring the financial price of being queer, as it can exacerbate financial challenges faced by queer individuals and couples. Queer people of color, queer people with disabilities, and queer youth have additional financial considerations that queer White, able-bodied adults simply do not. Again, being a queer person of color, queer person with a disability, and \ or queer youth does not mean that you cannot achieve financial stability and wealth. You absolutely can! Check out some BIPOC and \ or neurodivergent queer finfluencers (financial + influencers)… Leo Aquino of Queer and Trans Wealth Ellyce Fulmore of Queerd Co https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3e8b7c66-79ea-4b0d-bee4-0fe4c48ce15c/pexels-jessikaarraes-12126197.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - 1. Familial Financial Support Many queer people do not receive any financial support from their family. Queer couples are more than twice as likely to pay for their entire wedding themselves than their cis-hetero counterparts. Queer people are also less likely to receive inheritances from their parents or grandparents, and LGBTQ youth are disproportionately homeless. Sadly, all of these situations are due to non-acceptance, discrimination, and often complete rejection of queer people by their family members. While many queer people find comfort, love, and support in their chosen families, chosen family members are oftentimes (although not always) other queer people and \ or people of a similar socioeconomic status, who also do not have the means to provide financial support to one another. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5b5ae30c-e565-4748-b18c-33987c4b9516/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4649784.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - 2. Affordable and Safe Living For some queer couples, it is important that they live in an LGBTQ friendly city or state. The freedom to be themselves without having to worry about discrimination or difficulty accessing various medical, financial, and educational systems is worth the cost. Of the top 10 most expensive states in the US, only 2 have any anti-LGBTQ statewide laws or policies present. Rather, these states have many laws protecting LGBTQ people through anti-hate and pro-equality laws, such as protection from conversion therapy, all gender single occupancy restrooms, and parental presumption for same-sex couples. On the other hand, of the top 10 states with the lowest cost of living in the US, all of them have anti-LGBTQ statewide laws and policies present, including laws permitting discrimination in adoption placements, HIV\AIDS criminalization laws, transgender exclusions in state Medicaid coverage, and allowing or even requiring intentional misgendering of public-school students. Therefore LGBTQ people who want to live in a safe, supportive, and affirming city or state are going to pay a high price. Some LGBTQ people do not have a choice over where they live, and for those who do have a choice and choose to live in high cost of living areas, well of course they do! After all, who doesn’t want to feel safe and secure in their own city? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/23322eb8-d58b-47d2-a2d7-ac93063b4d81/pexels-cristian-rojas-8229894.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - 3. Employment Opportunities and Wages Discrimination as well as lack of inclusivity in the workplace can limit job opportunities for LGBTQ people. LGBTQ are at an extreme disadvantage in terms of wages, even more so when intersectionality, particularly race and ethnicity, is taken into consideration. According to the Human Rights Campaign, LGBQ people of color earn between 70 cents and 90 cents on every dollar that the typical worker earns, and transwomen, transmen, nonbinary, genderqueer, and two spirit workers earn between 60 cents and 70 cents on every dollar that the typical worker earns. These numbers are shocking! Unjust and discriminatory. Furthermore, in cis-hetero relationships, men and women are earning the most they possibly could given their identities. However, in queer relationships, neither person is earning the most that they possibly could. For example, as women are still paid significantly less compared to their male counterparts, two women in a relationship are at a financial deficit. Similar with two queer people of color in a relationship or two trans people in a relationship. Additionally, queer people all too often experience discrimination and harassment in the workplace. Discrimination and harassment can lead to more frequent job changes, gaps in employment, and fewer feasible job options. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ed076d1a-f0a7-4acb-88bd-e77ac7ec4c3c/pexels-artempodrez-6823408.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - 4. Gender Affirming Care According to every legitimate research and health care institution in the nation, gender affirming care is, indisputably and without a doubt, life-saving care. Unfortunately, gender affirming care can cost tens of thousands of dollars, between surgeries, hormones, lost wages from after surgery recovery, and inadequate health insurance coverage. Therefore, many trans and non-binary people in need of gender affirming care are either unable to access it or utilize high interest personal loans or credit cards to cover the cost of care. The cost to be oneself is far too high. Gender affirming care can be medical or non-medical. Gender affirming medical care can be a one time expense, such as a surgery, or ongoing throughout life, such as hormones. Similarly, gender affirming non-medical care can be a one time expense, such as changing gender markers on all forms of identification, or ongoing throughout life, such as mental health therapy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3350d050-28b4-4ee0-91af-9636e0e05460/pexels-karolina-grabowska-7946591.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - 5. Family Planning Queer couples grow their families in many ways, including IUI, IVF, reciprocal IVF, surrogacy, adoption, and more! While some cis-hetero couples experience the high costs of infertility, many (albeit not all) queer couples will need to spend a significant amount of money (tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousands) in order to grow their families. Unfortunately, most health insurance plans do not cover any of these costs, and some states even have laws making it difficult to access this type of care. In addition to the costs of conception itself, queer couples have legal costs, such as second parent adoption, parental rights confirmation, etc. Unfortunately, lack of transparency in the healthcare industry as well as the many unknowns and unexpecteds of family planning can make it difficult to financially prepare to grow your family. The range a couple may have to pay is huge - from inconsequential to considerable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/71437975-58af-423f-b939-89b36a198cab/pexels-yankrukov-7314979.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - 6. Access to Lines of Credit While the Equal Credit Opportunity Act prohibits creditors from discriminating against people based on sexual orientational and gender, queer people still report significantly more difficulty accessing lines of credit than non-queer people. Additionally, 73% of queer people reported feeling discriminated against by mortgage lenders. The Equal Credit Opportunity Act is, of course, a step in the right direction, and it is also, just that, a step. In addition to experiencing discrimination and difficulty accessing lines of credit, queer people have substantially more debt than non-queer people. While 13% of US citizens have student loan debt, a startling 39% of LGBTQ adults and 51% of transgender adults have student loan debt. Difficulty accessing lines of credit may also be due to the ripple affect - lower wages, lack of familial support, and living in high cost of living cities due to needing LGBTQ protections can lead to an increased need for student loans, private loans, credit cards, etc. Increased debt leads to difficulty accessing future debt. Difficulty accessing debt can lead queer people to predatory high-cost lending, such as pay day loans, pawn shops, etc. Fortunately, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is working to expand protections to LGBTQ people as they are disproportionately targeted by predatory lenders. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/622a3db6-0c9a-48ae-bea3-d5110a2dac7d/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4834228.jpg Blog - 6 Financial Considerations for LGBTQ People [With Tips for My Fellow Queers and for All You Allies!] - *Queer Success The queer community has achieved so much progress and success and continues to have an upward trajectory! If personal finance and money management feel stressful to you as a queer person, remember… You have already overcome so much more than money - you’ve got this! Queer progress has been slow but steady - similarly, changing your financial circumstances will not happen overnight, but it is certainly worth the fight. You are not alone - money can be very overwhelming and confusing. Consider taking these therapeutic steps to change the direction of your financial journey. Take money management at your own pace - just as your queer journey is yours and yours alone, your financial journey is too. The path may not be linear, but you will get there on your own time. Money is important and it certainly isn’t everything. Knowing and loving yourself is first and foremost - happy pride! https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/9-home-buying-and-homeownership-beliefs-myths-debunked monthly 0.5 2025-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/218fba5e-ba58-40e2-a1b1-3cd559f10f25/pexels-linafoxy-8341944.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked *Disclaimer This post is not an argument to not purchase a home. This post is intended to challenge commonly held beliefs about homeownership. While reading this post, I encourage you to… Pay particular attention to any feelings of discomfort, defensiveness, and resistance that may arise and be curious about why you may be experiencing these feelings. Keep an open mind and consider how incorporating these new ideas into your belief system will help you to have a better understanding of yourself and your decision making process. Share and \ or discuss this post with a friend or family member to hear a range of perspectives. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/1a47150b-1050-4f03-9e02-cf7c7d44af17/pexels-tatianasyrikova-3849963.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - Homeownership is Deeply Emotional Whether you are a first time home buyer, empty nesters downsizing, or vacation home buyers, the decision to be a homeowner of any kind at any time is deeply emotional. First time home buyers may be filled with excitement, envisioning starting and raising a family in their new home. Empty nesters downsizing may be filled with grief, confronting aging or identity loss, or perhaps filled with anticipation, new beginnings and opportunity abundant. And vacation home buyers may be filled with hope, imagining more frequent weekend getaways with family and friends. Interestingly though, societally we rarely discuss how our emotions drive our decision to be homeowners. Rather, we claim our decision to be homeowners is purely rational. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/bf102054-d53e-45f8-9260-be046b0f8b2f/pexels-blue-bird-7210432.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - The Homeownership Grass Is Not Always Greener Oftentimes, first time home buyers are fed-up. Fed-up with their landlord. Fed-up with their roommates. Fed-up with sharing a washer and dryer. The grass on the homeownership side seems greener. However, homeowners are also fed-up. Fed-up with unexpected, expensive repairs. Fed-up with contacting plumbers. Fed-up with squirrels in the garage. Unfortunately, mainstream messages about renting versus homeownership are a one way street - suggesting that all renters would rather be homeowners and that no homeowners would ever want to be renters. This is simply not true - the grass on the renter side can absolutely seem greener. In fact, home buying regret is shockingly high. According to Experian, 93% of homebuyers in 2023 had regrets about home buying. Even homebuyers who were able to lock in historically low mortgage rates in 2020 and 2021 have expressed feelings of regret, as they feel trapped in the home that they purchased and cannot imagine ever buying a home with a higher mortgage rate. So while most people believe that homeownership is superior to renting, the lived experience of the vast majority of Americans is not that. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/95b73860-a1a1-4681-b4f9-90aa375e2035/pexels-r-54516136-14110828.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 1. “The American dream.” While times have changed and homeownership has become increasingly difficult particularly in major US cities, our belief in the American dream remains stagnant. Buying a home is seen as the epitome of the American dream - more so even than obtaining a college degree or raising a family. The initial idea of the American dream is beautiful and well intended. However, just as the constitution needs amendments to reflect changing times and to meet the nation’s needs, the American dream also needs to evolve to take into consideration inaccessible and unaffordable health care and higher education as well as home prices rising faster than wages. Consider how the American dream feels and what it means to you non-materially. Perhaps the American dream is physical and financial safety and security or perhaps it is freedom of self-expression. Ask yourself the following... What does buying a home and homeownership mean to me? Why is buying a home and homeownership so important to me? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/767482f6-5f93-4887-89f5-8dbc6b882cc2/pexels-cottonbro-4554393.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 2. “I will finally be successful once I own a home.” The idea that homeownership is the be-all and end-all of success is untrue on multiple levels. First, there are many individuals and families that will never be able to afford a home despite hard work and motivation as well as individuals and families that do not want to buy a home. Their inability to buy a home or decision not to buy a home in no way means that they are not successful. Their success may be abundant with or without homeownership. Secondly, success is not necessarily material or physically attainable. Success may come in the form of learning (about oneself or the world), growth, forgiveness, acceptance, etc. Thirdly, homeownership is not included in the definition of success. Societally, we have decided to include homeownership as an indicator of success. Fortunately, this means that societally we can also work together to change this. Finally, success is often a moving goal post. Once you own a home, then you need to renovate the kitchen. Once the kitchen is renovated, then you need a new car. And on and on. Practice recognizing the successes that you have made that do not involve material goods or homeownership. Ask yourself… What does success mean to me? Can I be successful without ever owning a home? Why or why not? How do those around me define success differently? What can I learn from their definitions of success? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/9826915e-c4a5-4d07-afd8-ad8bfdca8ce1/pexels-cottonbro-5998824.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 3. “My parents owned a home at my age.” If you are a Millennial or Gen-Z, your parents most certainly owned a home at your age. Unfortunately, home prices have risen faster than wages; therefore, holding yourself to a standard that was set decades ago is not only unrealistic but also unfair to you. You deserve realistic expectations. Interestingly, Millennials and Gen-Z do not compare themselves to their parents in other ways. For example, Millennials and Gen-Z do not say “My parents were married with three children by 25 years old, so I should be too.” Rather, Millennials and Gen-Z are getting married significantly later than their parents and the birth rate is declining meaning Millennials and Gen-Z are having fewer children per household with an increasing number of households having no children at all. Consider all that you have done that your parents were never able to do (study, move to another city, travel, etc.). Ask yourself… How is my generation different than my parents’ generation? Why do I feel like I have to be like my parents? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a3e77913-64b6-431e-a1ea-79bd03f8b690/pexels-kindelmedia-7578907.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 4. “I will be happier if I own a home.” Many people believe that homeownership will automatically make them happier. However, homeownership is a lot of ongoing work, time, and money. Sometimes, the idea of something is actually better than the experience of it. According to the National Library of Medicine, “home buyers systematically overestimate their future life satisfaction”, and home buyers who value success and income “make larger prediction errors about their future satisfaction with life around the purchase of property” than home buyers who value social relationships, family, and experiences. Homebuying in and of itself will not make you happier. Additionally, every decision has financial implications, especially home buying. Assuming a mortgage that is $2,500 more per month than rent may mean fewer annual vacations, less money towards retirement, or waiting to buy a new car. You may feel happy that you own a home and also sad that you are giving up other opportunities. Consider when you have felt most happy in life, and ask yourself… What were you doing? Who were you with? What were the circumstances? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5f6d3f4d-9b28-497e-b733-16f3361f2c5b/GettyImages-1248481309-b4d4fa3fcefc46e7b0844f5f5294b7ee.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 5. “Homeownership is the best investment.” Warren Buffet, the tenth richest person in the world, has said that renting would have been a financially wiser decision than home buying. Additionally, JL Collins, the godfather of the Financial Independence movement and author of The Simple Path to Wealth, insists that homeownership is not an investment. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/463ad22b-c1e4-46d4-b183-6394dadde5f2/pexels-blue-bird-7218008.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 6. “Renting is just throwing money away.” Renting has so many advantages! To name a couple… Freedom and flexibility - Renters have freedom and flexibility that homeowners simply do not. Renters can explore living in different neighborhoods, cities, states, or even countries depending on changes in their desires and life circumstances. Renters can break a lease, losing a few thousand dollars at most (some renters can even break a lease without losing any money). Homeowners, on the other hand, break a mortgage, because they want to explore living in a new city. Less responsibility - Renters do not have to repair their own toilet or fix a broken washing machine. Their landlord or building manager takes care of the issue. Renters also do not have to pay for costly repairs or replacements. These advantages have a price. A price that is worth paying for many people. Renters are not throwing money away. Renters are simply spending their money differently than homeowners. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/9b009615-602d-4026-851d-c9a3c71e10a5/pexels-mikebirdy-211758.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 7. “If I don’t buy a home now, I’ll never be able to afford one.” If the Covid pandemic taught us anything, it is that the future is uncertain and unpredictable. We cannot anticipate what the stock market or the housing market will do. What we do know is that home prices, mortgage rates, supply, and demand will all ebb and flow. Home values do not always rise. Natural disasters, recessions, climate change, political legislation, and more can change home values. 100 years ago, St. Louis was the 6th most populous city in the US. Now, St. Louis is the 76th most populous city. Past results are not a guarantee of future results. Ask yourself… Would I still like to buy a home if the value depreciates? Why do I believe that I will never be able to buy a home in the future? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/60d11e04-3c32-4cf3-a682-463582ede5be/pexels-rdne-8293693.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 8. “Everyone owns a home except for me.” It may feel like everyone owns a home except for you. However, just 26% of Gen Z and 54% of Millennials own homes. Furthermore, 70%-78% of Gen X, Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation own homes. To break this down, 3 of every 4 Gen Z, 1 of every 2 Millennials, and 1 of every 4 Gen Xers, Baby Boomers, and Silent Gen rent! So while it might feel like everyone owns a home, not everyone does. Consider what is right for you and how that might be different from what is right for someone else. Ask yourself… What do I feel when I compare myself to others? What do I feel when one of my peers purchases a home? How do my peers influence my behaviors? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d848e410-90cf-40b0-9363-0e05e4535a35/pexels-tima-miroshnichenko-6321641.jpg Blog - 9 Home Buying and Homeownership Beliefs \ Myths Debunked - 9. “I need to own a home in order to raise a family.” First, ask yourself - why? Children only know what they know - for children, home is home, whether it is an apartment or a house, rented or owned, in New York or Tulsa. Children raised in an apartment are no more or less happy than children raised in home. Children raised in apartments go on to live full, happy, and ‘successful’ lives just as children raised in homes do. Read more about the many advantages of raising children in an apartment in KidSpot and ParentCircle. Ask yourself… What money messages will my child receive by growing up in a home or an apartment that we rent instead of a home that we own? What other opportunities am I able to give my child because we rent instead of own? What did my child-self need most in order to grow and flourish? https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/25-transformative-money-affirmations-part-2 monthly 0.5 2025-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/2edf45c5-d018-4c96-9e3f-532522509439/pexels-julia-larson-6455898.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part II] - Financial Empowerment Affirmations It is difficult to make change, financial or otherwise, if we do not feel empowered to do so. You do not need to earn or have a lot of money in order to have an empowered mindset or to be empowered. If you feel hopeless about your financial circumstances, focus on creating financial empowerment affirmations. After all, financial empowerment affirmations are the first step in making financial changes and achieving your financial goals. Templates I am going to be honest with myself and others about my financial circumstances. I have made difficult changes in life. This is another difficult change that I am capable of making. I can learn more about personal finance, even though it feels overwhelming. Little by little. I am working on changing my belief that I am ‘bad with money.’ I have a lot to learn and room for growth, and I am excited to progress. I do not earn a lot of money but that does not mean that I am financially irresponsible. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ea8a3726-9534-4301-9b40-e6e0035fe1eb/iStock-1332558192.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part II] - Employment Affirmations Our jobs, including the specific work we do every day, our coworkers, our bosses, and our organization’s mission and benefits, deeply impact every aspect of lives. As we spend one third of our lives at work (which does not include time we spend thinking about work, driving to work, getting ready for work, etc.), our jobs inevitably and unavoidably impact our mental health, physical health, relationships, and financial wellbeing. Reflect on how your work supports our health, relational, lifestyle, and financial goals. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/f8c4356a-f77e-4b16-87e5-1f3b5ced9d56/pexels-august-de-richelieu-4427611.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part II] - Templates I am setting boundaries on the number of hours I am willing to work weekly. The more I work, the more I earn, but my mental health and work life balance are a priority. I am going to ask my boss for the merit based raise I deserve, even though I am nervous. The worst she can say is no. I will research jobs that I would like in the future, so I know the qualifications and requirements, and I can start working towards them now. My side job is only temporary. If I feel overwhelmed, I will take a step back. Once I pay off my credit card debt, I will also take a step back. I feel confident that I am qualified for other jobs. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/edc37750-b7db-4981-a715-2ef45272a6b6/MM16_Hiearchy-of-Financial-Needs-Share-1000x600.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part II] - Saving Affirmations Saving money is foundational in establishing financial safety and security. Saving money is also essential in order to move through the financial hierarchy and ultimately to be able to accumulate wealth, achieve financial independence and financial freedom, and leave a legacy or inheritance. For some, saving comes naturally. While for others, saving requires more thought and effort. If saving requires more thought and effort for you, consider your goals for the future and how saving may help you to achieve these goals. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ae7ba9f7-48d5-41da-a4ef-2127a37f00d8/iStock-1132647560.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part II] - Templates I do not have to be able to save a lot to start saving. Each and every dollar adds up over time. I will not regret saving $20 today. As my income increases, I will thoughtfully and selectively inflate my lifestyle, so I can also save more money. I am saving money to have peace of mind, to sleep more soundly. I will consider the financial implications of everyday decisions. I will check my bank account every day for the next month, even though it is scary. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/431ec83c-fede-4222-beed-22a075e44408/pexels-karolina-grabowska-4968649.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part II] - Wealth Affirmations Whether you have earned wealth, inherited wealth, or would one day like to have more wealth, wealth can bring up many complicated feelings. We all have different definitions of wealth, often based on our upbringing, and also different beliefs about wealth (‘wealthy people are greedy’, ‘wealth is not accessible for everyone’, ‘increased wealth would solve all of my probelms’, etc.) and relationships to wealth (entitlement, guilt, desire, etc.). Reflect on how your beliefs about wealth and relationship to wealth are or are not helping you to achieve your financial goals and to improve your overall wellbeing. Templates I can have money and be a good person. These are not mutually exclusive. I have a lot of money and still feel unfulfilled. Money does not bring fulfillment. I am searching for what does fulfill me. There is no inherent shame in feeling worried about money even though I am a millionaire. If I am always striving for more money, I will never feel like I have enough. Instead, I am accepting and appreciating where I am at. Peace and contentment must come from within me. I will reflect on different types of wealth that I do have - physical health, social relationships, etc. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/34109cd4-32ed-4082-a13a-5a83c91fb5db/iStock-1224373316.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part II] - Hobbies and Interests Affirmations Oftentimes, when people begin their journey to financial stability, they eliminate spending in the category of hobbies and interests. However, engaging in our hobbies and interests is an important part of maintaining our mental health and wellbeing. Eliminating your hobbies and interests all together may ultimately negatively impact your finances. Instead of immediately eliminating your hobbies and interests, take a minute to evaluate them (how important a hobby is to you, how often you engage in a specific hobby, etc.) and create a path forward that permits you to achieve your financial goals while still engaging in your hobbies and interests. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/199c6131-1c08-4dc6-9410-59b493d7d979/pexels-tima-miroshnichenko-5045943.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part II] - Templates Spending money on a gym membership and healthy food is a long term investment in my health. It is important to me to spend money on quality skin care products, because I have acne. Having clear skin increases my confidence and self-esteem. I will sort through all the video games that I have and sell or donate five before purchasing a new game. I do not need to purchase the ‘best’ bike in order to purchase a bike. I can purchase a bike within a reasonable price range that meets my need of commuting three miles to work each day. Before investing in a hobby, I will consider how likely I am to actually follow through with this hobby. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/6-unique-steps-to-improve-your-emotional-spending-habits monthly 0.5 2024-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4dc02375-5dcf-463c-9f9f-11abfe23b8d7/pexels-liza-summer-6383282.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - Emotional Spending Stigma ‘Emotional spending’ has a negative connotation. A quick Google search of ‘emotional spending’ tells the story… “I suffer from emotional spending.” “How to avoid emotional spending?” “How to overcome emotional spending?” “70% of Americans admit to emotional spending.” “Is emotional spending taking over your life?” As a society, we associate emotional spending with suffering, impulsivity, and ineptitude. We have othered ‘emotional spenders’ by believing that they are inferior, irresponsible, and lack self-control. The tragic result of this othering - shame and loneliness. Immense amounts of shame and loneliness. Ironically though, we all emotionally spend and have probably all felt some shame due to emotionally spending. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4fd73263-eb18-4565-8bfc-b23b04b64e31/pexels-kseniachernaya-7301132.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - Emotional Spending | We All Do It! Emotional spending is not inherently bad, wrong, or problematic. It is inherently human. We all emotionally spend, because we are all human. We all have feelings, and (I wouldn’t be a Certified Financial Therapist if I did not truly believe) money management is not purely rational. In fact, almost all spending is emotional spending. We spend because… We feel a certain way We want to feel a certain way We want to avoid feeling a certain way If you feel that your emotional spending is negatively impacting your financial wellness or if you would like to better understand your spending habits, you can take the following steps to increase control of your emotional spending. If you feel that you do not emotionally spend or that your emotional spending does not impact your financial wellness, I encourage (*challenge) you to read step 1 below. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a2160d94-7a5b-4368-b723-77d3406a9cf8/pexels-reyna-montgomery-229756504-12093805.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - 1. Identify Your Emotional Spending Types There are a number of emotional spending types. You may quickly and strongly relate with some and less so with others. Identifying the types of emotional spending that you engage in will help you to gain clarity about if you would like to address your habits. If you decide that you would like to improve your habits, your specific emotional spending types will inform the next steps. Confidence Spending Whether you spend a lot of money on hair products due to your alopecia or on skin care products due to your acne or on new clothes since you gained or lost weight or since your recent gender affirming surgery, you are spending on your confidence and self-esteem. It is okay to want to feel good! Increased confidence and self-esteem can lead to increased motivation, reduced social anxiety, better work performance, and more! If you are confidence spending, consider also spending money to increase your internal confidence by working with a mental health therapist. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/41f63113-de61-4e94-94db-246214e34668/pexels-introspectivedsgn-4061386.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - Hopeful Spending Sometimes, we really want to (or even do) believe that purchasing a Stanley Quencher or a Louis Vuitton will create change. Change in our self-perception. Change in others’ perception of us. Change in our meaning, purpose, potential, motivation, etc. We think, “If only I had a sit-to-stand desk, I would be so much more productive at work” or “If only I had my own apartment, I would be in a relationship.” Sometimes, purchases really can create change. More often than not though, they do not. If you are hopeful spending, make a list of other ways you can create the change you are seeking. Hopelessness Spending Hopelessness spending is common with people who are in debt. For example, a hopelessness spender may think, “Saving $10 is not going to help with my $40,000 student loan debt”. This type of thinking is a slippery slope, leading to ongoing spending and increased debt. You cannot pay off a $40,000 debt without the first $10. Hopelessness spending is also common with people with depression or suicidal ideation, who spend money because “It does not matter anyway.” If you are experiencing extreme hopelessness, depression, or suicidal ideation, you can get help at the Suicide and Crisis Hotline. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c33b3144-02e7-4765-8dd0-361d05104c9e/pexels-tahaasamett-9961852.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits Entitlement Spending A very common entitlement spending thought is “I work hard. I deserve this.” You do work hard! You do deserve this! You also deserve an emergency savings account that brings you emotional safety and security and allows you to sleep soundly at night. You also deserve to be able to afford a vacation and to one day retire! If you are entitlement spending, reflect on why you feel entitled - dig deeper than ‘I work hard.’ Make a list of non-material things that you deserve. If you think you may be overworking, consider attending a Workaholics Anonymous meeting. Insecure Spending The proverbial ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ or ‘Imposter Syndrome’ spending can also be categorized as insecure spending. While at Happy Hour with friends, they decide to order dinner in addition to drinks. So as not to let on that we cannot afford dinner, we order a large plate of nachos. In this case, our own insecurities are driving our spending. We worry what our friends will think if we do not order dinner. Your friends are probably not thinking about that though. As Rich Dad Poor Dad author Robert Kiyosaki says “No one cares more about it [your money] than you.” If you are insecure spending, create some spending affirmations for yourself using these templates. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/59fc9d23-e486-4e97-b274-574b3e752937/pexels-shvetsa-3905727.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - Fear Spending Fear spending comes from a scarcity belief. In late March 2020, grocery store shelves around the country were completely empty. We truly feared that we may never be able to purchase toilet paper again, so we purchased as much as we possibly could. The idea of scarcity drives fear spending. Sales create similar thoughts, such as “The sale ends tonight at 9pm, so I must purchase this right now.” While we know that there will be another sale (probably starting tomorrow), our fear propels us to make the purchase immediately. If you are fear spending, consider the likelihood your fear will actually happen before making a purchase and complete this What Could Happen worksheet. Exhaustion Spending When we are physically and \ or emotionally exhausted, we have less self-control. After a long day of work, we spend money on DoorDash so we do not have to cook. While shopping with our child who has a tantrum about a new toy, we give in and purchase it, so they will stop crying. While exhaustion spending might feel like the answer in the moment, it is a band-aid. Not a cure. If you are exhaustion spending, consider what you can do to rest and take care of yourself. Create a list of cures. For example, the answer to exhaustion spending may be setting better work boundaries or delegating. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/349e723b-3b20-4505-af37-588c25d67ebc/pexels-rdne-6669845.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - Revenge Spending Societally, revenge spending has been particularly common in the past two years. Spending was limited during the pandemic, and according to the Federal Reserve, Americans saved substantially more during 2020 and 2021 as a percentage of their income than ever before. In response, people are overcompensating and excessively spending money, particularly on travel, in an effort to reclaim lost years. Revenge spending can also happen within a relationship. For example, someone purchases a new 85 inch tv. Their partner, upset about the purchase, purchases a brand new i-Phone and Apple watch. This tit-for-tat spending can escalate and create financial difficulties, such as credit card debt. Another form of revenge spending within a relationship is in response to emotional harm. For example, “My partner cheated on me, so I deserve to buy this.” If you are revenge spending in a relationship, learn more about healthy versus toxic relationships, as revenge spending can be indicative of other problems within a relationship. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/608f1beb-f132-4ba0-acc0-84e4215c3658/pexels-cottonbro-4114913.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - Indecisive Spending Some of us are indecisive. We hate making decisions. In an effort to avoid making the wrong decision at all costs (pun intended), we make several purchases. We did not actually have to make a decision - problem solved! Or not. Indecisive spending can take a toll on your finances and can also leave you with more ‘stuff’ than you need or have physical space for. Other people who are indecisive avoid making the wrong decision by simply not spending money. If you are indecisive spending, practice validating your past purchases to build your confidence. Remember that most purchases are reversible - commit to a decision and know that, worst case scenario, you can change your decision later. Boredom Spending Some people scroll Instagram or Tik Tok when they are bored. Other people binge The Ultimatum: Queer Love (still waiting for Season 2!). And others online shop. Online shopping is soothing, decompressing, and enjoyable. Online shopping also provides a dopamine hit, which is why boredom spending is particularly common with people who have ADHD. While boredom spending is not meant to cause any harm, over time it can lead to significant financial stress. If you are boredom spending, make a list of other activities that you can do. When you feel bored, refer to this list before online shopping. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d97e9aa8-8bec-4921-a6d7-361217b4b987/pexels-wendywei-2959611.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - 2. Differentiation Now that you are aware of your emotional spending types, you can differentiate yourself from them. You may carry a lot of shame about yourself due to the stigma of emotional spending. It is time to let go of the shame. Emotional spending is what you do (a behavior). Not who you are (an identity). Write a list of your identities (parent, sibling, coworker, surfer, artist, teacher, etc.) and positive qualities. Write down one behavior you would like to change. Reflect on how your identities and positive qualities will help you in changing this behavior. Reconstruct your thinking errors. Old thought: I am a revenge spender. New thought: Sometimes, I spend money when I am hurt in an effort to seek revenge. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/35a77923-236b-4d8b-bfc1-ebdc6cc0c029/pexels-n-voitkevich-5712696.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - 3. Slow. Down. Slowing down is a crucial step to improving your emotional spending. We move so fast. Slowing down will allow you to become more aware of your habits as well as the drivers of your behaviors. After all, if you do not recognize that you are emotionally spending as you are emotionally spending, you cannot change the habit. Notice your emotional spending triggers by asking, “What people, situations, time of day or year cause me to engage more in this type of emotional spending?” Pay attention to your feelings before, during and after spending. To learn more about the advantages of slowness, watch Carl Honoré’s TedTalk In Praise of Slowness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3fb2d2b1-0d40-4212-bdab-7e791e6c0b5b/pexels-monstera-3363111.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - 4. Evaluate Your Purchase. Now that you have slowed down and collected data on your emotional spending types and triggers, you can ask yourself the following reflective questions before making a purchase... How do I feel right now? What is my motivation, true intention for making this purchase? Based on how I have felt in the past, how will I feel one month from now about this purchase? Is this an emotional spending behavior that I am trying to change? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/f17125f7-e55f-4f48-8d82-9d2bcd733c14/pexels-marcus-aurelius-4063856.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - After answering the reflective questions, you can evaluate your purchase further with the following logical questions… Do I already own this? What is the price per use of this item? You are considering buying a $50 shirt. You will wear the shirt 5 times. The price of the shirt is $10 per use. What is the cost per hour worked? You earn $20 an hour. You are considering buying a $100 video game. The video game will cost you 5 hours of your hard work (6 hours if you factor in income tax on your work and sales tax on the video game). Is this purchase worth the opportunity cost? The opportunity cost is the next best thing you could purchase that you are giving up to make this purchase. For example, you can purchase a $250 plane ticket or the next best option. Maybe the next best option is Charlie XCX tickets. Maybe the next best option is paying down $250 of your credit card debt. To learn more about opportunity costs, read Having Fun With Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Types. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/8b396a74-8d80-474e-9888-1cdab60e8a1e/pexels-divinetechygirl-1181719.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - 5. Consult a friend, family member, partner, or Certified Financial Therapist. Ask someone to talk through the purchase with you. Inform them that they are not to tell you what to do but rather to help you think through the purchase (pros, cons, etc.). You are building the skill of critically thinking about your spending and your emotions. For many people, externally processing can bring clarity. Find a Certified Financial Therapist https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/be1e39ef-3fda-4465-a13f-9f150b752185/pexels-lum3n-44775-294674.jpg Blog - 6 Unique Steps to Improve Your Emotional Spending Habits - 6. Be Patient. Emotional spending habits are exactly that - habits - and changing habits does not happen over night. Expect to take two steps forward, one step back, four steps forward, five steps back, and on and on. If you are committed to making a change though, you will make progress. Give it time - it will be worth it. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/having-fun-with-financial-trade-offs-5-common-trade-off-types monthly 0.5 2024-05-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0c649142-e516-46a0-b7d0-6fdbcd290bb6/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4669819.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - Trade-offs are Everywhere. Everywhere. Trade-offs are simply a game of ‘Would You Rather’. Would you rather sleep in, cuddle, and then sit in traffic or wake up early and have a quick and painless commute? Would you rather take a nonstop flight or scenic road trip to visit your friend out of state? Would you rather eat Thai food or Indian food for dinner tonight? Would you rather watch Breaking Bad (your obvious favorite) or the highly anticipated new season of Sort Of? All day every day we are consciously and subconsciously making trade-offs. The trade-offs we make may be based on impulse, logic, personal preference, etc. Regardless, trade-offs exist, because we cannot do and cannot have everything all at once. We cannot sleep in and have a quick commute. We cannot take a quick flight and a scenic road trip simultaneously. Unfortunately, we cannot eat Thai food and Indian food for dinner…maybe this is how fusion was created? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/507401eb-aeae-42b8-ba3a-8fa4750f90ff/pexels-julia-volk-5273044.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - Are Trade-offs Sacrifices? | Yes…And No. As the great financial journalist and podcaster Paula Pant says “You can afford anything…but not everything.” We are constantly and often unknowingly making trade-offs - many of which are seemingly insignificant. Due to the shear magnitude of trade-offs we make in a day, we could not possibly contemplate them all. If we were to dwell on every trade-off, we would be immobilized. So while trade-offs are based in scarcity, as we have to choose how to use limited resources (money, time, energy, etc.), more often than not trade-offs do not feel like sacrifices. They feel like choices. They feel like moving through our day. However, when a trade-off creates emotional turmoil, it no longer feels like a choice but rather a sacrifice. While much less frequent, we notice and remember these sacrificial trade-offs much more vividly than everyday non-consequential trade-offs, simply because the decision making process hurts. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d0a042f3-c37b-4b62-bdf2-7cc04dbf92a7/pexels-ron-lach-8387120.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - Duality of Trade-offs | No Right or Wrong Answers! ‘Would You Rather’ has no objectively right or wrong answers. Therein lies the fun - shocking your friends with your decision, defending your decision to your coworkers, and attempting to convince your family to change their minds. No right or wrong answers can feel overwhelming and stressful to some and exciting and empowering to others. If no right or wrong answers feels overwhelming and stressful to you, remember the following… The answer that is right for you is wrong for someone else (and vice versa). Consider this - your friend purchases one outfit and you purchase another. Neither of you purchased the right outfit. You both purchased the outfit that fits you best, that you feel most comfortable and confident in. As you should! Only you hold the answer. Perhaps you are choosing between $500 Beyonce tickets and a roundtrip flight from New York to Paris. You choose Beyonce, and your friend chooses Paris. Great! Or maybe not so great. Maybe, your friend choosing Paris has you doubting Beyonce (never doubt the Queen B). Knowing yourself - your wants, needs, desires, values, etc. - allows you to make the best decision for you and to feel assured in yourself and your decisions. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/55516898-b4a1-44ac-9e1f-4ececdb365e6/pexels-kovyrina-3678919.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - The Trade-off Illusion | “I’m the only one making trade-offs.” You are not alone in making trade-offs. We all make trade-offs constantly. However, we oftentimes do not see the trade-offs that others are making. For example, you see your former partner on Instagram with a gorgeous new home while you are still renting. The envy quickly kicks in. “Why do they get to buy a home, and I am stuck in this apartment?” You ignore the trade-offs they have made - not affording a car due to the home purchase and therefore taking the bus two hours roundtrip to work for the foreseeable future, working a second part time job to afford the down payment, etc. They traded-off time, comfort, convenience, proximity, accessibility - the list goes on and on. Ask yourself… How can understanding the trade-offs I make help me to understand the financial trade-offs others are making? How might someone else have made a different decision based off their priorities and values? How might I feel differently about myself if I saw and understood the trade-offs others were making? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/39b792b4-cf67-4b57-a901-f0f861bf559f/pexels-lena-shekhovtsova-827912-1959503.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - Financial Trade-offs | Super Bowl Tickets or A New Moped? Every choice has a cost. That is okay. The key is knowing that the choice has a cost and choosing the cost that you want to pay. When we spend money, we no longer have that money. We cannot put that money towards anything else. We have made the choice to give up other opportunities in exchange for this opportunity. An opportunity cost (only slightly different than trade-offs) is simply the next best thing you are giving up in exchange for something else. When considering financial trade-offs, ask yourself… What is the opportunity cost of this decision? Between my two best options, which most closely aligns with my values, goals and priorities? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ff8dd9fc-258d-41b2-91c6-60515860c8f9/pexels-norma-mortenson-7301597.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - Mental Health Trade-offs | Taylor Swift or Safety and Security? Sometimes, we are not deciding between one purchase and another purchase, rather we are choosing between one purchase and an investment in our financial and emotional well being. For example, you are considering purchasing $500 Taylor Swift tickets. Alternatively, you could pay down an additional $500 of your student loan debt. Some people hate living with debt. The thought of going to a Taylor Swift concert instead of paying down their student loan debt is horrifying. They know that they will sleep more soundly being $500 closer to debt freedom. On the other hand, some people know that the Taylor Swift concert is a once in an era (see what I did there?) opportunity and will cherish the memory forever. Again, there are no right or wrong answers and it is important to know the trade-off that you are making, so you can make the most informed decision. What is the cost of this purchase - both financial and emotional? What is the return of this purchase - both financial and emotional? Which cost is greater, and which return is greater? Is the cost worth the return? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/51fe777b-db9a-453a-97da-b74a1794070c/pexels-n-voitkevich-7173047.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - Future Trade-offs | Now or Later? By choosing to make a purchase today, you may be sacrificing future opportunities. Most of us have long forgotten high school algebra, so a quick refresh - compound interest means that you are receiving interest on the money you initially invested as well as any previously accrued interest. Therefore, investing your money has a snowball effect over time. Back to Beyonce - If you were to invest $500 into your retirement today instead of purchasing a $500 Beyonce ticket, you would have approximately $8,725 in thirty years. So the decision you are making is not between a $500 Beyonce ticket and $500 towards your retirement. The decision you are making is between a $500 Beyonce ticket today and $8,725 thirty years from now. If you think I am trying to convince you not to buy the Beyonce ticket, keep reading! Have fun with Grant Sabatier’s Future Value Calculator which calculates the future value of a purchase you make today. Think about your long term goals and how your decisions today impact your ability to achieve these goals. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/126aa552-1ffb-4212-ba08-f6d1d8398a06/pexels-kampus-6922166.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - Physical Health Trade-offs | Video Game or Gym Membership? Our health impacts us all day, every day. It impacts our ability to play with our grandchildren, to travel the world, and to something. Finances and our physical health are intertwined on a number of levels. According to Purdue University, financial stress can cause physical health problems including headaches, sleep loss, high blood pressure, digestive issues, etc. While working two jobs to mitigate financial anxiety may seem like the answer, it could actually contribute to health complications as you do not have time to care for your body - ultimately, increasing your healthcare expenses. Healthier options usually have higher associated costs. While walking through the grocery store, we are engaging in a number of health trade-offs - carrots and hummus or Flamin’ Hot Cheetos? Conventional or organic eggs? Healthcare and healthy living is arguably worthwhile for everyone. However, it is also incredibly expensive and is not an option for the vast majority of people. The health-wealth trade-off is a vicious cycle. Finding a balance that works for you is crucial to caring for your body and your financial future. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/74411c19-bd0c-4ade-946b-037602e2cae2/pexels-nashua-volquez-young-452210-1729931.jpg Blog - Having Fun with Financial Trade-offs: 5 Common Trade-off Types - Time Trade-offs | The Most Scarce of Resources Money is fluid. Constantly coming and going. Paycheck in. Rent out. Birthday check in. Oil change out. People have filed bankruptcy only to later recover and live a life of wealth. However, we cannot reverse time. We cannot buy ourselves more time. We cannot reclaim time. Time is finite. Time is the most scarce resource. 24 hours in a day. Regardless of how much money you have, we all have 24 hours in a day. While Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk can buy anything they want, they cannot buy a 25th hour. Therefore, how you spend your day and time is meaningful. In some cases, the trade off we are considering is between time and money. Do you work overtime to earn overtime pay or read a bedtime story to your children? Do you purchase a non-stop flight or a flight with two lay overs to save money? Life is short. We all die. Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk may be able to buy themselves better healthcare, healthier food, etc., which could allow them to live longer. However, there is still a limit, and even the best healthcare in the world does not guarantee a change in outcome. They cannot add-to-cart ‘2 extra years of life’. Ask yourself… How do I want to live my life? How can I spend, earn, and save money in a way that supports the way I want to live my life? https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/25-transformative-money-affirmations-part-1 monthly 0.5 2025-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/ae2bf138-fe9b-4c34-9e7b-82c7330029fc/pexels-aviz-2953581.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part I] - Financial Journey Affirmations Take a moment to consider your financial journey - where you currently are as well as where you have been, where you are headed, and where you would like to head. Think about how the difficulties in life have shaped your financial journey. Think about how other people (parents, friends, employers, partners, etc.) have shaped your financial journey. Use these reflections to inform affirmations about your financial journey. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/46a858f3-d6a6-403f-9429-bdcd5563a3ef/pexels-ekaterina-bolovtsova-4049517.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part I] - Financial Partnership Affirmations Reflect on your past relationships as well as your current relationship. Consider how you and your partner do and do not engage in financial decision making together. Think about what trust, transparency, safety, and security mean for you in a financial relationship with your partner and how important these are for you. Use these reflections to inform affirmations about your financial partnership. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/21301455-5447-405c-93c4-db1248358d31/pexels-enginakyurt-1820509.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part I] - Financial Worthiness Affirmations Financial worthiness affirmations can be challenging for many people. Whatever your past financial mistakes, you are still inherently worthy of having financial safety and security. You deserve to sleep well at night, not tossing and turning with financial worry. To learn more about worthiness, watch this Ted Talk by Meag-gan Ann O’Reilly - Enough is Enough: The Power of Your Inherent Value. Use these reflections to inform affirmations about your financial worthiness. Templates I deserve to take control of my personal finances. I forgive myself for the financial decisions that I made in the past. If I had known then what I know now, I would have made different decisions. I need financial assistance right now and that is okay. Needing financial assistance does not mean I am a failure. I am not defined by my income, debt, net worth, or credit score. I am not defined by the financial decisions I have made. I am not defined by my level of financial knowledge. I recognize that I frequently worry about money, and I am motivated to make changes. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/4f8db37d-19c9-4101-9783-189775322495/pexels-ivan-samkov-7620579.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part I] - Spending Affirmations Our relationship to spending - whether overspending, underspending, or emotionally spending - can be deeply embedded and therefore scary to change. Imagine how your financial future and overall wellness would look different if you spent more money. Imagine how your financial future and overall wellness would look different if you spent less money. Also consider how you might feel one year, three years, and ten years from now if your relationship to spending does not change at all. Use these reflections to inform affirmations about your spending. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/5edba051-9d34-44b5-b09a-7d13db2e8c00/pexels-ron-lach-10398349.jpg Blog - 25 Transformative Money Affirmations - Manifest That! [A Series - Part I] - Family, Friends, and Finance Affirmations Our family and friends have impacted, currently impact, and will continue to impact our financial beliefs, feelings, experiences, and behaviors. Think about the people in your life who have played a part in shaping your relationship to finances. Consider how your relationship to finances has shifted as you have passed through various life experiences - particularly as you moved out of your parents’ home, started your first job, had children, retired, etc. Use these reflections to inform affirmations about family, friends, and finances. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/10-useful-steps-to-addressing-your-financial-shame-we-all-have-it monthly 0.5 2024-07-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/42f8d55f-b74b-4bf9-903c-631c4fea0bfa/pexels-mohamed-hamdi-510308652-16282307.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - Financial Shame - We All Have It! Financial shame runs deep and has many faces, such as asking your brother for financial support, hiding debt from your partner, earning less than your partner, spending money on clothes you never wear, and not having retirement savings despite being a high income earner. Not only is there financial shame, there is also the shame around having financial shame (“I shouldn’t complain when other people are in a worse financial position than I am” or “I should have known better. I can only blame myself”)! The shame for believing you are the only one with financial shame! Where does it end? While some may feel shame more acutely or frequently, no one is impervious to shame. In my experience, shame is the feeling most often associated with finances - even more so than stress. So while financial shame feels lonely, especially as you scroll through Instagram to see your former college roommate on yet another vacation, you are far from alone in your financial shame. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/43c66d95-342c-49c7-b4d0-16ae31acd63a/pexels-thirdman-5060560.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - Financial Shame Among High Net Worth Individuals and High Income Earners: There is an all too common misconception that the more money you have or earn the less financial anxiety and shame you have. However, high net worth and high income individuals can experience these same emotions just as intensely. Earning or inheriting a lot of money does not automatically equate to more financial knowledge or to a healthier relationship with money. Doctors, lawyers, and other high income individuals may feel shame due to being in an unstable financial position (spending beyond their means, lacking any savings, etc.) or due to having a higher education yet no financial knowledge (just because you are a dentist or software engineer does not mean you automatically know how to manage your personal finances). Inheritors of wealth may feel shame due to not having earned their wealth or due to not living up to their parents’ expectations. Shame is shame regardless of your wealth. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/7be7e43c-5d65-401d-ba58-32ac39ca5523/pexels-karolina-grabowska-4197491.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 1. Lead with self compassion. There are several ways to practice self-compassion. First, you can reduce self-blame by acknowledging the nuance of your situation. While you do play a part in your current financial picture, so does intergenerational wealth (or lack thereof), non-existent financial education on a national level, and employment discrimination based on race, ability, sexual orientation, etc. You are just one piece of your financial puzzle. Second, understand that changing your financial habits and your overall financial wellness takes time, and be gentle with yourself when you have setbacks. Setbacks are a normal and expected part of the process. Finally, try to understand your situation differently by reframing your experience. Take a look at the following examples of reframing and notice how reframing your experience is filled with self-compassion. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e33c591e-3e6e-45e9-aa0e-5b730b91853e/pexels-gabby-k-7114752+copy.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 2. Understand the source of your shame. Shame can be self-imposed, influenced by expectations placed on us by our parents, friends, society, culture, religion, etc. Shame can also be directly stated or placed on us by others (friends, family, colleagues). Understanding the source of your shame can help you to focus your healing. Where and who is this financial shame coming from? What triggers my shame? Who is the voice of shame in my head? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/eb1ce675-dc97-4333-99b3-a9a990cfe83e/pexels-mikhail-nilov-8454909.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 3. Identify your motivators. Financial shame does not motivate us. Rather, financial shame holds us back from making change and keeps us stuck in cycles we so desperately want to break. Look towards the future and consider your goals - both financial and emotional. Financial goals may include buying a home, eliminating debt, supporting your parents in their retirement, etc. Emotional goals may include learning how to enjoy spending money on yourself, not feeling trapped in your job, increasing your self-confidence in money management, etc. Use these goals, instead of shame, as positive drivers of change. What motivates me in other areas of my life? How can I apply these motivators to my financial life? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/7624a2e8-20b3-4c1b-a6d5-2ef0492d4162/pexels-thelazyartist-1619930.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 4. Let go of your financial shame. Easier said than done of course! Letting go of financial shame may feel challenging, impossible even. Whereas, holding on to financial shame may feel comforting, familiar. When operating from a place of shame, we are often applying morality to objective situations. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/46a5ae9b-f557-4b1e-ac8b-b488761f8dba/pexels-alex-green-5699860.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 5. Reduce feelings of loneliness. Societally, we rarely talk about personal finances with one another, so we certainly do not share our deepest financial shames. This can lead to intense feelings of loneliness. Seek out stories of others who have made financial mistakes. You will find that others have made the exact same financial mistakes you have. You will also find that others have made completely different financial mistakes, which can highlight financial strengths you unknowingly have. Either way, you will start to feel less lonely knowing that we have all made mistakes. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/c4142ea8-1083-49c7-bfb0-29b654398a07/pexels-ekaterina-bolovtsova-4051134.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 6. Share your financial shame. People often do not share their shame for fear of judgment. Holding the shame as a secret only adds more fuel to the fire. Speaking your shame, on the other hand, helps relieve you of both the secret and the shame, and more often than not, the shame feels worse and bigger than the situation itself. Also, speaking your shame, invites others to share their shame. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0703a329-f4e1-4595-be55-59679b58fa93/The-Simple-Path-to-Wealth-by-JL-Collins.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 7. Increase your financial knowledge. Increasing your specific financial knowledge (for example, understanding the difference between a Traditional IRA and a Roth IRA) can be empowering and motivating. Increased financial knowledge does not mean that you will never make another financial mistake, but you will feel increased confidence in your future financial decision making, ultimately reducing additional financial shame from arising. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d05b8d60-88d0-4c95-91ec-05f41eaf99a0/pexels-silverkblack-23495758.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 8. Seek professional support. While not a necessary step in addressing financial shame, if you think you could benefit from professional support, consider working with the following professionals - Certified Financial Therapist (CFT) - you can also Google “financial therapist near me” Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC) Mental Health Professional https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e9af17b9-ddb8-43eb-ba9b-d9be8fae890f/pexels-jodaarba-3884710.jpg Blog - 10 Useful Steps To Addressing Your Financial Shame - We All Have It! - 9. Look towards the future. Dwelling on past financial behaviors and choices can lead to increased feelings of shame. However, typically, thinking about the future does not stir up the same feelings. Remember that your financial past does not dictate your financial future. Your financial present does not even dictate your financial future! It is never too late to start saving, investing, or paying down debt. It is never too late to change your career, buy a home, or start building intergenerational wealth for your family. It is also never too late to reduce your financial anxiety or to increase your financial wellness. Everyone is deserving of financial safety and security. What is the smallest financial change I can make today to change the trajectory of my financial future? 10. Finally, embrace your financial mistakes as a part of your financial journey! This step is the last step as it will likely take the most time and self-reflection to achieve. You can overcome whatever financial blunders may have occurred. Everyone, including Warren Buffet and Oprah - two of the wealthiest people in the world, has made financial mistakes. Do not let your mistakes define you. Use your financial shame as a learning opportunity and space for growth. What is one thing that I am grateful that I learned from my past financial mistakes? https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/7-key-ways-to-improve-your-relationship-to-sex-and-money monthly 0.5 2024-12-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6577095b-74f0-4253-aed3-db808bb3ebb9/pexels-mikhail-nilov-8669680.jpg Blog - 7 Key Ways to Improve Your Relationship To Sex and Money - 1. Communication is key. Talking about sex and money is hard. Not talking about sex and money is also hard. Oftentimes, we do not talk about sex and money until or unless it becomes an issue. In an effort to avoid feelings of vulnerability and discomfort at all costs, we find ourselves drowning in resentment, hurt, confusion, betrayal, worry, envy, frustration and more. Proactivity and consistency. Even when sex and money are going well, ongoing conversation is essential, increasing clarity and reducing the build up, boiling point, and inevitable overflow of feelings. If you are having sex, you should be talking about sex with your partner. If you are not having sex, you should be talking about sex with your partner. If you are spending, saving, or investing money, you should be talking about money with your partner. Ask your partner… “Do you like the frequency with which we talk about sex and money? Why or why not?” “How do you think talking about sex and money more frequently could improve our relationship?” “Why do you think we do not talk about sex and money more regularly?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/3c788073-7124-4b3f-b169-dad9ee519870/Communication.jpg Blog - 7 Key Ways to Improve Your Relationship To Sex and Money - 2. Communication is key. Can you think of two more taboo topics than sex and money?! Topics we should never discuss - not with our coworkers or our family or even our partners. So of course, we should not talk about sex and money during the initial dating phase, even though sex and money are leading causes for conflict in relationships as well as divorce (*said sarcastically). Ironically, although no one is talking about them…we are all thinking about them. They occupy a lot of mental space. Early and ongoing. Start talking about sex and money while in the dating phase to ensure that your beliefs and values are aligned. If you wait to have these important conversations, you may find differences that cannot be reconciled. Additionally, you are laying the foundation for future conversations about sex and money - “We are a couple that talks about sex and money.” If you are already married, start talking about your beliefs and values around sex and money today - it is never too late. After all, this will not be a one time conversation, as our relationship to sex and money is constantly evolving due to ongoing experiences. To gain more insight into your date’s relationship with money, ask… “What types of vacations do you most enjoy?” “What types of gifts do you enjoy giving and receiving?” “How would you like to split dinner tonight?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e9c3a43f-c12b-4dff-ad88-3224ea1c7578/iStock-1027702320.jpg Blog - 7 Key Ways to Improve Your Relationship To Sex and Money - 3. Communication is key. Sex and money can be exciting! For some, this may seem obvious, while for others this may feel impossible. Conversations about sex and money do not have to be daunting. You do not always need to look at detailed, confusing spreadsheets (Actually, you never need to look at detailed, confusing spreadsheets. If you enjoy spreadsheets and your partner doesn’t, pro tip - keep it simple. They will be much more likely to stay engaged. Keep your detailed spreadsheets to yourself and nerd out on your own time). You do not need to argue, and you certainly do not need to feel inadequate and ashamed. Mix up the conversation. Instead of another emotionally exhausting conversation about sex and money, celebrate together, learn together, explore together. This will begin to change your attitude towards conversations about sex and money. To mix up your conversations, try… Listening to a podcast together Death, Sex and Money This Is Uncomfortable Reading a book together The Psychology of Money The Simple Path to Wealth Dreaming about your goals for the future (without talking about the numbers). Ultimately, money is a tool to help you achieve your goals, and what is more exciting than working towards and achieving your goals with your partner?! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/cf58f8f6-485c-44bd-ba55-015a935d508a/Try+4.jpg Blog - 7 Key Ways to Improve Your Relationship To Sex and Money - 4. Self awareness, also key. Sex and money reveal our deepest insecurities and fears. Being naked financially can feel just as scary as being naked physically, and both can bring up a myriad of emotions. Then, there are the feelings about the feelings - oh the complexity! Better understanding your feelings will help you to improve your relationship to sex and money as well as your communication about them. It starts with you. You are the first person that will become aware of your insecurities and fears. Treat yourself the way you would treat a partner or friend confiding their insecurities - with kindness, curiosity, patience, and empathy. Be gentle with yourself, as you take steps towards identifying… The source of your feelings. Who you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with (a friend, partner, therapist, etc.). A path towards healing your relationship to sex and money. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e657bf49-d689-45d2-849c-59db50045e2c/pexels-mart-production-7606032.jpg Blog - 7 Key Ways to Improve Your Relationship To Sex and Money - 5. Self awareness, also key. As beliefs about sex and money are deeply embedded and begin forming at a young young age, we are often convinced that our beliefs are actually universal truths. Your beliefs about sex and money may be true to you, but no one’s beliefs about sex and money are wholly right or wrong. No one’s. That includes your beliefs. That includes your partner’s beliefs. Take accountability. If there is conflict around sex or money in your relationship, you are a part of the problem too. It is never all your partner’s fault. Everyone has room for reflection and growth (especially you savers - saving can be over glorified and spending can be over stigmatized. There are plenty of savers with unhealthy relationships to money and plenty of spenders with very healthy relationships to money). Ask yourself… “How am I contributing to the problem?” “What changes am I willing and able to make in an effort to change our relationship to money?” “What can I do to better understand my partner’s beliefs about money?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d1382b77-97a3-4268-a129-7800a74328bf/Comparing.jpg Blog - 7 Key Ways to Improve Your Relationship To Sex and Money - 6. Self awareness, also key. There are many thinking errors that occur around sex and money. In the case of sex, common thinking errors include ‘everyone is having more sex than I am’ and ‘everyone is having better sex than I am’. Common financial thinking errors include ‘my peers have more money than I do’ and ‘no one else is worried about money’. These thoughts are unfounded, as the majority of the time, we draw on our observations rather than facts to inform our assumptions about peoples’ sex and financial lives. Avoid comparison as much as possible. Social media is the epitome of displaying what we want others to believe about us. Many Tesla drivers lie awake at night worried about affording the monthly payment. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/302e6341-2a51-4bf8-9d55-7c0c5a321792/pexels-cottonbro-6127568.jpg Blog - 7 Key Ways to Improve Your Relationship To Sex and Money - 7. Self awareness, again key. We have all received implicit and explicit messages about sex and money that have helped to shape our beliefs. Explicit messages, such as ‘we can’t afford that’ or ‘rich people are selfish’, can stick with someone throughout their life. Even an explicit message heard a single time can be profound, creating long lasting feelings of scarcity, entitlement, avoidance, etc. While unspoken and often trickier to recognize, implicit messages can ring louder than explicit messages - actions speak louder than words. Our observations inform our beliefs - for example, ‘my parents never say no to me when I ask for toys. We must have a lot of money.” https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/7-financial-considerations-for-interracial-and-intercultural-couples monthly 0.5 2025-04-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d46f2ce7-00da-4453-acec-c96029d87001/pexels-mikhail-nilov-6972785.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Considerations for Interracial and Intercultural Couples - 1. Intergenerational living is common throughout the world and provides many physical and mental health benefits to all family members. Intergenerational living can look different among different cultures; therefore discussing your expectations for the future are essential. White western people on the other hand are generally more individualistic than other races and ethnicities and are more likely to move into assisted living facilities as they age. Neither approach is right or wrong, and both impact decision making and have financial implications worth considering. For example, if you would like to have an intergenerational household, consider a main floor bedroom and full bathroom before making a home purchase for accessibility purposes. Or if your parents plan to live in an assisted living facility, consider several factors including proximity, payment structures, and specific supports provided (level of care, memory care, etc.). Questions to ask one another include: “Do you know where your parents would like to live as they age? Do they have any expectations of us to provide financial and \ or physical support?” “How can we prepare for my parents to live with us in the future?” “If your aging parents live with your brother, will we provide him financial assistance, so he can support them?” “What feelings does intergenerational living versus assisted living facilities bring up for you?” “Would we like our children or grandchildren to live with us one day? If so, what expectations would we have of them to contribute to household expenses?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/77bcb345-28b0-4d3d-a88e-5f5b871d97b1/pexels-mikhail-nilov-7731331.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Considerations for Interracial and Intercultural Couples - 2. Inequality of intergenerational wealth is real. White people are far more likely to receive a financial inheritance than any other race or ethnicity. Entering into a financial relationship with a partner who has intergenerational wealth can lead to feelings of inadequacy, discomfort, and fear. You may even experience imposter syndrome (believing that you are inadequate, incompetent, or unqualified). You may be suddenly presented with new financial considerations, such as receiving a large inheritance. You also may be in situations that you and your parents have never been able to navigate, such as meeting with a financial advisor. Additionally, feelings of guilt, anger, and confusion can arise as you have even a fuller experience of the ways in which capitalism makes the wealthy wealthier at the expense of others. Money scripts that you have held deeply may be challenged. Internal struggles as well as struggles with your partner and possibly even your family (all of whom may not understand your experience) are completely normal and valid. Explore and allow space for your feelings to expand and to be challenged. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0669a384-52c4-4602-839b-80b915cb2bd4/pexels-mikhail-nilov-6969684.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Considerations for Interracial and Intercultural Couples - 3. Familial financial support and customs - both in terms of giving and receiving. Different cultures have different financial customs and expectations that are often established without discussion. For example, in some cultures, the patriarch of the family pays for dinner, while in other cultures the working family members or the highest earning family members pay for dinner regardless of age. People have different levels of comfortability with giving and receiving gifts, especially financial gifts. In fact! People can have very different definitions of what a financial gift even is. For some people, a financial gift is any amount of money to anyone. For others, money to family is not considered a financial gift - rather, a joy, a responsibility, or an afterthought. Again, no one’s definition of a financial gift is right or wrong. There is no universal definition, and there shouldn’t be! Explore your approach to financial gift giving and receiving until you find a solution that works for both of you. Note - finding a solution that works for both you does not mean that you will feel 100% in your comfort zone. With any change, feelings of discomfort, worry, etc. are common. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/aa445696-642b-4125-881f-8653445676fe/pexels-rdne-stock-project-5922677.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Considerations for Interracial and Intercultural Couples - 4. Distrust of mainstream financial institutions. Due to financial discrimination, gatekeeping, and exploitation throughout generations, from racial wage gaps to banks denying mortgages to people of color, many people have a deep distrust of mainstream financial institutions, such as banks, credit cards, etc. Alternatives, such as mutual aid in the form of communal or familial sharing, are common in many cultures and replace mainstream financial institutions. Additionally, historically financial ‘best practices’ have been determined by wealthy white men. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/db209344-3884-42fc-a9e7-f9a7ed7de9ce/pexels-mikhail-nilov-6530565.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Considerations for Interracial and Intercultural Couples - 5. Lifestyle considerations, such as the neighborhood you would like to live in and the school you would like to send your children to, can look different among interracial and intercultural families. US cities vary in terms of segregation, and for many interracial and intercultural couples, this can present a challenge - finding a neighborhood or community that represents both races \ cultures. Another potential lifestyle consideration is visiting family who are living in other countries. The financial implications of these visits can vary based on frequency of visits, length of visits, cost of flights, cost of living (staying with family v staying in a hotel, etc.). Thoughtful planning is necessary in order to ensure these visits happen. Additionally, the number of children people generally have can vary greatly depending on culture as well as expectations for children to attend college. All of these decisions have a price tag attached - a factor although not necessarily the be all end all. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/a4087ace-7677-47e3-987e-8bb27a26e2ab/pexels-fauzanfitria-8646391.jpg Blog - 7 Financial Considerations for Interracial and Intercultural Couples - 6. Time orientation can impact financial behaviors as well as financial risk tolerance. Cultures with a strong future orientation may be more prone to save, plan and invest aggressively due to feelings of worry and anxiety. Cultures with a strong present orientation, on the other hand, may be more resourceful, adaptable, and willing to spend money to enjoy the moment. Finally, cultures with a strong past orientation may be more conservative and focused on consistent and gradual wealth accumulation. We all have past, present, and future time orientations to varying degrees. If you aren’t entirely sure if your time orientation, you can take a quiz here to learn more. https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/5-emotional-causes-of-financial-stress-part-1 monthly 0.5 2024-09-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/58372942-ca3d-45e2-b178-b6a8eee5990b/pexels-anna-shvets-5257425.jpg Blog - 5 Emotional Causes of Financial Stress [Activities Included] - 1. Feelings of financial guilt can arise when you feel a sense of obligation either from others or from yourself. For example, your family expects you to fly home from across the country for your grandmother’s 85th birthday party. You are also expected to financially contribute to the family gift. While of course you would love to celebrate your grandmother, you may also feel the weight of purchasing a $500 plane ticket and contributing $50 to the gift. Guilt can cause ongoing financial stress as various expectations and obligations continue to arise throughout your life. If you experience feelings of financial guilt, start by asking yourself these questions… What do I want to do in this situation? What do I feel obligated to do in this situation? What alternatives exist? (alternatives always exist, explore the gray areas) Is this situation causing me significant financial stress? If so, what do I need to do to alleviate this financial stress? How can I communicate my feelings so I am better understood in this situation? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/d4f0df5a-6123-49c7-a64f-51b741f14b7b/pexels-sarmad-mughal-305070.jpg Blog - 5 Emotional Causes of Financial Stress [Activities Included] - 2. Envy driven financial behaviors are rarely decisions made in your best interest. For example, you own a used Toyota with over 150,000 miles, while your friend leases luxury vehicles. You have no car payment, work fully remote, and live in a city with ample public transportation yet you find yourself considering purchasing a Tesla. Comparison, the root and act of envy, causes ongoing financial stress as you are not acting according to your values but rather according to other’s values. If you experience feelings of financial envy, start by asking yourself these questions… https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e1ca793a-0288-4bda-b6eb-a409d77885e0/iStock-1185422927.jpg Blog - 5 Emotional Causes of Financial Stress [Activities Included] - 3. Shame is one of the most common feelings that arises in personal finance. Financial shame runs deep and has many faces, such as asking your brother for financial support, hiding debt from your partner, earning less than your partner, spending money on clothes you never wear, or not having any savings. Shame begets shame, creating an incredibly lonely experience. Freeing yourself from shame takes time and unlearning. If you experience feelings of financial shame, start by asking yourself these questions… https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/0e0d1aa7-3408-4013-ad20-cdb7c75bf5ad/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4560092.jpg Blog - 5 Emotional Causes of Financial Stress [Activities Included] - 4. Worry is another common feeling that arises in personal finance and can be all consuming - impacting people on a daily (or even constant) basis. Oftentimes, regardless of income or net worth, worry comes in the form of a scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset means you believe that you do not or will not have ‘enough’ money. ‘Enough’ money in the event the worst happens - whatever the worst may be for you. A scarcity mindset is often (but not always) established out of necessity. For example, your mom was the primary breadwinner and lost her job when you were eight years old. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/fa743d87-a79f-4df3-9f06-07461c3e00c5/pexels-marko-klaric-6408282.jpg Blog - 5 Emotional Causes of Financial Stress [Activities Included] - 5. Fear and overwhelm typically come into play when making financial decisions, particularly financial decisions around investing. For example, you want to contribute to your employer-sponsored retirement plan, but you can’t decide if you ‘should’ contribute to the Traditional 401k or Roth 401k. Fear of making the ‘wrong decision’ and being overwhelmed by the sheer number of options you have creates financial stress that results in not making a decision at all. Not making a decision may feel like a relief in the moment; however, in the long run, the financial fear and overwhelm will persist, and with many financial decisions, making no decision (not contributing to any retirement account) is usually the actual worst decision (Traditional 401ks and Roth 401ks are both great and have lots of advantages!). https://www.soundfinancialtherapy.com/blog/10-therapeutic-steps-to-change-the-direction-of-your-financial-journey monthly 0.5 2024-05-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/23eb4f27-fc0e-480c-a925-c5170f1eef2f/Exploring+Feelings.jpg Blog - 10 Therapeutic Steps To Change The Direction Of Your Financial Journey - 1. Have patience with yourself and do not blame yourself for your lack of financial knowledge or even for your current financial situation. Blaming yourself will stir up feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment, and it is truly not your fault that you never received a formal personal finance education. It is also not your fault that you may have experienced financial trauma or intergenerational financial trauma. In fact, humans are adaptive and resourceful, and you may have developed your current financial behaviors out of necessity, as a coping mechanism, or in response to past experiences. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the benefit of the doubt. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/e55931ac-5bd0-4fe1-80f4-aebdb3b5a6f5/strong.jpg Blog - 10 Therapeutic Steps To Change The Direction Of Your Financial Journey - 3. Focus on your financial strengths and areas of confidence - yes, you do have financial strengths. Everyone is doing something well financially. “I pay my rent on time every month.” “I feel confident that I am qualified for other jobs.” “I spend money in ways that align with my values.” “I recognize that I frequently worry about money, and I am motivated to make changes.” Keep your strengths at the forefront of your journey to reduce feelings of self-blame, helplessness, and frustration. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/6d1759c4-44d0-4ca6-9817-8dd0ecc229a2/Reading+About+Money.png Blog - 10 Therapeutic Steps To Change The Direction Of Your Financial Journey - 4. Start small, taking incremental steps towards acquiring financial knowledge. You can not and will not learn all about personal finance today or this week or this month. Instead of allowing that to dissuade you from pursuing financial knowledge, allow it to free you of the weight of believing you can or should learn it all. Every little bit of information adds up over time, and you will know more each day than you knew yesterday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/601125a5-fc57-4001-aa0c-cbe3bab4579e/Debt+Infographic.jpg Blog - 10 Therapeutic Steps To Change The Direction Of Your Financial Journey - 5. Let go of perfection, as it can lead to decision paralysis. The more you learn about personal finance, the more decisions you will be making for your own personal finances. These decisions may feel scary and overwhelming and bring up thoughts such as “I don’t want to make the wrong decision, so I won’t make a decision at all.” If you are having these thoughts, commit to a decision and continue learning more - you can always change course later. For example, there are several methods to paying down debt (snowball, avalanche, volcano, hybrid, etc.). In this situation, it is more important that you are paying down debt than the specific method you are using. 6. DO NOT create a budget. Many people have a visceral reaction when they hear the word budget let alone think about creating a budget. If that applies to you, do not create a budget! A budget is simply an estimation of what you think you will spend in the month ahead. Budgets do not typically account for the many unexpecteds of life and are, more often than not, completely arbitrary, ultimately setting people up for feelings of failure, inadequacy, and shame. Instead… https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/609af54984bf403213746803/36e70d3a-8c03-432c-86af-d7ca5217fa58/pexels-photo-5934082.jpg Blog - 10 Therapeutic Steps To Change The Direction Of Your Financial Journey - 8. Calculate your net worth. Your net worth is simply all of your assets (positives) minus all of your liabilities (negatives). Add up savings accounts, retirement accounts, etc. and subtract credit card debt, student loan debt, etc. Calculating your net worth the first time may be scary. You may have a negative net worth - that is okay! Remember - net worth does not equal self worth. Calculating your net worth the first time gives you a baseline. Continue to calculate your net worth every six months (forever!), so over time, you can see the progress you are making. Again, you can manually track your net worth in a spreadsheet or use a free online tool, such as Empower or Ramsey. 9. Celebrate! As you track your net worth, find little ways to celebrate yourself and your progress. 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